Thanks for sharing this anecdote. It is instructive.
We have become spoiled and in turn spoil our children because life has become progressively easier as technology and infrastructure have become more sophisticated. It is an unfortunate externality of the pursuit of comfort. In addition to this, glam is sold by Hollywood and the American…
Thanks for sharing this anecdote. It is instructive.
We have become spoiled and in turn spoil our children because life has become progressively easier as technology and infrastructure have become more sophisticated. It is an unfortunate externality of the pursuit of comfort. In addition to this, glam is sold by Hollywood and the American marketing engine (unparalleled in the world) as the only desirable course (note the popularity of the Kardashians and the glam coiffures and clothing and jewelry pushed in all reality shows). Of course glam is faux and superficial and is a path that leads away from true substance and character building. And yet, because our visual sense is our most powerful, we get sucked in and our psyche gives it weight - as if it matters more than character or honor. Even I am not immune and I know better.
Somehow, we need a marketing campaign that "glamorizes" getting dirty and sweaty, building muscle and character and working outside in some cases. One thing I have learned in my life is that even good ideas have to be sold to people. The UMC always sets the cultural tone in any society and right now, the UMC is behaving very badly toward the working classes - demonizing and shaming them in the worst way possible. And the press are their handmaidens—gleefully communicating this arrogance and malice (at times) into the ether for all to consume.
There was an article by a reporter a couple of months ago asking whether it was okay to hire and/or speak to a plumber because the homeowner suspected that he was a likely Trump voter. I mean, seriously? This author was considering whether it was okay to dehumanize this guy in the full light of day simply over suspected (not even proven) political beliefs. The condescension and arrogance on display with this virtue signaling/fear mongering is just staggering! https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2017/01/13/donald-trump-class-rural-white-democrats-glenn-reynolds-column/96413412/
Of course, as you point out, our younger classes also have not been taught a healthy work ethic. They have not been taught to take pride in a job well done; to strive for excellence regardless of whether you are getting paid for it or not. We have the power to change this. Where there is a will, there is a way.
"Somehow, we need a marketing campaign that "glamorizes" getting dirty and sweaty, building muscle and character and working outside in some cases. One thing I have learned in my life is that even good ideas have to be sold to people."
...And also detoxify these trades for young women. I have a female friends who is a pipe layer and works with mostly men and when she was living and working here in Toronto years ago she told me about how misogynist they could be, especially after listening to Toronto's top morning drive show host who had, like most morning drive show hosts, the emotional maturity and enlightened attitudes of a 14-year-old boy. She said while listening to this shitbrain the guys became more misogynist, and then calmed down an hour or two after the show was off the air. It doesn't help when you're locked into an 'old boys' network', emphasis on the 'boys'.
Point taken. But you can learn to navigate this. I was in the Army, one of the most misogynist boys clubs around. And, I not only survived but learned a few tricks and how to stand up for myself. Believe it or not, it is a known fact that within the Army, units that include female soldiers like support, medical, commo, admin, the men behave in a more civilized fashion. So, she needs to recruit a second female and/or learn how to clap back when they get out of line. Just a thought.
Oh, my friend sounded like she handled them like a pro. But, the environment shouldn't be permitted in the first place. The military is famously an institution that doesn't protect women, even to this day. I don't doubt it's a great place to learn how to stand up for yourself, but it's also a good place to get raped - happened to a veteran friend of mine, multiple times. And I don't know if you're old enough to remember Shannon Faulkner, the first female student at The Citadel....they destroyed her, and she'd already gone through a lot just to get in there.
Terribly sorry to hear this and I hope that your friend's perps were punished. And I am old enough to remember SF. Although at least one of her peers has a different take on that situation: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/shannon-faulkner-ruined-feminism-for-the-citadel Of course the harrassment, bullying, sexual assault and career-path sabotage shouldn't be allowed and some strides have been made although there is still much work to be done. But, for the women who have to blaze the trails to this equitable future, we have had to be strong and endure because that future doesn't exist now. And we have to deal with what is in front of us right now. I was suggesting a strategy for coping with the realities on the ground right now. Institutions are coming around but in the mean time, we have to learn to protect ourselves.
And, I would say your friend is not "locked" into an old boys network but chose to go there most likely knowing that there would be resistance. And, it sounds like she IS handling it. So, more power to her. She is a pioneer who is making it easier for those who come behind her. This is the same for many women in the military as well.
What a gawdawful article that is. 'Francis' is a misogynist pig and blames Shannon Faulkner for not having what it takes to put up with a helluva lot of shit from a bunch of misogynist pigs. On top of that, he then admits that female cadets have to work much, much harder even today because The Citadel is still a refuge for misogynist pigs who call it 'leadership building'. It's bloody unequal and unfair and it doesn't do a thing to move equity mindset forward. At least for the thirty women who came after the VMI fight, they had each other. Faulkner may have lacked some gumption but she also DID expend a lot of energy just to get in, and she scared the shit out of a bunch of misogynist pigs who are terrified of having to accept women as anything other than sexual objects. Oh, and that guy's such a man he doesn't even write this under his full name. What a pussy! Then again, what do you expect from an institution that's as terrified of vaginas as they are?
In Susan Faludi's book Stiffed (referred to here as 'just out' but it came out more than ten years ago), about American masculinity, there's a bit about Faulkner. Here's an excerpt of what she had to put up with to, I don't know, build 'leadership' or some bullshit:
I've had a low opinion of The Citadel since then, and you just reinforced it massively. This little wuss had it easy, since no one was 'testing' his leadership skills like they 'test' their female cadets. I'm with you on the need to be strong and endure - the world is an unfair place - but that doesn't mean we have to reinforce it by not challenging our own mindsets. Sounds like at the Citadel, that's only for women, not for the boys.
Not sure how to respond to this. I prefer not to be angry about that state of affairs in the military. I just tried to deal with things the best I could. Perhaps our perspectives differ because I was never accorded any respect as a child growing up so when I entered the military, and they treated me far better than my family, it was a win of a sort, in spite of bad boy behavior. And I learned to hold my own with the men to a certain degree.
Here's the thing - if you are a woman and you are breaching the portals of a spoiled boys club, you are going to face headwinds and harrassment. Getting pissed about it does nothing. Just put your head down and pursue your course and let the slings and arrows roll off your back. Barbara Walters said it best. She was asked in an interview how she survived the "Mad Men" era of 60s media. She said "I ignored it." This is powerful. And it's how I overcame child abuse and many other challenges in my life. I worked very hard not to allow the negatives to deter me or even consume my focus.
You create what you focus on. It's that simple.
Things are getting better, btw. There are thousands of organizations devoted to lifting women up and I am on the board of directors for one of them. This suits my philosophy - I would rather work to empower women than fight against men. This approach will get us further, faster. YMMV. Be well! :-)
LOL! Good answer. I hope there's someone like you on the Board at the Citadel...It's quite one thing to keep your head down and ignore it, another to justify it and argue "She just didn't have what it takes," when said writer might well not have made it had HE had to go through that years ago. There's more to that Faludi piece than in that snippet...it was all I could find this morning on limited time. I read her book which is killer, BTW, in exploring different aspects of American masculinity. She described the culture at the Cit as being a bit 'homoerotic'...rituals the guys went through that weren't specifically gay, but had definitely gay overtones ;P
I just wonder how tolerant the Cit would have been had "CADET PINDICK" and "FUTURE TINY DICKTATOR" might have gone over had it ever appeared on Cit dorm doors. Or if someone invented a filk ditty (a 'filk' is what was done with that Candyman verse - taking a popular tune and rewriting the words) that the women sang whenever a cadet they didn't like walked by.
The US military tried to recruit me out of high school and there was no way I would have joined; I knew what they were like and at that point, with the Vietnam War less than 15 years behind us, I had plenty of evidence that they didn't support 'their boys', and I knew they wouldn't 'their girls'. Also, I would have gotten court-martialied for telling them how badly they were running that chicken outfit :)
I had a friend who went into the military who had a big thing for me; I never returned his feelings but we became good friends. I met him less than a week before he had to go to boot camp and he was depressed as hell; college was over and now Sheer Hell was about to start.
At Christmas he came to visit me and my family and he was Private Super Duper Mega Soldier Boy...and he made a career of the military, and retired last year. Never married.
Had we ever gotten together, i would have gotten HIM court martialed with my mouth :)
What is the UMC? Unaccountable Media Corporations?
It's interesting how values are promulgated to successive generations; partly by parents, partly by schools and organizations, partly by media (including social media today). Often through fiction, like with relatable characters demonstrating traits in positive or negative ways. The cultural elites who were among the first infected with neo-progressivism (or wokeness if you prefer) are very aware of this.
I recall being very impressed at some early age by an episode of a TV western, The Rifleman, where the protagonist defended somebody coming through town and expressing unpopular ideas, even while not agreeing with the man. It was like a version of "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." framed for TV viewers and children. I think it had an effect on the values I internalized.
So what values are children's media instilling in kids today? And what values have been instilled over recent decades?
I agree that showing positive and respectful portrayals of working class folks, and of skilled tradespeople, would be helpful.
Upper Middle Class. Agree with the rest. I think media has been an outsized influence and it would be nice if they would take more responsibility. Doubt if we see it happen any time soon. Pardon my cynicism on this topic.
Yeah, I think they are more focused on being "accountable" for ending oppression and inequity while also somehow getting enough amygdala driven clicks & views to pay salaries, than on creating a functioning and sustainable society.
Hey, Unaccountable Media Corporations was pretty close, I should at least get a participation trophy.
Thanks for sharing this anecdote. It is instructive.
We have become spoiled and in turn spoil our children because life has become progressively easier as technology and infrastructure have become more sophisticated. It is an unfortunate externality of the pursuit of comfort. In addition to this, glam is sold by Hollywood and the American marketing engine (unparalleled in the world) as the only desirable course (note the popularity of the Kardashians and the glam coiffures and clothing and jewelry pushed in all reality shows). Of course glam is faux and superficial and is a path that leads away from true substance and character building. And yet, because our visual sense is our most powerful, we get sucked in and our psyche gives it weight - as if it matters more than character or honor. Even I am not immune and I know better.
Somehow, we need a marketing campaign that "glamorizes" getting dirty and sweaty, building muscle and character and working outside in some cases. One thing I have learned in my life is that even good ideas have to be sold to people. The UMC always sets the cultural tone in any society and right now, the UMC is behaving very badly toward the working classes - demonizing and shaming them in the worst way possible. And the press are their handmaidens—gleefully communicating this arrogance and malice (at times) into the ether for all to consume.
There was an article by a reporter a couple of months ago asking whether it was okay to hire and/or speak to a plumber because the homeowner suspected that he was a likely Trump voter. I mean, seriously? This author was considering whether it was okay to dehumanize this guy in the full light of day simply over suspected (not even proven) political beliefs. The condescension and arrogance on display with this virtue signaling/fear mongering is just staggering! https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2017/01/13/donald-trump-class-rural-white-democrats-glenn-reynolds-column/96413412/
Of course, as you point out, our younger classes also have not been taught a healthy work ethic. They have not been taught to take pride in a job well done; to strive for excellence regardless of whether you are getting paid for it or not. We have the power to change this. Where there is a will, there is a way.
"Somehow, we need a marketing campaign that "glamorizes" getting dirty and sweaty, building muscle and character and working outside in some cases. One thing I have learned in my life is that even good ideas have to be sold to people."
...And also detoxify these trades for young women. I have a female friends who is a pipe layer and works with mostly men and when she was living and working here in Toronto years ago she told me about how misogynist they could be, especially after listening to Toronto's top morning drive show host who had, like most morning drive show hosts, the emotional maturity and enlightened attitudes of a 14-year-old boy. She said while listening to this shitbrain the guys became more misogynist, and then calmed down an hour or two after the show was off the air. It doesn't help when you're locked into an 'old boys' network', emphasis on the 'boys'.
Point taken. But you can learn to navigate this. I was in the Army, one of the most misogynist boys clubs around. And, I not only survived but learned a few tricks and how to stand up for myself. Believe it or not, it is a known fact that within the Army, units that include female soldiers like support, medical, commo, admin, the men behave in a more civilized fashion. So, she needs to recruit a second female and/or learn how to clap back when they get out of line. Just a thought.
Oh, my friend sounded like she handled them like a pro. But, the environment shouldn't be permitted in the first place. The military is famously an institution that doesn't protect women, even to this day. I don't doubt it's a great place to learn how to stand up for yourself, but it's also a good place to get raped - happened to a veteran friend of mine, multiple times. And I don't know if you're old enough to remember Shannon Faulkner, the first female student at The Citadel....they destroyed her, and she'd already gone through a lot just to get in there.
Terribly sorry to hear this and I hope that your friend's perps were punished. And I am old enough to remember SF. Although at least one of her peers has a different take on that situation: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/shannon-faulkner-ruined-feminism-for-the-citadel Of course the harrassment, bullying, sexual assault and career-path sabotage shouldn't be allowed and some strides have been made although there is still much work to be done. But, for the women who have to blaze the trails to this equitable future, we have had to be strong and endure because that future doesn't exist now. And we have to deal with what is in front of us right now. I was suggesting a strategy for coping with the realities on the ground right now. Institutions are coming around but in the mean time, we have to learn to protect ourselves.
And, I would say your friend is not "locked" into an old boys network but chose to go there most likely knowing that there would be resistance. And, it sounds like she IS handling it. So, more power to her. She is a pioneer who is making it easier for those who come behind her. This is the same for many women in the military as well.
What a gawdawful article that is. 'Francis' is a misogynist pig and blames Shannon Faulkner for not having what it takes to put up with a helluva lot of shit from a bunch of misogynist pigs. On top of that, he then admits that female cadets have to work much, much harder even today because The Citadel is still a refuge for misogynist pigs who call it 'leadership building'. It's bloody unequal and unfair and it doesn't do a thing to move equity mindset forward. At least for the thirty women who came after the VMI fight, they had each other. Faulkner may have lacked some gumption but she also DID expend a lot of energy just to get in, and she scared the shit out of a bunch of misogynist pigs who are terrified of having to accept women as anything other than sexual objects. Oh, and that guy's such a man he doesn't even write this under his full name. What a pussy! Then again, what do you expect from an institution that's as terrified of vaginas as they are?
In Susan Faludi's book Stiffed (referred to here as 'just out' but it came out more than ten years ago), about American masculinity, there's a bit about Faulkner. Here's an excerpt of what she had to put up with to, I don't know, build 'leadership' or some bullshit:
https://cyber.harvard.edu/vaw00/Faulkner.html
I've had a low opinion of The Citadel since then, and you just reinforced it massively. This little wuss had it easy, since no one was 'testing' his leadership skills like they 'test' their female cadets. I'm with you on the need to be strong and endure - the world is an unfair place - but that doesn't mean we have to reinforce it by not challenging our own mindsets. Sounds like at the Citadel, that's only for women, not for the boys.
Not sure how to respond to this. I prefer not to be angry about that state of affairs in the military. I just tried to deal with things the best I could. Perhaps our perspectives differ because I was never accorded any respect as a child growing up so when I entered the military, and they treated me far better than my family, it was a win of a sort, in spite of bad boy behavior. And I learned to hold my own with the men to a certain degree.
Here's the thing - if you are a woman and you are breaching the portals of a spoiled boys club, you are going to face headwinds and harrassment. Getting pissed about it does nothing. Just put your head down and pursue your course and let the slings and arrows roll off your back. Barbara Walters said it best. She was asked in an interview how she survived the "Mad Men" era of 60s media. She said "I ignored it." This is powerful. And it's how I overcame child abuse and many other challenges in my life. I worked very hard not to allow the negatives to deter me or even consume my focus.
You create what you focus on. It's that simple.
Things are getting better, btw. There are thousands of organizations devoted to lifting women up and I am on the board of directors for one of them. This suits my philosophy - I would rather work to empower women than fight against men. This approach will get us further, faster. YMMV. Be well! :-)
LOL! Good answer. I hope there's someone like you on the Board at the Citadel...It's quite one thing to keep your head down and ignore it, another to justify it and argue "She just didn't have what it takes," when said writer might well not have made it had HE had to go through that years ago. There's more to that Faludi piece than in that snippet...it was all I could find this morning on limited time. I read her book which is killer, BTW, in exploring different aspects of American masculinity. She described the culture at the Cit as being a bit 'homoerotic'...rituals the guys went through that weren't specifically gay, but had definitely gay overtones ;P
I just wonder how tolerant the Cit would have been had "CADET PINDICK" and "FUTURE TINY DICKTATOR" might have gone over had it ever appeared on Cit dorm doors. Or if someone invented a filk ditty (a 'filk' is what was done with that Candyman verse - taking a popular tune and rewriting the words) that the women sang whenever a cadet they didn't like walked by.
The US military tried to recruit me out of high school and there was no way I would have joined; I knew what they were like and at that point, with the Vietnam War less than 15 years behind us, I had plenty of evidence that they didn't support 'their boys', and I knew they wouldn't 'their girls'. Also, I would have gotten court-martialied for telling them how badly they were running that chicken outfit :)
I had a friend who went into the military who had a big thing for me; I never returned his feelings but we became good friends. I met him less than a week before he had to go to boot camp and he was depressed as hell; college was over and now Sheer Hell was about to start.
At Christmas he came to visit me and my family and he was Private Super Duper Mega Soldier Boy...and he made a career of the military, and retired last year. Never married.
Had we ever gotten together, i would have gotten HIM court martialed with my mouth :)
I don't do misogynist institutions.
LOL. You are a pistol!
What is the UMC? Unaccountable Media Corporations?
It's interesting how values are promulgated to successive generations; partly by parents, partly by schools and organizations, partly by media (including social media today). Often through fiction, like with relatable characters demonstrating traits in positive or negative ways. The cultural elites who were among the first infected with neo-progressivism (or wokeness if you prefer) are very aware of this.
I recall being very impressed at some early age by an episode of a TV western, The Rifleman, where the protagonist defended somebody coming through town and expressing unpopular ideas, even while not agreeing with the man. It was like a version of "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." framed for TV viewers and children. I think it had an effect on the values I internalized.
So what values are children's media instilling in kids today? And what values have been instilled over recent decades?
I agree that showing positive and respectful portrayals of working class folks, and of skilled tradespeople, would be helpful.
Upper Middle Class. Agree with the rest. I think media has been an outsized influence and it would be nice if they would take more responsibility. Doubt if we see it happen any time soon. Pardon my cynicism on this topic.
Yeah, I think they are more focused on being "accountable" for ending oppression and inequity while also somehow getting enough amygdala driven clicks & views to pay salaries, than on creating a functioning and sustainable society.
Hey, Unaccountable Media Corporations was pretty close, I should at least get a participation trophy.
You crack me up. Here you go: 🏆 ;-)
The article was roughly 5 years ago. Apologies for the error.