Point taken. But you can learn to navigate this. I was in the Army, one of the most misogynist boys clubs around. And, I not only survived but learned a few tricks and how to stand up for myself. Believe it or not, it is a known fact that within the Army, units that include female soldiers like support, medical, commo, admin, the men beh…
Point taken. But you can learn to navigate this. I was in the Army, one of the most misogynist boys clubs around. And, I not only survived but learned a few tricks and how to stand up for myself. Believe it or not, it is a known fact that within the Army, units that include female soldiers like support, medical, commo, admin, the men behave in a more civilized fashion. So, she needs to recruit a second female and/or learn how to clap back when they get out of line. Just a thought.
Oh, my friend sounded like she handled them like a pro. But, the environment shouldn't be permitted in the first place. The military is famously an institution that doesn't protect women, even to this day. I don't doubt it's a great place to learn how to stand up for yourself, but it's also a good place to get raped - happened to a veteran friend of mine, multiple times. And I don't know if you're old enough to remember Shannon Faulkner, the first female student at The Citadel....they destroyed her, and she'd already gone through a lot just to get in there.
Terribly sorry to hear this and I hope that your friend's perps were punished. And I am old enough to remember SF. Although at least one of her peers has a different take on that situation: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/shannon-faulkner-ruined-feminism-for-the-citadel Of course the harrassment, bullying, sexual assault and career-path sabotage shouldn't be allowed and some strides have been made although there is still much work to be done. But, for the women who have to blaze the trails to this equitable future, we have had to be strong and endure because that future doesn't exist now. And we have to deal with what is in front of us right now. I was suggesting a strategy for coping with the realities on the ground right now. Institutions are coming around but in the mean time, we have to learn to protect ourselves.
And, I would say your friend is not "locked" into an old boys network but chose to go there most likely knowing that there would be resistance. And, it sounds like she IS handling it. So, more power to her. She is a pioneer who is making it easier for those who come behind her. This is the same for many women in the military as well.
What a gawdawful article that is. 'Francis' is a misogynist pig and blames Shannon Faulkner for not having what it takes to put up with a helluva lot of shit from a bunch of misogynist pigs. On top of that, he then admits that female cadets have to work much, much harder even today because The Citadel is still a refuge for misogynist pigs who call it 'leadership building'. It's bloody unequal and unfair and it doesn't do a thing to move equity mindset forward. At least for the thirty women who came after the VMI fight, they had each other. Faulkner may have lacked some gumption but she also DID expend a lot of energy just to get in, and she scared the shit out of a bunch of misogynist pigs who are terrified of having to accept women as anything other than sexual objects. Oh, and that guy's such a man he doesn't even write this under his full name. What a pussy! Then again, what do you expect from an institution that's as terrified of vaginas as they are?
In Susan Faludi's book Stiffed (referred to here as 'just out' but it came out more than ten years ago), about American masculinity, there's a bit about Faulkner. Here's an excerpt of what she had to put up with to, I don't know, build 'leadership' or some bullshit:
I've had a low opinion of The Citadel since then, and you just reinforced it massively. This little wuss had it easy, since no one was 'testing' his leadership skills like they 'test' their female cadets. I'm with you on the need to be strong and endure - the world is an unfair place - but that doesn't mean we have to reinforce it by not challenging our own mindsets. Sounds like at the Citadel, that's only for women, not for the boys.
Not sure how to respond to this. I prefer not to be angry about that state of affairs in the military. I just tried to deal with things the best I could. Perhaps our perspectives differ because I was never accorded any respect as a child growing up so when I entered the military, and they treated me far better than my family, it was a win of a sort, in spite of bad boy behavior. And I learned to hold my own with the men to a certain degree.
Here's the thing - if you are a woman and you are breaching the portals of a spoiled boys club, you are going to face headwinds and harrassment. Getting pissed about it does nothing. Just put your head down and pursue your course and let the slings and arrows roll off your back. Barbara Walters said it best. She was asked in an interview how she survived the "Mad Men" era of 60s media. She said "I ignored it." This is powerful. And it's how I overcame child abuse and many other challenges in my life. I worked very hard not to allow the negatives to deter me or even consume my focus.
You create what you focus on. It's that simple.
Things are getting better, btw. There are thousands of organizations devoted to lifting women up and I am on the board of directors for one of them. This suits my philosophy - I would rather work to empower women than fight against men. This approach will get us further, faster. YMMV. Be well! :-)
LOL! Good answer. I hope there's someone like you on the Board at the Citadel...It's quite one thing to keep your head down and ignore it, another to justify it and argue "She just didn't have what it takes," when said writer might well not have made it had HE had to go through that years ago. There's more to that Faludi piece than in that snippet...it was all I could find this morning on limited time. I read her book which is killer, BTW, in exploring different aspects of American masculinity. She described the culture at the Cit as being a bit 'homoerotic'...rituals the guys went through that weren't specifically gay, but had definitely gay overtones ;P
I just wonder how tolerant the Cit would have been had "CADET PINDICK" and "FUTURE TINY DICKTATOR" might have gone over had it ever appeared on Cit dorm doors. Or if someone invented a filk ditty (a 'filk' is what was done with that Candyman verse - taking a popular tune and rewriting the words) that the women sang whenever a cadet they didn't like walked by.
The US military tried to recruit me out of high school and there was no way I would have joined; I knew what they were like and at that point, with the Vietnam War less than 15 years behind us, I had plenty of evidence that they didn't support 'their boys', and I knew they wouldn't 'their girls'. Also, I would have gotten court-martialied for telling them how badly they were running that chicken outfit :)
I had a friend who went into the military who had a big thing for me; I never returned his feelings but we became good friends. I met him less than a week before he had to go to boot camp and he was depressed as hell; college was over and now Sheer Hell was about to start.
At Christmas he came to visit me and my family and he was Private Super Duper Mega Soldier Boy...and he made a career of the military, and retired last year. Never married.
Had we ever gotten together, i would have gotten HIM court martialed with my mouth :)
Point taken. But you can learn to navigate this. I was in the Army, one of the most misogynist boys clubs around. And, I not only survived but learned a few tricks and how to stand up for myself. Believe it or not, it is a known fact that within the Army, units that include female soldiers like support, medical, commo, admin, the men behave in a more civilized fashion. So, she needs to recruit a second female and/or learn how to clap back when they get out of line. Just a thought.
Oh, my friend sounded like she handled them like a pro. But, the environment shouldn't be permitted in the first place. The military is famously an institution that doesn't protect women, even to this day. I don't doubt it's a great place to learn how to stand up for yourself, but it's also a good place to get raped - happened to a veteran friend of mine, multiple times. And I don't know if you're old enough to remember Shannon Faulkner, the first female student at The Citadel....they destroyed her, and she'd already gone through a lot just to get in there.
Terribly sorry to hear this and I hope that your friend's perps were punished. And I am old enough to remember SF. Although at least one of her peers has a different take on that situation: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/shannon-faulkner-ruined-feminism-for-the-citadel Of course the harrassment, bullying, sexual assault and career-path sabotage shouldn't be allowed and some strides have been made although there is still much work to be done. But, for the women who have to blaze the trails to this equitable future, we have had to be strong and endure because that future doesn't exist now. And we have to deal with what is in front of us right now. I was suggesting a strategy for coping with the realities on the ground right now. Institutions are coming around but in the mean time, we have to learn to protect ourselves.
And, I would say your friend is not "locked" into an old boys network but chose to go there most likely knowing that there would be resistance. And, it sounds like she IS handling it. So, more power to her. She is a pioneer who is making it easier for those who come behind her. This is the same for many women in the military as well.
What a gawdawful article that is. 'Francis' is a misogynist pig and blames Shannon Faulkner for not having what it takes to put up with a helluva lot of shit from a bunch of misogynist pigs. On top of that, he then admits that female cadets have to work much, much harder even today because The Citadel is still a refuge for misogynist pigs who call it 'leadership building'. It's bloody unequal and unfair and it doesn't do a thing to move equity mindset forward. At least for the thirty women who came after the VMI fight, they had each other. Faulkner may have lacked some gumption but she also DID expend a lot of energy just to get in, and she scared the shit out of a bunch of misogynist pigs who are terrified of having to accept women as anything other than sexual objects. Oh, and that guy's such a man he doesn't even write this under his full name. What a pussy! Then again, what do you expect from an institution that's as terrified of vaginas as they are?
In Susan Faludi's book Stiffed (referred to here as 'just out' but it came out more than ten years ago), about American masculinity, there's a bit about Faulkner. Here's an excerpt of what she had to put up with to, I don't know, build 'leadership' or some bullshit:
https://cyber.harvard.edu/vaw00/Faulkner.html
I've had a low opinion of The Citadel since then, and you just reinforced it massively. This little wuss had it easy, since no one was 'testing' his leadership skills like they 'test' their female cadets. I'm with you on the need to be strong and endure - the world is an unfair place - but that doesn't mean we have to reinforce it by not challenging our own mindsets. Sounds like at the Citadel, that's only for women, not for the boys.
Not sure how to respond to this. I prefer not to be angry about that state of affairs in the military. I just tried to deal with things the best I could. Perhaps our perspectives differ because I was never accorded any respect as a child growing up so when I entered the military, and they treated me far better than my family, it was a win of a sort, in spite of bad boy behavior. And I learned to hold my own with the men to a certain degree.
Here's the thing - if you are a woman and you are breaching the portals of a spoiled boys club, you are going to face headwinds and harrassment. Getting pissed about it does nothing. Just put your head down and pursue your course and let the slings and arrows roll off your back. Barbara Walters said it best. She was asked in an interview how she survived the "Mad Men" era of 60s media. She said "I ignored it." This is powerful. And it's how I overcame child abuse and many other challenges in my life. I worked very hard not to allow the negatives to deter me or even consume my focus.
You create what you focus on. It's that simple.
Things are getting better, btw. There are thousands of organizations devoted to lifting women up and I am on the board of directors for one of them. This suits my philosophy - I would rather work to empower women than fight against men. This approach will get us further, faster. YMMV. Be well! :-)
LOL! Good answer. I hope there's someone like you on the Board at the Citadel...It's quite one thing to keep your head down and ignore it, another to justify it and argue "She just didn't have what it takes," when said writer might well not have made it had HE had to go through that years ago. There's more to that Faludi piece than in that snippet...it was all I could find this morning on limited time. I read her book which is killer, BTW, in exploring different aspects of American masculinity. She described the culture at the Cit as being a bit 'homoerotic'...rituals the guys went through that weren't specifically gay, but had definitely gay overtones ;P
I just wonder how tolerant the Cit would have been had "CADET PINDICK" and "FUTURE TINY DICKTATOR" might have gone over had it ever appeared on Cit dorm doors. Or if someone invented a filk ditty (a 'filk' is what was done with that Candyman verse - taking a popular tune and rewriting the words) that the women sang whenever a cadet they didn't like walked by.
The US military tried to recruit me out of high school and there was no way I would have joined; I knew what they were like and at that point, with the Vietnam War less than 15 years behind us, I had plenty of evidence that they didn't support 'their boys', and I knew they wouldn't 'their girls'. Also, I would have gotten court-martialied for telling them how badly they were running that chicken outfit :)
I had a friend who went into the military who had a big thing for me; I never returned his feelings but we became good friends. I met him less than a week before he had to go to boot camp and he was depressed as hell; college was over and now Sheer Hell was about to start.
At Christmas he came to visit me and my family and he was Private Super Duper Mega Soldier Boy...and he made a career of the military, and retired last year. Never married.
Had we ever gotten together, i would have gotten HIM court martialed with my mouth :)
I don't do misogynist institutions.
LOL. You are a pistol!