"Actually, sucking dick IS a viable 'option' for the male runaway"
😅Okay, we're talking about a *reeeeally* small group of people now. If this is what you're basing the idea that some women can't do anything but suck dick on, we'll probably just have to agree to disagree. I don't think we can pretend this is the path that most runaways g…
"Actually, sucking dick IS a viable 'option' for the male runaway"
😅Okay, we're talking about a *reeeeally* small group of people now. If this is what you're basing the idea that some women can't do anything but suck dick on, we'll probably just have to agree to disagree. I don't think we can pretend this is the path that most runaways go down. Male or female. But especially male.
And while I think prostitution (and particularly the men who use prostitues), is truly gross, I don't see any clear argument to end sex work. A lot more should be done to make sure the people engaging in it are safe and doing of their own free will. But as long as those conditions are met, my feelings are irrelevant. We can't inflict our morality on other people. That ends badly pretty much every time.
Again, I'm not arguing that porn doesn't have an impact on culture or on the sexual behaviour of men *and women.* I'm saying that porn is far from the only explanation for a particular fetish. Do you think, for example, men have foot fetishes because of porn? Or do they watch foot fetish porn because they have foot fetishes?
I've met lots of women who were into anal. Who requested it even though I'm broadly indifferent to it. And quite a few who were into *really* rough sex. Some, so rough it would shock you. This last category certainly wasn't a majority, but not a trivial number. All we have are our anecdotes, but I'm pretty sure I've slept with more women that you have.😄
As for my series on the mistakes women make, I've mentioned quite a few of them here. It's a mistake for women to pathologise men's sexuality or to assume that we're all porn addicts. It's a mistake to assume that because you don't like something sexually, "women" don't like it. It's a mistake to treat men as if we're a monolith (this is a really big one that I see in various forms all the time). It's a mistake to forget that men are just people and treat them with the same compassion and offer them the same benefit of the doubt that you do other women. It's a mistake to allow your worst dating experiences to colour your perception of all men.
Men make exactly these mistakes with women, of course. But I think one mistake that is often made by women is failing to really consider how different dating is for men. I hear "advice" from women all the time that men should follow. But many women don't have any real understanding of what it's like to date as a man if you're not in the top ~10% of attractiveness. They assume that the experience is somewhat similar and it's really not. In all kinds of ways. If you have fifteen minutes to spare, I'd highly recommend this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZTIbHIsIYw).
Not sure how really small the male runaway professional dick-suckers are, guys need money too, but I don't have the stats on that. I'd suspect it's somewhere north of 'reaaaaally small' but I don't know how much.
I don't see a good argument for ending sex work either, I've read books by women who seemed to really enjoy it and the Happy Hooker claimed she loved being paid to have sex. Hey, we get paid for use of our brains or hands or feet or whatever, why not our sex organs? I just want it to be a viable, at least somewhat more respectable profession, *regulated*, with protections for the women and the potential for arrest for any johns who get out of hand. I also want to see it taxed.
And I want to see better options for helping people to learn job skills that don't involve sex if that's not what floats their boat. I.e., desperate.
For the women you knew who liked really rough sex, anal, etc., I wonder (to myself, you don't have to answer this, it's personal) how old they were and whether they grew up with porn and had their tastes as shaped by what they thought sex was supposed to be. In the Dating Inferno book I read, the author pointed out the profiles claiming they like it rough et al may be because they say what it takes to get guys to like them. I think I mentioned that before but I can't remember. MADBS (Middle-Aged Dumb Blonde Syndrome ;) You may not even know that answer yourself.
I'm just going to reply to the video for now, the rest of it later when I have more time (I don't disagree with you much). WOW! That was an awesome, eye-opening video! I just bookmarked it so I can go back and read the comments to better understand the men's perspective. I was on Tinder for about a half a day when it first launched and I uninstalled it because it was a HUGE energy suck on my mobile. Before I did I checked to see who had swiped on me and it was like fucking EVERYBODY. And I was a 49-year-old woman, perhaps the oldest on the site. And I was getting all these young guys. Now, I *can* get younger men, and I'm not averse to that, but not guys under 30. Like guys in their mid-to-late twenties had wiped I don't know, whichever way was a match. And I was like, seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? And I realized they were just swiping right, I think it was, on everyone. I figured they were just maximizing their opps to get laid and I'm not sure I wasn't wrong; Tinder has notoriously been a hookup app, and I think that was the one Nancy Jo Sales used in her book on dating apps I read (turned it into a great Medium article that got some claps and comments). She is a year younger than I and like me, still pretty decent-looking for her age.
Now I'm beginning to understand the 'throwing spaghetti at the wall' thing you always seem to get from guys. I wonder - maybe someone else can answer this? - how much you really can put on your profile. Good photos are always helpful, but when I've been on dating apps (I never went back to Tinder because of its rep) I've always been aggravated by the lack of anything else - just the basic questions answered about looks - hair colour, eye colour, height, weight - and nothing about who they are, what they like, what they're looking for. It's a bummer because I *do* want to know that stuff. And I know guys don't read profiles because many have said they don't, esp when I said, "You'd know the answer to that if you'd read my profile." "I don't read profiles." I tried making my profiles really funny to encourage them to read, and that helped a bit, also it showed my sass and personality, but I also would stick something really weird but non-threatening in it that they would surely comment on ("Do you really have a pet gila monster?" "No, I just wanted to see who actually read that far!")
I wonder if more niche-oriented sites are better for men who aren't Ryan Reynolds (who frankly I think is nice-looking but I honestly don't think I'd swipe right on him if I saw someone like him on an app, he's not all that and a bag of chips). I've considered it myself, to try and eliminate a lot of the dross. Lately I've been wondering if there are guys who are minimalist I could meet as I'm nearing retirement and won't have tons of money to retire on but I don't need tons, I lead a simple life and aren't much materialistic and have already done a lot of my traveling - which is a lot more expensive now.
This really is worth delving into more. I'm off for the next two days as I do sales work and all my campaigns are US-based and I'm looking forward to the four-day weekend, having done Thanksgiving this past weekend with my bro and his fam. Tomorrow morning the comments of that video will be my breakfast reading, just as the video was this morning. Thanks for this fantastic look into what it's like for men. Wow. Just Wow!
Hey! I'm glad you found it interesting. Yeah, this is just the tip of the iceberg really. The comments on that video are quite funny, and go into more detail about how common those experiences (and worse) are. But yeah, as I said, male/female dating/romantic experiences are so different. And both men and women make the mistake of judging the other's behaviour by their experiences.
When I look at an account like tinder nightmares, for example, I'm as horrified/bewildered as anybody else by the grossness and idiocy I see there. But I can also understand how the frustration and depression that the girl in the video talks about (bear in mind this was only her pretend life for five days) drives some guys to just think "f**k it" because they assume they'll be rejected in the end anyway.
It's one of the many reasons I've never gone anywhere near dating apps. I try as hard as possible to keep my faith in humanity intact.😄
I didn't know what Tinder Nightmares was; I Googled it & found it's a book, a YouTube series and an Instagram account. I'll look for it on Insta but did you read the book? Was it any good?
I met my wife 19 years ago online. Since then, the apps have become even more vicious with simple swipes and low quality interactions that do not lead to investment in another person. The basic way to find good interactions has not changed. Do not out-pace others in your willingness to communicate. Those who are looking for more than an easy lay will put little effort into it. Those seeking a conversation must be immediately willing to read your profile. Even as a male, I would recognize females with lots of questions about me but revealing only a few superficial things about themselves. They were looking for a stranger to entertain them, and they had not intent of making any investment. I too soon gave them no time and stopped answering their questions. You can easily filter those willing to mutually invest from the many that are not. Good luck!
"Actually, sucking dick IS a viable 'option' for the male runaway"
😅Okay, we're talking about a *reeeeally* small group of people now. If this is what you're basing the idea that some women can't do anything but suck dick on, we'll probably just have to agree to disagree. I don't think we can pretend this is the path that most runaways go down. Male or female. But especially male.
And while I think prostitution (and particularly the men who use prostitues), is truly gross, I don't see any clear argument to end sex work. A lot more should be done to make sure the people engaging in it are safe and doing of their own free will. But as long as those conditions are met, my feelings are irrelevant. We can't inflict our morality on other people. That ends badly pretty much every time.
Again, I'm not arguing that porn doesn't have an impact on culture or on the sexual behaviour of men *and women.* I'm saying that porn is far from the only explanation for a particular fetish. Do you think, for example, men have foot fetishes because of porn? Or do they watch foot fetish porn because they have foot fetishes?
I've met lots of women who were into anal. Who requested it even though I'm broadly indifferent to it. And quite a few who were into *really* rough sex. Some, so rough it would shock you. This last category certainly wasn't a majority, but not a trivial number. All we have are our anecdotes, but I'm pretty sure I've slept with more women that you have.😄
As for my series on the mistakes women make, I've mentioned quite a few of them here. It's a mistake for women to pathologise men's sexuality or to assume that we're all porn addicts. It's a mistake to assume that because you don't like something sexually, "women" don't like it. It's a mistake to treat men as if we're a monolith (this is a really big one that I see in various forms all the time). It's a mistake to forget that men are just people and treat them with the same compassion and offer them the same benefit of the doubt that you do other women. It's a mistake to allow your worst dating experiences to colour your perception of all men.
Men make exactly these mistakes with women, of course. But I think one mistake that is often made by women is failing to really consider how different dating is for men. I hear "advice" from women all the time that men should follow. But many women don't have any real understanding of what it's like to date as a man if you're not in the top ~10% of attractiveness. They assume that the experience is somewhat similar and it's really not. In all kinds of ways. If you have fifteen minutes to spare, I'd highly recommend this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZTIbHIsIYw).
Not sure how really small the male runaway professional dick-suckers are, guys need money too, but I don't have the stats on that. I'd suspect it's somewhere north of 'reaaaaally small' but I don't know how much.
I don't see a good argument for ending sex work either, I've read books by women who seemed to really enjoy it and the Happy Hooker claimed she loved being paid to have sex. Hey, we get paid for use of our brains or hands or feet or whatever, why not our sex organs? I just want it to be a viable, at least somewhat more respectable profession, *regulated*, with protections for the women and the potential for arrest for any johns who get out of hand. I also want to see it taxed.
And I want to see better options for helping people to learn job skills that don't involve sex if that's not what floats their boat. I.e., desperate.
For the women you knew who liked really rough sex, anal, etc., I wonder (to myself, you don't have to answer this, it's personal) how old they were and whether they grew up with porn and had their tastes as shaped by what they thought sex was supposed to be. In the Dating Inferno book I read, the author pointed out the profiles claiming they like it rough et al may be because they say what it takes to get guys to like them. I think I mentioned that before but I can't remember. MADBS (Middle-Aged Dumb Blonde Syndrome ;) You may not even know that answer yourself.
I'm just going to reply to the video for now, the rest of it later when I have more time (I don't disagree with you much). WOW! That was an awesome, eye-opening video! I just bookmarked it so I can go back and read the comments to better understand the men's perspective. I was on Tinder for about a half a day when it first launched and I uninstalled it because it was a HUGE energy suck on my mobile. Before I did I checked to see who had swiped on me and it was like fucking EVERYBODY. And I was a 49-year-old woman, perhaps the oldest on the site. And I was getting all these young guys. Now, I *can* get younger men, and I'm not averse to that, but not guys under 30. Like guys in their mid-to-late twenties had wiped I don't know, whichever way was a match. And I was like, seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? And I realized they were just swiping right, I think it was, on everyone. I figured they were just maximizing their opps to get laid and I'm not sure I wasn't wrong; Tinder has notoriously been a hookup app, and I think that was the one Nancy Jo Sales used in her book on dating apps I read (turned it into a great Medium article that got some claps and comments). She is a year younger than I and like me, still pretty decent-looking for her age.
Now I'm beginning to understand the 'throwing spaghetti at the wall' thing you always seem to get from guys. I wonder - maybe someone else can answer this? - how much you really can put on your profile. Good photos are always helpful, but when I've been on dating apps (I never went back to Tinder because of its rep) I've always been aggravated by the lack of anything else - just the basic questions answered about looks - hair colour, eye colour, height, weight - and nothing about who they are, what they like, what they're looking for. It's a bummer because I *do* want to know that stuff. And I know guys don't read profiles because many have said they don't, esp when I said, "You'd know the answer to that if you'd read my profile." "I don't read profiles." I tried making my profiles really funny to encourage them to read, and that helped a bit, also it showed my sass and personality, but I also would stick something really weird but non-threatening in it that they would surely comment on ("Do you really have a pet gila monster?" "No, I just wanted to see who actually read that far!")
I wonder if more niche-oriented sites are better for men who aren't Ryan Reynolds (who frankly I think is nice-looking but I honestly don't think I'd swipe right on him if I saw someone like him on an app, he's not all that and a bag of chips). I've considered it myself, to try and eliminate a lot of the dross. Lately I've been wondering if there are guys who are minimalist I could meet as I'm nearing retirement and won't have tons of money to retire on but I don't need tons, I lead a simple life and aren't much materialistic and have already done a lot of my traveling - which is a lot more expensive now.
This really is worth delving into more. I'm off for the next two days as I do sales work and all my campaigns are US-based and I'm looking forward to the four-day weekend, having done Thanksgiving this past weekend with my bro and his fam. Tomorrow morning the comments of that video will be my breakfast reading, just as the video was this morning. Thanks for this fantastic look into what it's like for men. Wow. Just Wow!
Hey! I'm glad you found it interesting. Yeah, this is just the tip of the iceberg really. The comments on that video are quite funny, and go into more detail about how common those experiences (and worse) are. But yeah, as I said, male/female dating/romantic experiences are so different. And both men and women make the mistake of judging the other's behaviour by their experiences.
When I look at an account like tinder nightmares, for example, I'm as horrified/bewildered as anybody else by the grossness and idiocy I see there. But I can also understand how the frustration and depression that the girl in the video talks about (bear in mind this was only her pretend life for five days) drives some guys to just think "f**k it" because they assume they'll be rejected in the end anyway.
It's one of the many reasons I've never gone anywhere near dating apps. I try as hard as possible to keep my faith in humanity intact.😄
I didn't know what Tinder Nightmares was; I Googled it & found it's a book, a YouTube series and an Instagram account. I'll look for it on Insta but did you read the book? Was it any good?
Oh, I didn't know they had a book. I've just seen the Instagram account. Equal parts hilarious and depressing.
I met my wife 19 years ago online. Since then, the apps have become even more vicious with simple swipes and low quality interactions that do not lead to investment in another person. The basic way to find good interactions has not changed. Do not out-pace others in your willingness to communicate. Those who are looking for more than an easy lay will put little effort into it. Those seeking a conversation must be immediately willing to read your profile. Even as a male, I would recognize females with lots of questions about me but revealing only a few superficial things about themselves. They were looking for a stranger to entertain them, and they had not intent of making any investment. I too soon gave them no time and stopped answering their questions. You can easily filter those willing to mutually invest from the many that are not. Good luck!