Most men aren't like those described by Julie or Amber. Most men care and respect women. Most men have to deal with the same assholes from a different perspective because most men who taunt and harass women also taunt and harass men - it's in their nature. So most men are tired of the years/decades of deflecting alpha BS directed at ever…
Most men aren't like those described by Julie or Amber. Most men care and respect women. Most men have to deal with the same assholes from a different perspective because most men who taunt and harass women also taunt and harass men - it's in their nature. So most men are tired of the years/decades of deflecting alpha BS directed at every male of the species. So maybe, and I'm just saying maybe that's why they didn't rise to the occasion when witnessing someone woman being harassed. They suffer from Alpha Male Fatigue. Living a life in a hypervigilant state sucks. With that said I too am sorry for whatever Julie or Amber or any women might go through with men. It's what happens when men have too dominant a role in society and "make the rules" and why women need to be equal partners. Women are a modifying factor in life - all of life - and without their input, without their compassion, ALL men suffer. That's how this whole f**king system is set up - it's interactive and interdependent. We all need to change. But I differ from you Steve in one way - It would be Haagen Dazs chocolate chocolate chip.
"But I differ from you Steve in one way - It would be Haagen Dazs chocolate chocolate chip."
Heresy!😁
I agree with all of this. But I think there's an even simpler reason why men don't rise to the occasion when they see a woman being harassed; most men, like most women, are agreeable and don't know how to fight and are afraid to risk getting beaten up.
It's interesting how these conversations (I'm actually having a similar but far longer conversation in the comments of an article at the moment) flip between saying men need to intervene in potentially violent situations and saying men need to be less violent and aggressive.
Most men *aren't* violent or aggressive. Which means they're enormously less likely to intervene. Because the instinct to fight, even if to protect somebody, requires a genuine readiness to commit violence. It's way harder than most people who have never been in a fight think.
The fear of actual confrontation is real. Ironically, those who have experienced violence and eventually fought back may be more fearless in defending someone being harassed. I speak from the experience of a child in an extremely strange and violent home (mother) who became a teenager who fought back and eventuality a young person who allowed no one to violate me or anyone I was associated with. No fear.
I agree that is an underlying element. Real violence is traumatic. We see so much of it on TV or video games that we seriously underestimate what it is. I mean, look at soldiers returning from Iraq, Vietnam etc., who were traumatized but "not wounded." What, about 90% of them. I knew men back in Brooklyn during my "youth" who could break bones with one punch. Not fun, not easy to confront. So, yeah, there is a reluctance to wade in, fists flying. Not sure what that fine line is between action and common sense reluctance - it's there somewhere. Good points. Question: Have you actually tried Haagen Dazs chocolate, chocolate chip? 😁
I can speak to putting your body on the line to help others escape violence. I have been used by stranger women to escape aggressive men and eaten fists for it. I have told guys who wanted to fight in a small transport that they would both be fighting me too and to wait until others are not captive to their poor choice. Even when somebody broke into my apartment at 2AM, I only had their life in my hands long enough to surmise they were not a threat to me, and I soothingly calmed them with no unnecessary intimidations while we waited peacefully for the police to arrive. I have no desire to have power over others. I never intimidated or started fights, and I put my body on the line to quickly end them.
I was going to write far more than I will here, but I realized the end game is straightforward. Protective men get recruited by would-be spouses who want to be mothers. They need us to re-target our energies away from 'thugs in Gotham at night' to our babies at home. Batman could never be married nor have a family. His spouse would not have put up with that.
Peacekeepers are usually single men still roaming Gotham. They are highly visible to single women seeking a partner which which to become a mother. Those attractive peace makers face growing ranks of disgruntled, single, thugs. As long as women find peacekeeping men attractive, we will be pulled away from the fray. My softening knuckles are moving over this keyboard a few feet away from my kids and my wife. I belong here and not in the streets looking to balance thugs.
While I understand your sentiments - I wasn't selling any viewpoint. I personally have experienced alpha male fatigue and it is real to me, even if it isn't real to anyone else. I have observed a greater percentage of good men than bad men - but my circumstances, my geography over the past 60+ years are different than yours or anyone else. I am sorry you suffered any male violence - many have - including myself. Been bullied, slapped, punched it goes with the territory. But in the end it's not a contest, Best if bad is eliminated, wherever, whenever.
Most men aren't like those described by Julie or Amber. Most men care and respect women. Most men have to deal with the same assholes from a different perspective because most men who taunt and harass women also taunt and harass men - it's in their nature. So most men are tired of the years/decades of deflecting alpha BS directed at every male of the species. So maybe, and I'm just saying maybe that's why they didn't rise to the occasion when witnessing someone woman being harassed. They suffer from Alpha Male Fatigue. Living a life in a hypervigilant state sucks. With that said I too am sorry for whatever Julie or Amber or any women might go through with men. It's what happens when men have too dominant a role in society and "make the rules" and why women need to be equal partners. Women are a modifying factor in life - all of life - and without their input, without their compassion, ALL men suffer. That's how this whole f**king system is set up - it's interactive and interdependent. We all need to change. But I differ from you Steve in one way - It would be Haagen Dazs chocolate chocolate chip.
"But I differ from you Steve in one way - It would be Haagen Dazs chocolate chocolate chip."
Heresy!😁
I agree with all of this. But I think there's an even simpler reason why men don't rise to the occasion when they see a woman being harassed; most men, like most women, are agreeable and don't know how to fight and are afraid to risk getting beaten up.
It's interesting how these conversations (I'm actually having a similar but far longer conversation in the comments of an article at the moment) flip between saying men need to intervene in potentially violent situations and saying men need to be less violent and aggressive.
Most men *aren't* violent or aggressive. Which means they're enormously less likely to intervene. Because the instinct to fight, even if to protect somebody, requires a genuine readiness to commit violence. It's way harder than most people who have never been in a fight think.
The fear of actual confrontation is real. Ironically, those who have experienced violence and eventually fought back may be more fearless in defending someone being harassed. I speak from the experience of a child in an extremely strange and violent home (mother) who became a teenager who fought back and eventuality a young person who allowed no one to violate me or anyone I was associated with. No fear.
I agree that is an underlying element. Real violence is traumatic. We see so much of it on TV or video games that we seriously underestimate what it is. I mean, look at soldiers returning from Iraq, Vietnam etc., who were traumatized but "not wounded." What, about 90% of them. I knew men back in Brooklyn during my "youth" who could break bones with one punch. Not fun, not easy to confront. So, yeah, there is a reluctance to wade in, fists flying. Not sure what that fine line is between action and common sense reluctance - it's there somewhere. Good points. Question: Have you actually tried Haagen Dazs chocolate, chocolate chip? 😁
I can speak to putting your body on the line to help others escape violence. I have been used by stranger women to escape aggressive men and eaten fists for it. I have told guys who wanted to fight in a small transport that they would both be fighting me too and to wait until others are not captive to their poor choice. Even when somebody broke into my apartment at 2AM, I only had their life in my hands long enough to surmise they were not a threat to me, and I soothingly calmed them with no unnecessary intimidations while we waited peacefully for the police to arrive. I have no desire to have power over others. I never intimidated or started fights, and I put my body on the line to quickly end them.
I was going to write far more than I will here, but I realized the end game is straightforward. Protective men get recruited by would-be spouses who want to be mothers. They need us to re-target our energies away from 'thugs in Gotham at night' to our babies at home. Batman could never be married nor have a family. His spouse would not have put up with that.
Peacekeepers are usually single men still roaming Gotham. They are highly visible to single women seeking a partner which which to become a mother. Those attractive peace makers face growing ranks of disgruntled, single, thugs. As long as women find peacekeeping men attractive, we will be pulled away from the fray. My softening knuckles are moving over this keyboard a few feet away from my kids and my wife. I belong here and not in the streets looking to balance thugs.
While I understand your sentiments - I wasn't selling any viewpoint. I personally have experienced alpha male fatigue and it is real to me, even if it isn't real to anyone else. I have observed a greater percentage of good men than bad men - but my circumstances, my geography over the past 60+ years are different than yours or anyone else. I am sorry you suffered any male violence - many have - including myself. Been bullied, slapped, punched it goes with the territory. But in the end it's not a contest, Best if bad is eliminated, wherever, whenever.