“For trans people, it takes enormous amounts of energy to pretend to identify with their assigned gender at birth. So, the extra energy it takes to transition and push others to respect our pronouns is usually worth it. Especially the latter when we are surrounded by people who don’t requi…
“For trans people, it takes enormous amounts of energy to pretend to identify with their assigned gender at birth. So, the extra energy it takes to transition and push others to respect our pronouns is usually worth it. Especially the latter when we are surrounded by people who don’t require any convincing.”
It seems to me that it must surely take more effort to endless lecture people on what your pronouns are, be offended every time someone sees you as what you visibly are and spend an inordinate amount of time responding to threads online justifying the minutiae of you specific take on being non-binary (which is apparently different to everyone else’s, so has to be explained individual by individual), rather than simply being yourself and not caring what people think of you. Is this a Gen X vs. Gen Z thing I wonder?
The irony , of course, is that she talks about only really feeling accepted enough to be herself around other non-binary people who accept her pronouns and identity, which implies that if she didn’t have those pronouns and that identity (which function as a kind of barrier) and was simply herself from the start, she might be able to be accepted by a much wider group of people. I’m thinking out loud…
Yep, the whole thing is so weird to me. When she says "pretend to identify with," the only way I can make it make sense is if she means "conform to the stereotypes of." But it's as if she just can't understand that she doesn't have to. Or that the vast majority of people don't "identify" with their "assigned gender."
Yes, rejecting societal expectations will inevitably generate some friction. But as you say, endlessly lecturing people about your personal interpretation of gender roles and your place within them seems like it must generate so much more!
Stereotypes generally come from observation. The question is how much of observed gender stereotypes comes from biological tendencies and how much is from conformance to expectation. As with my views on most things, there is some ratio.
I suspect there is also a power dynamic ingredient, rooted in historical and biological legacies. The ‘dominant’ will exude certain qualities to maintain its position, whilst the ‘submissive’ will exude others that reinforce their lack of threat to the ‘dominant’. It plays out sexually in really obvious ways but I think it’s coded into so much more too.
Feels like the logical conclusion to Gen Z’s obsession with Intersectionality. Victims are bestowed the most social capital and therefore victim-status is incentivised. If you’re a middle-class, white girl, for example. What hope have you got unless you create a victim-status for yourself? In this context it works kinda like a reverse Maslow hierarchy of needs, with the most privileged in society becoming the most needy. For some reason, I’m always reminded of my first-aid training: in the aftermath of an accident, don’t to the person screaming first, go to the one making no noise.
Fascinating. I was also intrigued by her phrase:
“For trans people, it takes enormous amounts of energy to pretend to identify with their assigned gender at birth. So, the extra energy it takes to transition and push others to respect our pronouns is usually worth it. Especially the latter when we are surrounded by people who don’t require any convincing.”
It seems to me that it must surely take more effort to endless lecture people on what your pronouns are, be offended every time someone sees you as what you visibly are and spend an inordinate amount of time responding to threads online justifying the minutiae of you specific take on being non-binary (which is apparently different to everyone else’s, so has to be explained individual by individual), rather than simply being yourself and not caring what people think of you. Is this a Gen X vs. Gen Z thing I wonder?
The irony , of course, is that she talks about only really feeling accepted enough to be herself around other non-binary people who accept her pronouns and identity, which implies that if she didn’t have those pronouns and that identity (which function as a kind of barrier) and was simply herself from the start, she might be able to be accepted by a much wider group of people. I’m thinking out loud…
Yep, the whole thing is so weird to me. When she says "pretend to identify with," the only way I can make it make sense is if she means "conform to the stereotypes of." But it's as if she just can't understand that she doesn't have to. Or that the vast majority of people don't "identify" with their "assigned gender."
Yes, rejecting societal expectations will inevitably generate some friction. But as you say, endlessly lecturing people about your personal interpretation of gender roles and your place within them seems like it must generate so much more!
Stereotypes generally come from observation. The question is how much of observed gender stereotypes comes from biological tendencies and how much is from conformance to expectation. As with my views on most things, there is some ratio.
I suspect there is also a power dynamic ingredient, rooted in historical and biological legacies. The ‘dominant’ will exude certain qualities to maintain its position, whilst the ‘submissive’ will exude others that reinforce their lack of threat to the ‘dominant’. It plays out sexually in really obvious ways but I think it’s coded into so much more too.
Some of that too, but I think that the idea of power is given more sway that it deserves.
I think You've got the right of it. Would be interested to know if this is a Boomer/Gen X vs. Gen Z thingie.
Feels like the logical conclusion to Gen Z’s obsession with Intersectionality. Victims are bestowed the most social capital and therefore victim-status is incentivised. If you’re a middle-class, white girl, for example. What hope have you got unless you create a victim-status for yourself? In this context it works kinda like a reverse Maslow hierarchy of needs, with the most privileged in society becoming the most needy. For some reason, I’m always reminded of my first-aid training: in the aftermath of an accident, don’t to the person screaming first, go to the one making no noise.
Very good. TY for Your reply, T. Blood.