4 Comments
User's avatar
â­  Return to thread
Steve QJ's avatar

Yep, the whole thing is so weird to me. When she says "pretend to identify with," the only way I can make it make sense is if she means "conform to the stereotypes of." But it's as if she just can't understand that she doesn't have to. Or that the vast majority of people don't "identify" with their "assigned gender."

Yes, rejecting societal expectations will inevitably generate some friction. But as you say, endlessly lecturing people about your personal interpretation of gender roles and your place within them seems like it must generate so much more!

Expand full comment
Peaceful Dave's avatar

Stereotypes generally come from observation. The question is how much of observed gender stereotypes comes from biological tendencies and how much is from conformance to expectation. As with my views on most things, there is some ratio.

Expand full comment
T.Blood's avatar

I suspect there is also a power dynamic ingredient, rooted in historical and biological legacies. The ‘dominant’ will exude certain qualities to maintain its position, whilst the ‘submissive’ will exude others that reinforce their lack of threat to the ‘dominant’. It plays out sexually in really obvious ways but I think it’s coded into so much more too.

Expand full comment
Peaceful Dave's avatar

Some of that too, but I think that the idea of power is given more sway that it deserves.

Expand full comment