Now, I’m Gonna Go Back Over Here And Mind My OWN Business
As our cultural obsession with identity has waxed, our ability to talk to each other has waned.
The price of a misplaced word is too high. The conceit of “lived experience” is too stifling. The pressure to “stay in your lane” is too pervasive. It’s easier and safer to keep your mouth shut. And this leaves the floor open for the most unreasonable, toxic voices on a given issue.
In my article, Trans Activism’s Self-Inflicted Backlash, I wrote about how toxic and unreasonable trans activism has become. I wrote about the misogyny and reality denial that has infected trans discourse. And I wrote about the backlash that could have been so easily avoided with a little peace, love and understanding.
Charles wasn’t convinced that understanding was necessary.
Charles:
The problem here is the perceived notion that opinions are valid and necessary. Also that something must be “understood” by outside opinions for it to be considered valid.
That’s the mindset that allows men to believe they have the right to govern women’s reproductive rights or white men to decide who gets to vote and who doesn’t.
Your opinion has no bearing on another’s reality just as the reverse is true. So this whole conversation needs to be shut down with a hearty “whodafuqizyu?!”
Now, I’m gonna go back over here and mind my OWN business because I believe in leading by example.
Steve QJ:
“Now, I’m gonna go back over here and mind my OWN business because I believe in leading by example.”
Ah yes, the people who “mind their own business” when they see a problem. How kindly history looks upon those brave, compassionate souls.
The right to vote? Women's reproductive rights? Gay marriage? Segregation? Where would we be without those upstanding people who shrugged their shoulders and said, “welp, that looks like a 'them' problem.”
I’d rather be wrong than a coward, thanks. And, genuinely, I realise that I might be. But if I am wrong, millions of other people are also wrong. Not out of malice, but out of a genuine inability to understand the things that are being demanded of them. And some of them have the power to, for instance, pass laws banning trans healthcare.
I'm so frustrated, though no longer surprised, by the shortsightedness and narcissism that surrounds this debate. I don't think my opinion affects another person's reality. Obviously not. I'm saying that for people who are paying even a little bit of attention there are serious real world implications, for trans people and non trans people alike, for how we all handle this moment.
Charles:
You missed my point entirely. YOU are the one in the equation creating the problem by feeling you need to have an opinion. If we leave people alone who are IN NO WAY affecting our own lives we don't have these issues.
I know you'll disagree and probably write a much too long response that I again won't read. But my point still remains.
Peace.
Steve QJ:
“You missed my point entirely. YOU are the one in the equation creating the problem by feeling you need to have an opinion.”
No, I didn’t miss your point. It’s just that your point was stupid and cowardly and I thought I’d point that out for you.
And I am not creating a problem. I'm pointing to a problem. Are you really incapable of seeing the difference??
I care about many issues that don’t directly affect me. Partly because I’m capable of basic empathy and partly because I think standing up for what’s right is important. In the immortal words of Martin Luther King, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
The fact that you feel differently is fine. But then I’m confused about why you feel the need the weigh in at all. Just continue minding your own business I guess?
Also, if you didn't read my response, how do you know I missed your point? Ah, okay, you're just a liar.
I’m so spectacularly done with this idea that it’s courageous or virtuous to “mind your own business.”
Not only because it’s usually just cowardice, but because we owe the resolution of some of our most pressing social issues to people who didn’t mind their own business.
As a white man living in 1800s Missouri, Elijah Lovejoy could certainly have minded his own business when it came to civil rights. Instead, he risked (and eventually lost) his life fighting to end slavery.
As a young, world-champion boxer, Mohammed Ali could certainly have minded his business when it came to Vietnam. Instead, he sacrificed everything to oppose what he felt was an unjust war.
As a lifelong feminist, Cassie Jane could certainly have minded her own business when it came to talking about men’s rights. Instead, she staked her career and reputation on the belief that men’s and women’s issues aren’t a zero-sum game.
It doesn’t matter whether you agree with these people or not (though hopefully we can all agree on the first one). The point is, people with principles move us forward. People with integrity inspire us to be better. People who speak up when they see problems, even problems that don’t directly affect them, start conversations that matter.
As I said to Charles, there’s nothing wrong with recognising that you’re not educated enough, or just not invested enough to take a position on some issues. There’s nothing wrong with conserving your energy or picking your battles.
But if the battle you want to pick is telling other people not to care, maybe you should mind your own business instead.
Whether men are allowed into women's spaces *is* my business. Whether a 'trans woman' dresses in women's clothes and wears makeup is not my business.
The 21st Century Social "Justice" Warriors want you to think "it's easier and safer to keep your mouth shut." "Positionality," "lived experience," etc. are just fancy terms for "shut up."
When taking the "easier and safer" path becomes the prevailing view, literally everything valuable will quickly go to complete shit.