So, riffing off your comments PGBR, I feel an internal conflict. On the one hand, I believe we need to allow for our sense of belonging to one or other tribe, yet do I also look to the need to practice empathy with "the others." In practical and highly pragmatic terms, practicing empathy will allow a negotiator to get a better deal. It c…
So, riffing off your comments PGBR, I feel an internal conflict. On the one hand, I believe we need to allow for our sense of belonging to one or other tribe, yet do I also look to the need to practice empathy with "the others." In practical and highly pragmatic terms, practicing empathy will allow a negotiator to get a better deal. It can help make better products, improve design and customer service with customers. It also allows a sociopath to better control the victim. And on the 'tribe' front, it's worth noting that there exists a Close Communication Bias, where the people with whom you are closest, you may hear the least. For example, you cut them off and finish their sentences. The result is that the other doesn't feel heard. In any event, going back to my conflict, I feel we need to allow for the sensation of belonging ... to a tribe, a family, a group. If we are forced to love everyone everywhere all the time, we will not succeed. Life is strategic (time and resources are limited) and we have, therefore, to make choices. AND at the same time, this doesn't preclude an ability to reach out to strangers that don't look like us, listen deeply to the opposing sides of a debate... and reach across the aisle to recognize that some of their arguments and positions may well be better than your own... A messy line, but the one I'm keen to explore.
I can see a function for tribal empathy and for universal empathy. However, I believe that at this point in history, at least in my country, tribalism is both already dysfunctionally high and increasing, so I do not think it needs to be further enhanced; we are in desperate need for re-affirming our commonalities and reducing our us-vs-them mentality.
I will point out another facet of empathy, which I came across in a book on Bonobos long ago. Empathy is required for deception - one has to put oneself in the mind of another in order to know how to deceive them. One example of empathy was getting the keeper's attention when another bonobo was in the zoo moat at the time when water was being returned after cleaning. But another was a bonobo seen on video to observe that a lab assistant had not fully closed a door, but suppressing their reaction until the assistant had left, so as not to give away that fact. Any con man needs to be able to put themselves in the mind of their victims, in order to be effective.
So, riffing off your comments PGBR, I feel an internal conflict. On the one hand, I believe we need to allow for our sense of belonging to one or other tribe, yet do I also look to the need to practice empathy with "the others." In practical and highly pragmatic terms, practicing empathy will allow a negotiator to get a better deal. It can help make better products, improve design and customer service with customers. It also allows a sociopath to better control the victim. And on the 'tribe' front, it's worth noting that there exists a Close Communication Bias, where the people with whom you are closest, you may hear the least. For example, you cut them off and finish their sentences. The result is that the other doesn't feel heard. In any event, going back to my conflict, I feel we need to allow for the sensation of belonging ... to a tribe, a family, a group. If we are forced to love everyone everywhere all the time, we will not succeed. Life is strategic (time and resources are limited) and we have, therefore, to make choices. AND at the same time, this doesn't preclude an ability to reach out to strangers that don't look like us, listen deeply to the opposing sides of a debate... and reach across the aisle to recognize that some of their arguments and positions may well be better than your own... A messy line, but the one I'm keen to explore.
I can see a function for tribal empathy and for universal empathy. However, I believe that at this point in history, at least in my country, tribalism is both already dysfunctionally high and increasing, so I do not think it needs to be further enhanced; we are in desperate need for re-affirming our commonalities and reducing our us-vs-them mentality.
I will point out another facet of empathy, which I came across in a book on Bonobos long ago. Empathy is required for deception - one has to put oneself in the mind of another in order to know how to deceive them. One example of empathy was getting the keeper's attention when another bonobo was in the zoo moat at the time when water was being returned after cleaning. But another was a bonobo seen on video to observe that a lab assistant had not fully closed a door, but suppressing their reaction until the assistant had left, so as not to give away that fact. Any con man needs to be able to put themselves in the mind of their victims, in order to be effective.
Empathy, in the wrong hands...