I detect some annoyance in your tone, and I suppose the way I expressed my arguments made you think I was accusing you of stuff. I'm not. We are both arguing against over permissive regulations for trans inclusion, great! I guess I thought I could be angry and bitch about this, as someone who is not allowed to refer at herself with her o…
I detect some annoyance in your tone, and I suppose the way I expressed my arguments made you think I was accusing you of stuff. I'm not. We are both arguing against over permissive regulations for trans inclusion, great! I guess I thought I could be angry and bitch about this, as someone who is not allowed to refer at herself with her own language, and who is now a subsection of her own sex category (cis and trans, right?). And of course I shared toilets with transgender women, I am even friends with a few. They are perfectly reasonable, and understand all of our concerns, including why I hate to call them women (I also commiserate when they say they hate NOT to be called women; in some ways, though, women instinctively know that once you have allowed that degree of impersonation, their complete erasure is just a matter of time - call it "surviving instinct"). They also understand how much of a slippery slope this whole issue has become, from erasing women as a sex category in law, to allowing males to dominate women's sports, to the self-ID madness. So we are on the same page, all good. Keep doing what you do.
“I guess I thought I could be angry and bitch about this, as someone who is not allowed to refer at herself with her own language, and who is now a subsection of her own sex category (cis and trans, right?)”
Yeah exactly. Of course, you have every right to be angry. I’m angry! But it sounded as if you were angry with *me*, or assuming I was ignorant because I “don’t deal with this every day.”
Actually, as it’s my name on the articles I write, I do deal with abuse very regularly. The amount of racism in my comments and especially DMs is a sight to behold. And I’m also risking a chunk of my income writing about it. Medium has banned many writers for saying anything that isn’t wholly pro-trans.
So yeah, I guess I just didn’t appreciate what I took to be an implication that I don’t care as much. Or that I haven’t thought about the issues carefully. I’m a man, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care deeply about this issue.
I acknowledge that some of us are deeply emotional about this and we can come across as unreasonable and even abusive. How can we not? Heck, my own son went to college with his reason intact, and came back home after one semester chanting slogans and telling me to stop being "obsessive" about "this shit" because "transwomen just want to pee". I tried to have a conversation with him based on logic only (who can???), and we agreed that "gender" was invented to keep women in their place (usually kitchen and bedroom), and that "gender doesn't exist", but "sex" does (as in "there are immutable biological differences between females and males"), but all went dramatically south from there! Because as soon as I said "in this case what does 'transgender' mean, since gender doesn't exist? How does one transition from one gender to another without reinforcing the idea that there are two genders, and they are not expressing sexual differences, but superficial ideas we have about women and men? (based on logic, right????)" he declared this "line of questioning" transphobic and retreated to his bedroom. He doesn't do that for absolutely anything else. It is frightening to see young people become cultish, and when they are your own children it feels like the world is going to implode tomorrow.
But, anyway, I diverge again. I am sure you get a lot of racist shit thrown at you, and I really appreciate the fact that you keep pushing the limit on conversations about the important issues (all of them, not only this one)! You need to understand that you have more admirers than detractors, but alas most of them are silent and support you from their corner just by reading what you have to say. Thank you in their name. Peace!
"he declared this "line of questioning" transphobic and retreated to his bedroom. He doesn't do that for absolutely anything else. It is frightening to see young people become cultish"
I'm so sorry to hear about this. It really is surreal watching this unfold. I've experienced the exact same thing with people close to me. People who I can usually talk to about any subject. People who know perfectly well that I'm not hateful or bigoted.
I've been racking my brain trying to understand why this topic elicits such a strong fear reaction in some people. As if their brains simply won't allow them to think about it. So far, I haven't come up with anything that makes sense.
I detect some annoyance in your tone, and I suppose the way I expressed my arguments made you think I was accusing you of stuff. I'm not. We are both arguing against over permissive regulations for trans inclusion, great! I guess I thought I could be angry and bitch about this, as someone who is not allowed to refer at herself with her own language, and who is now a subsection of her own sex category (cis and trans, right?). And of course I shared toilets with transgender women, I am even friends with a few. They are perfectly reasonable, and understand all of our concerns, including why I hate to call them women (I also commiserate when they say they hate NOT to be called women; in some ways, though, women instinctively know that once you have allowed that degree of impersonation, their complete erasure is just a matter of time - call it "surviving instinct"). They also understand how much of a slippery slope this whole issue has become, from erasing women as a sex category in law, to allowing males to dominate women's sports, to the self-ID madness. So we are on the same page, all good. Keep doing what you do.
“I guess I thought I could be angry and bitch about this, as someone who is not allowed to refer at herself with her own language, and who is now a subsection of her own sex category (cis and trans, right?)”
Yeah exactly. Of course, you have every right to be angry. I’m angry! But it sounded as if you were angry with *me*, or assuming I was ignorant because I “don’t deal with this every day.”
Actually, as it’s my name on the articles I write, I do deal with abuse very regularly. The amount of racism in my comments and especially DMs is a sight to behold. And I’m also risking a chunk of my income writing about it. Medium has banned many writers for saying anything that isn’t wholly pro-trans.
So yeah, I guess I just didn’t appreciate what I took to be an implication that I don’t care as much. Or that I haven’t thought about the issues carefully. I’m a man, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care deeply about this issue.
I acknowledge that some of us are deeply emotional about this and we can come across as unreasonable and even abusive. How can we not? Heck, my own son went to college with his reason intact, and came back home after one semester chanting slogans and telling me to stop being "obsessive" about "this shit" because "transwomen just want to pee". I tried to have a conversation with him based on logic only (who can???), and we agreed that "gender" was invented to keep women in their place (usually kitchen and bedroom), and that "gender doesn't exist", but "sex" does (as in "there are immutable biological differences between females and males"), but all went dramatically south from there! Because as soon as I said "in this case what does 'transgender' mean, since gender doesn't exist? How does one transition from one gender to another without reinforcing the idea that there are two genders, and they are not expressing sexual differences, but superficial ideas we have about women and men? (based on logic, right????)" he declared this "line of questioning" transphobic and retreated to his bedroom. He doesn't do that for absolutely anything else. It is frightening to see young people become cultish, and when they are your own children it feels like the world is going to implode tomorrow.
But, anyway, I diverge again. I am sure you get a lot of racist shit thrown at you, and I really appreciate the fact that you keep pushing the limit on conversations about the important issues (all of them, not only this one)! You need to understand that you have more admirers than detractors, but alas most of them are silent and support you from their corner just by reading what you have to say. Thank you in their name. Peace!
"he declared this "line of questioning" transphobic and retreated to his bedroom. He doesn't do that for absolutely anything else. It is frightening to see young people become cultish"
I'm so sorry to hear about this. It really is surreal watching this unfold. I've experienced the exact same thing with people close to me. People who I can usually talk to about any subject. People who know perfectly well that I'm not hateful or bigoted.
I've been racking my brain trying to understand why this topic elicits such a strong fear reaction in some people. As if their brains simply won't allow them to think about it. So far, I haven't come up with anything that makes sense.