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GME's avatar

These types of exchanges remind me of Robert Kegan’s Adult Development Theory, the idea that adults can make meaning from different ‘forms of mind’ (a link for those who are curious: https://www.contextprofessionals.com/en/adult-development-theory-how-can-leaders-grow-as-adults-1/).

People operating from earlier stages of Adult Development see things more in terms of black and white, think that you are either ‘with me or against me’, and their behavior is informed by reward and punishment. It is more likely for someone in the earlier stages to "Listen to Win," and to think that there is something wrong with you if you disagree with their perspective.

People operating from later stages are able to see gray and nuance, can accept that others may have a perspective that informs the whole, rely on their own value system to know wrong from right, and are more likely to “listen to learn,” which allows them to refine their mental models.

Even folks who have made it to later stages of development can ‘fall back’ to earlier stages in some contexts. ‘Fall back’ is a way that I explain the state of public discourse to myself - and how I am making sense of Stephanie’s way of engaging here.

Unfortunately, as much as I can make sense of what is happening and even why it is happening through this framework, it isn’t always clear how we amplify kindness, safety and care so that more of us can show up at our best. There is a lot of anger, fear and trauma out there, and that so often gets in our way.

Kudos to you, Steve, for wanting to cultivate a space for constructive dialogue.

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Steve QJ's avatar

"People operating from earlier stages of Adult Development see things more in terms of black and white, think that you are either ‘with me or against me’, "

It's fascinating to me how common this way of thinking has become across a whole range of social and political issues. But yes, the question of motivation is hugely important. That's what I wanted to share this, and particularly the next conversation with Stephanie.

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