"it's logical and rational to be suspicious of the sex that has repeatedly harmed you. As a wife to a decent man and the mother of another, I know neither one of them would be remotely perturbed by being avoided by a woman."
Hmm, I don't think the second statement follows from the first. Yes, no decent man is gong to be perturbed by a wom…
"it's logical and rational to be suspicious of the sex that has repeatedly harmed you. As a wife to a decent man and the mother of another, I know neither one of them would be remotely perturbed by being avoided by a woman."
Hmm, I don't think the second statement follows from the first. Yes, no decent man is gong to be perturbed by a woman avoiding him (depending on how she does it I guess). But it's neither logical nor rational to treat a category of humans that has billions of people in it as dangerous because a handful of them mistreated you.
There's are obvious analogies I could make to racism or homophobia or any other form of bigotry here.
To be clear, I obviously recognise that a female prejudice against males is different to a white person's prejudice against black people, say. But that doesn't mean it's logical. It's emotional and kind of short-sighted and that's because humans are emotional, short-sighted creatures.
That's why I wouldn't have any problem understanding if a woman saw me on a dark night and crossed the street, for example. I absolutely wouldn't discourage her from doing this or tell her to rationalise her fear. In fact, if I were on the same side of the street as a woman walking alone at night, I'd probably cross first. But this is a fear-based reaction. Not a rational one.
No, it's logical. And it's not prejudice. (Edited to add -"Prejudice - preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.")
When men as a sex commit around 98 percent of all violent crime (and they do) and when 99 percent of the people who have harmed you across three different continents were men (and they were) and when the sex of men are documented throughout history across every culture, ethnicity and creed as being dangerous and predatory (and they are) it's not remotely prejudicial to avoid men in an effort to stay safe. It is irrational to call a learned response based on facts and reality prejudicial when it comes to making decisions that affect my own body and safety.
And to be clear, I work with men and spend time around men regularly, but will always choose a woman over a man to sit beside, talk to, as a server, definitely for intimate medical care. In any and all interactions when there's a choice I will unhesitatingly pick a woman I don't know over a man I don't know. Because, statistically, provably and irrefutably they're far (far) safer on every level.
Yes, that's logical. I am absolutely allowed ethically and pragmatically to choose the safest option that makes me comfortable where possible.
Recently, at work, I was given a sweet little certificate for making the most positive impact on everyone. A bit daft, but it was meant well. The men I spend time with during any part of my day are given the same respect and politeness as the women. They do not know that I have a perfectly rational aversion to dealing with men, and avoid them when possible. When it's not possible, I am an adult about it.
You can choose to believe that picking the safest and most comfortable option is prejudice if that makes it easier to understand. But I prefer reality.
What a shame 9 year old, 18 year old and 30 year old me didn't know what 55 year old me knows.
You can't tell the safe men from the unsafe men. Avoid where possible.
Steve, you wrote "I obviously recognise that a female prejudice against males is different to a white person's prejudice against black people."
Is it, though? How is it different?
This question was dramatised well in an episode of "Rosanne". A black man comes to her door and she reacts (rudely) in fear. I think she slams the door in his face. Then later she encounters him in another situation and apologizes, explaining herself thus: "I wasn't scared of you because you're black, I was scared of you because you're a man."
"it's logical and rational to be suspicious of the sex that has repeatedly harmed you. As a wife to a decent man and the mother of another, I know neither one of them would be remotely perturbed by being avoided by a woman."
Hmm, I don't think the second statement follows from the first. Yes, no decent man is gong to be perturbed by a woman avoiding him (depending on how she does it I guess). But it's neither logical nor rational to treat a category of humans that has billions of people in it as dangerous because a handful of them mistreated you.
There's are obvious analogies I could make to racism or homophobia or any other form of bigotry here.
To be clear, I obviously recognise that a female prejudice against males is different to a white person's prejudice against black people, say. But that doesn't mean it's logical. It's emotional and kind of short-sighted and that's because humans are emotional, short-sighted creatures.
That's why I wouldn't have any problem understanding if a woman saw me on a dark night and crossed the street, for example. I absolutely wouldn't discourage her from doing this or tell her to rationalise her fear. In fact, if I were on the same side of the street as a woman walking alone at night, I'd probably cross first. But this is a fear-based reaction. Not a rational one.
No, it's logical. And it's not prejudice. (Edited to add -"Prejudice - preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.")
When men as a sex commit around 98 percent of all violent crime (and they do) and when 99 percent of the people who have harmed you across three different continents were men (and they were) and when the sex of men are documented throughout history across every culture, ethnicity and creed as being dangerous and predatory (and they are) it's not remotely prejudicial to avoid men in an effort to stay safe. It is irrational to call a learned response based on facts and reality prejudicial when it comes to making decisions that affect my own body and safety.
And to be clear, I work with men and spend time around men regularly, but will always choose a woman over a man to sit beside, talk to, as a server, definitely for intimate medical care. In any and all interactions when there's a choice I will unhesitatingly pick a woman I don't know over a man I don't know. Because, statistically, provably and irrefutably they're far (far) safer on every level.
Yes, that's logical. I am absolutely allowed ethically and pragmatically to choose the safest option that makes me comfortable where possible.
Recently, at work, I was given a sweet little certificate for making the most positive impact on everyone. A bit daft, but it was meant well. The men I spend time with during any part of my day are given the same respect and politeness as the women. They do not know that I have a perfectly rational aversion to dealing with men, and avoid them when possible. When it's not possible, I am an adult about it.
You can choose to believe that picking the safest and most comfortable option is prejudice if that makes it easier to understand. But I prefer reality.
What a shame 9 year old, 18 year old and 30 year old me didn't know what 55 year old me knows.
You can't tell the safe men from the unsafe men. Avoid where possible.
https://celticchameleon.medium.com/please-stop-saying-people-when-you-really-mean-men-tk-a335a50031e0
https://celticchameleon.medium.com/ogled-in-the-park-and-other-stories-2c3237de8c08
(Edited for typos and to join the two comments I made together).
Steve, you wrote "I obviously recognise that a female prejudice against males is different to a white person's prejudice against black people."
Is it, though? How is it different?
This question was dramatised well in an episode of "Rosanne". A black man comes to her door and she reacts (rudely) in fear. I think she slams the door in his face. Then later she encounters him in another situation and apologizes, explaining herself thus: "I wasn't scared of you because you're black, I was scared of you because you're a man."
So - how is it different?