I've been harassed, threatened, molested and downright assaulted by men repeatedly in my life and never once did I even think of looking for another man to come to my rescue. To be honest, most of the time, I feel annoyed if men try to fight my battles for me. So I tend to see things just a little differently than Amber here, or most fem…
I've been harassed, threatened, molested and downright assaulted by men repeatedly in my life and never once did I even think of looking for another man to come to my rescue. To be honest, most of the time, I feel annoyed if men try to fight my battles for me. So I tend to see things just a little differently than Amber here, or most feminists, for that matter. As I see it, if I want the same respect as a man, which I do, I have to stand up for myself. How could I expect equal respect, if I were to act helpless and expect some man to step in and rescue me every time I have a problem? Was the whole point of the women's liberation movement not to prove that women can take charge of our own lives, without help from men?
I'm 5'3", 105 lbs, I carry pepper spray and I've travelled all over this country in a hatchback and gotten out of every scrape I've gotten into so far, without asking a man for help. If I can do it, so can other women. AND WE SHOULD. This is not to say a man shouldn't step up if he sees an actual assault occuring, where a woman is overpowered and actually needs help. Of course, ANY bystander should step in to help a person who is outnumbered and being victimized, regardless of sex/gender. But as for the day-to-day creeps on the subway - I got them handled, man.
We should be like the bonobos and stand up for other women, too. What if a crowd of strange women surrounded some woman being hassled by a guy, or a bunch of drunks? What if it got to be A Thing and men came to realize that they might face a gang of angry women if they pulled any shit?
"What if it got to be A Thing and men came to realize that they might face a gang of angry women if they pulled any shit?"
Ha! I just commented something very similar in response to one of your other replies. I'd *LOVE* to see this. From both men and women. If this were the norm, if creeps knew to expect a group response when they harassed people, I think it would stop pretty damn quickly.
While even one particularly powerful thug might not lose a full-on physical confrontation with even a sizable group of angry women, that is not the point. What should matter is that he realizes no predation is free of consequence, that the price of predation will forever be high and simply not worth the hassle.
What if you're a disabled woman? Or someone with a nature not inclined to feisty attitudes? Am I really expected to fight off a man twice my size? Is that really the primary answer for all women? Why would you be annoyed at men coming to your assistance in dealing with a threatening male? I respect your attitude, I really do, but I don't think it's fair that this is what be expected of women. It's a POV that lends itself to victim blaming.
My answer is that if for any reason you feel you are unable to defend yourself, you should be very careful about how you travel in public. Yes, other people should come to one another's aid, but you can't always count on that, and creepy people shouldn't prey on the vulnerable, but unfortunately, they do. No matter how well the majority of people raise their kids, no matter how many positive messages we give out about being "allies" or good Samaritans or whatever, there will still be predatory people who will prey on the vulnerable. So if you know yourself to be vulnerable, take precautions. Travel in groups, travel only by day, stay in well-lit places with lots of other people around so you can call for help if needed. You need a strategy for how you're going to cope with harassment or assault if it happens, because sooner or later, it probably will - sooner if you're a female between the ages of 12 and 40.
I think you're absolutely correct. If you can stand up to some guy then all the better but a raft of strategies should always be in play. You have some good suggestions there.
It's not an answer for *everyone*, but it's an answer for more women than would like admit. Circumstances vary too. Some situations are more dangerous than others. Others, like three drunk guys on a subway, less so.
I've been harassed, threatened, molested and downright assaulted by men repeatedly in my life and never once did I even think of looking for another man to come to my rescue. To be honest, most of the time, I feel annoyed if men try to fight my battles for me. So I tend to see things just a little differently than Amber here, or most feminists, for that matter. As I see it, if I want the same respect as a man, which I do, I have to stand up for myself. How could I expect equal respect, if I were to act helpless and expect some man to step in and rescue me every time I have a problem? Was the whole point of the women's liberation movement not to prove that women can take charge of our own lives, without help from men?
I'm 5'3", 105 lbs, I carry pepper spray and I've travelled all over this country in a hatchback and gotten out of every scrape I've gotten into so far, without asking a man for help. If I can do it, so can other women. AND WE SHOULD. This is not to say a man shouldn't step up if he sees an actual assault occuring, where a woman is overpowered and actually needs help. Of course, ANY bystander should step in to help a person who is outnumbered and being victimized, regardless of sex/gender. But as for the day-to-day creeps on the subway - I got them handled, man.
We should be like the bonobos and stand up for other women, too. What if a crowd of strange women surrounded some woman being hassled by a guy, or a bunch of drunks? What if it got to be A Thing and men came to realize that they might face a gang of angry women if they pulled any shit?
"What if it got to be A Thing and men came to realize that they might face a gang of angry women if they pulled any shit?"
Ha! I just commented something very similar in response to one of your other replies. I'd *LOVE* to see this. From both men and women. If this were the norm, if creeps knew to expect a group response when they harassed people, I think it would stop pretty damn quickly.
While even one particularly powerful thug might not lose a full-on physical confrontation with even a sizable group of angry women, that is not the point. What should matter is that he realizes no predation is free of consequence, that the price of predation will forever be high and simply not worth the hassle.
What if you're a disabled woman? Or someone with a nature not inclined to feisty attitudes? Am I really expected to fight off a man twice my size? Is that really the primary answer for all women? Why would you be annoyed at men coming to your assistance in dealing with a threatening male? I respect your attitude, I really do, but I don't think it's fair that this is what be expected of women. It's a POV that lends itself to victim blaming.
All people should intervene when needed against harassment. It is a citizen's obligation that we should be taught in Civics classes.
My answer is that if for any reason you feel you are unable to defend yourself, you should be very careful about how you travel in public. Yes, other people should come to one another's aid, but you can't always count on that, and creepy people shouldn't prey on the vulnerable, but unfortunately, they do. No matter how well the majority of people raise their kids, no matter how many positive messages we give out about being "allies" or good Samaritans or whatever, there will still be predatory people who will prey on the vulnerable. So if you know yourself to be vulnerable, take precautions. Travel in groups, travel only by day, stay in well-lit places with lots of other people around so you can call for help if needed. You need a strategy for how you're going to cope with harassment or assault if it happens, because sooner or later, it probably will - sooner if you're a female between the ages of 12 and 40.
I think you're absolutely correct. If you can stand up to some guy then all the better but a raft of strategies should always be in play. You have some good suggestions there.
It's not an answer for *everyone*, but it's an answer for more women than would like admit. Circumstances vary too. Some situations are more dangerous than others. Others, like three drunk guys on a subway, less so.
That happens too.
You’re a true bad ass and I love your attitude. No one gives you respect. It’s earned on the way you carry yourself.