"I see that there is still a pernicious fiction embedded in de-emphasizing the person wielding the imprecation instead of the so-called slur itself. My color, your color, the density and type of melanocytes per cubic centimeter in general isn't a topic worthy of insecurity, so the insult itself is confusing"
"I see that there is still a pernicious fiction embedded in de-emphasizing the person wielding the imprecation instead of the so-called slur itself. My color, your color, the density and type of melanocytes per cubic centimeter in general isn't a topic worthy of insecurity, so the insult itself is confusing"
Yep! This is exactly it. To go back to H, imagine his friend was going around to people and saying, "Ha, look at you, you've got less than seven creases on your palm. You suck!"
H's instinct wouldn't be to say, "Hey! Not cool man, you can't say that!" it would be to say, "What the hell are you talking about? Do you realise how stupid you sound?!"
H's friend's hypothetical insult could *only* be offensive if the insult-ee had somehow absorbed the idea that having less than seven creases on their palm is a bad thing. And the instinct to defend them rather than ridicule his friend would *only* exist because H had absorbed those ideas too.
Now, H's friend is still trying to offend people. There's nothing wrong with telling him to stop, even if his insults aren't effective. In fact it's a good thing. But *how* we tell him to stop says a lot about our own beliefs and attitudes.
"I see that there is still a pernicious fiction embedded in de-emphasizing the person wielding the imprecation instead of the so-called slur itself. My color, your color, the density and type of melanocytes per cubic centimeter in general isn't a topic worthy of insecurity, so the insult itself is confusing"
Yep! This is exactly it. To go back to H, imagine his friend was going around to people and saying, "Ha, look at you, you've got less than seven creases on your palm. You suck!"
H's instinct wouldn't be to say, "Hey! Not cool man, you can't say that!" it would be to say, "What the hell are you talking about? Do you realise how stupid you sound?!"
H's friend's hypothetical insult could *only* be offensive if the insult-ee had somehow absorbed the idea that having less than seven creases on their palm is a bad thing. And the instinct to defend them rather than ridicule his friend would *only* exist because H had absorbed those ideas too.
Now, H's friend is still trying to offend people. There's nothing wrong with telling him to stop, even if his insults aren't effective. In fact it's a good thing. But *how* we tell him to stop says a lot about our own beliefs and attitudes.
Really appreciate the exchange. Thank you.