Daniel was five when I met him. He was in my daughter's kindergarten class, and they were fast friends. After school, Daniel and his cousin, George, often came home with my girls. They all did their homework together, then ran outside to play. As the years passed, Daniel and George spent more and more time at our home.
Daniel was five when I met him. He was in my daughter's kindergarten class, and they were fast friends. After school, Daniel and his cousin, George, often came home with my girls. They all did their homework together, then ran outside to play. As the years passed, Daniel and George spent more and more time at our home.
While the boy's fathers were long gone, I never met their mothers. I never let my kids go to anyone's home without meeting parents first, but even when the boys stayed the whole weekend, I never heard from their mothers. As you might have guessed, Daniel and George were really good children, polite, intelligent, helpful, respectful and very, very kind. By high school, we'd often wake up to find Daniel and George sound asleep in our living room. I'd make breakfast, the kids would get dressed and off they went to school.
Daniel had been a cute boy, but he grew into the most handsome teenager I'd ever seen. Daniel stood six foot three inches tall, had broad shoulders, black hair, olive skin, and black eyes. His cousin George was a few inches taller and 30 pounds of solid muscle bigger than Daniel.
George was the one who finally told me what was going on at home. Daniel's mom's boyfriend was a prison guard and he had moved in when Daniel started Junior High. Daniel's mom thought Daniel wanted a father and could not figure out why her fiancé disliked her son as much as he disliked him. "George" I asked, "why does Daniel dislike his mother's boyfriend?" George came right out and said it plain and simple "he's trying to turn Daniel into a man." I said, "oh shit" and George nodded in agreement.
As I said, the boys were in high school now and testing rebellion for the first time. In turn, Daniel's step-father was shoving back, harder and harder. One afternoon, the kids come into my office and Daniel was dressed as a woman. Oh my G-d, I exclaimed, Daniel you look just like Diana Ross (and believe you me, he did). Daniel broke out singing, and if he'd been the size of Diana Ross, I swear you could not have told them apart. After that, Daniel came and went from our house in whatever gender felt right to him that day. He went out to dinner with us, to movies, civic events, art shows, etc. as well. In our small mountain town, of 8,000 people, we got a few stares from tourists, but locals didn't blink an eye. The only person who cared was Daniel's step-father, the prison guard.
Daniel was a sophomore when I spoke to his mother for the first time. She called me on the phone to ask me for a favour. First, she told me what had happened. Her husband and Daniel had been arguing, again, but this time they'd gotten physical, so she called the police. When the police arrived, she had them take Daniel to the psychiatric hospital in the city 50 miles away. She was supposed to go down and sign paperwork to place him on a 72-hour psychiatric hold but she called me instead, and asked me to go down the mountain, pick up her son and bring him to my house. Could Daniel stay at my house until things calmed down she asked? Yes, he can stay as long as he likes I said, but first, I want to know, how are you?
The poor woman burst into tears and told me how she was. She was not fine, at all. Her marriage had ripped her life to shreds. She couldn't throw her son out of his home, but she couldn't throw her husband out either, because... they'd refinanced her home together to withdraw her equity. The money was gone, and now she couldn't make the mortgage payment without her husband. I told her I’d call her back, as soon as I got Daniel home and headed down the mountain. Daniel stayed with us quite a while and when he was ready, he went home.
After that, Daniel talked to me about his feelings a lot. All I could do was listen, cause I knew nothing about this stuff. I had a great uncle, who was a cross-dresser, but that was no big deal, cause he dressed up at home and his wife loved him too much to care. I will always wonder if my aunt and uncle’s story was what got Daniel to start looking for in a partner.
The kids headed off to college and Daniel went to nursing school. A few years later, my mother had a heart attack and was rushed to the city hospital. She was terrified and I stayed with her, night and day. When I told Mama I was going home to shower and change clothes, her vital signs flew up and up and up and I decided to stay. Suddenly, a new night nurse walked into her room – and it was our Daniel. I was plumb out of emotional strength and my face was drowning in tears. Daniel threw his arms around me, whispered “not here” and asked Mama if he could take me for a walk. Of course, said my Mama. Daniel guided me down the hall, and into a room where I lost my composure in one big bout of weeping. And then we caught up.
So that’s your maiden name, said Daniel, if I’d known your mom was here, I’d have been here too. If I’d known you were here, I would have asked for you I replied. How long have you been here, Daniel asked? Three days I replied. Well, you’re going home tonight. I explained what happened when I told Mom I was leaving earlier. Daniel said “don’t worry, I will handle that” and he did. When we went back into Mama’s room Daniel started singing Motown songs and his Diana Ross routine stole my mother’s heart. He’d remembered that my love of Jazz and Motown came from my mother. Mama insisted I go home, Daniel would stay with her. Her vital signs were good.
Daniel married a girl like my aunt, who loved him too much to care about his cross dressing at home or out in public. They would have children and lead happy lives. Today, Daniel is more handsome than ever, every bit as kind and gentle and still belting out songs in Diana Ross style. I miss our Supreme’s nights, when all four of us sang together and George would be our audience, and we were all happy just to be happy – for a while.
This shines a light on the idea that there are effeminate men and masculine women who are neither transexual nor homosexual. Just as there are hypermasculine men and hyperfeminine women who are homosexual. Our society makes no space for them.
Dave, I take your point. However, Daniel was extremely masculine when dressed as a man, and equally feminine when dressed as a woman, - so much so, he is convincing in either role. Daniel experimented sexually, but chose a woman, children and a family of his own.
I've known Daniel for thirty years now, and he is one of the most honest people I know. He still lives in the small mountain community where he was born and raised, and is well-respected, trusted, and deeply loved. As I said, Daniel is a nurse and has a reputation as the best phlebotomist in the county. Doctors and patients ask for Daniel and everyone knows the reason. No one can ease an old patient's fears, or make people smile like Daniel can.
I often think that Daniel changes his gender roles to help people by speaking with them, in a way that lets them know, they are being heard. I say that, because most of us are so genderized, we assume men can't do this and women can't do that. Daniel offers people the gender they need most and that is a rare and precious gift.
Daniel was five when I met him. He was in my daughter's kindergarten class, and they were fast friends. After school, Daniel and his cousin, George, often came home with my girls. They all did their homework together, then ran outside to play. As the years passed, Daniel and George spent more and more time at our home.
While the boy's fathers were long gone, I never met their mothers. I never let my kids go to anyone's home without meeting parents first, but even when the boys stayed the whole weekend, I never heard from their mothers. As you might have guessed, Daniel and George were really good children, polite, intelligent, helpful, respectful and very, very kind. By high school, we'd often wake up to find Daniel and George sound asleep in our living room. I'd make breakfast, the kids would get dressed and off they went to school.
Daniel had been a cute boy, but he grew into the most handsome teenager I'd ever seen. Daniel stood six foot three inches tall, had broad shoulders, black hair, olive skin, and black eyes. His cousin George was a few inches taller and 30 pounds of solid muscle bigger than Daniel.
George was the one who finally told me what was going on at home. Daniel's mom's boyfriend was a prison guard and he had moved in when Daniel started Junior High. Daniel's mom thought Daniel wanted a father and could not figure out why her fiancé disliked her son as much as he disliked him. "George" I asked, "why does Daniel dislike his mother's boyfriend?" George came right out and said it plain and simple "he's trying to turn Daniel into a man." I said, "oh shit" and George nodded in agreement.
As I said, the boys were in high school now and testing rebellion for the first time. In turn, Daniel's step-father was shoving back, harder and harder. One afternoon, the kids come into my office and Daniel was dressed as a woman. Oh my G-d, I exclaimed, Daniel you look just like Diana Ross (and believe you me, he did). Daniel broke out singing, and if he'd been the size of Diana Ross, I swear you could not have told them apart. After that, Daniel came and went from our house in whatever gender felt right to him that day. He went out to dinner with us, to movies, civic events, art shows, etc. as well. In our small mountain town, of 8,000 people, we got a few stares from tourists, but locals didn't blink an eye. The only person who cared was Daniel's step-father, the prison guard.
Daniel was a sophomore when I spoke to his mother for the first time. She called me on the phone to ask me for a favour. First, she told me what had happened. Her husband and Daniel had been arguing, again, but this time they'd gotten physical, so she called the police. When the police arrived, she had them take Daniel to the psychiatric hospital in the city 50 miles away. She was supposed to go down and sign paperwork to place him on a 72-hour psychiatric hold but she called me instead, and asked me to go down the mountain, pick up her son and bring him to my house. Could Daniel stay at my house until things calmed down she asked? Yes, he can stay as long as he likes I said, but first, I want to know, how are you?
The poor woman burst into tears and told me how she was. She was not fine, at all. Her marriage had ripped her life to shreds. She couldn't throw her son out of his home, but she couldn't throw her husband out either, because... they'd refinanced her home together to withdraw her equity. The money was gone, and now she couldn't make the mortgage payment without her husband. I told her I’d call her back, as soon as I got Daniel home and headed down the mountain. Daniel stayed with us quite a while and when he was ready, he went home.
After that, Daniel talked to me about his feelings a lot. All I could do was listen, cause I knew nothing about this stuff. I had a great uncle, who was a cross-dresser, but that was no big deal, cause he dressed up at home and his wife loved him too much to care. I will always wonder if my aunt and uncle’s story was what got Daniel to start looking for in a partner.
The kids headed off to college and Daniel went to nursing school. A few years later, my mother had a heart attack and was rushed to the city hospital. She was terrified and I stayed with her, night and day. When I told Mama I was going home to shower and change clothes, her vital signs flew up and up and up and I decided to stay. Suddenly, a new night nurse walked into her room – and it was our Daniel. I was plumb out of emotional strength and my face was drowning in tears. Daniel threw his arms around me, whispered “not here” and asked Mama if he could take me for a walk. Of course, said my Mama. Daniel guided me down the hall, and into a room where I lost my composure in one big bout of weeping. And then we caught up.
So that’s your maiden name, said Daniel, if I’d known your mom was here, I’d have been here too. If I’d known you were here, I would have asked for you I replied. How long have you been here, Daniel asked? Three days I replied. Well, you’re going home tonight. I explained what happened when I told Mom I was leaving earlier. Daniel said “don’t worry, I will handle that” and he did. When we went back into Mama’s room Daniel started singing Motown songs and his Diana Ross routine stole my mother’s heart. He’d remembered that my love of Jazz and Motown came from my mother. Mama insisted I go home, Daniel would stay with her. Her vital signs were good.
Daniel married a girl like my aunt, who loved him too much to care about his cross dressing at home or out in public. They would have children and lead happy lives. Today, Daniel is more handsome than ever, every bit as kind and gentle and still belting out songs in Diana Ross style. I miss our Supreme’s nights, when all four of us sang together and George would be our audience, and we were all happy just to be happy – for a while.
This shines a light on the idea that there are effeminate men and masculine women who are neither transexual nor homosexual. Just as there are hypermasculine men and hyperfeminine women who are homosexual. Our society makes no space for them.
Dave, I take your point. However, Daniel was extremely masculine when dressed as a man, and equally feminine when dressed as a woman, - so much so, he is convincing in either role. Daniel experimented sexually, but chose a woman, children and a family of his own.
I've known Daniel for thirty years now, and he is one of the most honest people I know. He still lives in the small mountain community where he was born and raised, and is well-respected, trusted, and deeply loved. As I said, Daniel is a nurse and has a reputation as the best phlebotomist in the county. Doctors and patients ask for Daniel and everyone knows the reason. No one can ease an old patient's fears, or make people smile like Daniel can.
I often think that Daniel changes his gender roles to help people by speaking with them, in a way that lets them know, they are being heard. I say that, because most of us are so genderized, we assume men can't do this and women can't do that. Daniel offers people the gender they need most and that is a rare and precious gift.