I won’t lie, I’ve been looking forward to this one. My conversations with Ray are among those I’ve been most keen to share here. There are a few reasons for this...
Ray sounds like the parent of the kids I knew in high school that had inculcated a real grievance based on skin color because they had lived through the tail end of Jim Crow and frankly they were deservedly angry.
But…they couldn’t (and can’t) let it go.
So this means that they teach their kids to be suspicious and, if possible, viciously cruel to those with lighter skin because they are coming from a position of pain. Again, they deserve to express their pain. No question.
But what it means on the other end is some kid who was carefully raised by well meaning parents to try their best to love people equally gets shit on and abused because someone else’s parents told their kids to get even.
There was a LOT of damage done.
As always, damage done in the name of skin color ignores the human underneath that skin. Can we finally let it go? It’s decades after that pain - do we need to teach another generation that whitey is evil and act accordingly?
I can (and have) cried for my younger self, bullied for my skin tone over things I was raised to reject as evil.
With the bitterness and anger from Ray working its way through another generation, egged on by race profiteers who can’t simply proclaim victory, where does this really end?
Your thoughtfulness, Steve, keeps me hopeful. Your striving for truth, ability to cut through the crap, and willingness to peel back the stereotypical onion to find the kindred souls beneath- that’s hope that we can find a way forward that leaves behind the dross.
Yeah absolutely. I think it's often forgotten that the most important battle in the fight against racism is for the minds of future generations. It's figuring out how to stop ourselves from passing all those years of anger and distrust and hatred onto our children.
In a perverse way, I think people like Ray are enjoying this moment where white people are being demonised for the colour of their skin. After all, it's not even a fraction of what people from his generation experienced. I don't think he wants to let go. I think he wants payback.
But of course, all it leads to is more anger and distrust and hatred. I wonder how many white children growing up today are learning to think of black people as the enemy because of how they're being treated over things they had nothing to do with. On and on it goes. We desperately need to break this cycle.
This phrase I use is neither racist nor anti-racist. Just ironic. Came off the top of my head one day. Used it with six people, I thin'. You're either the sixth or seventh, Steve. The first I used on two different occasions, with Mehmet.
It's actually pretty effective at breaking down that first layer of online hyperbole. Doubling down on an obviously ridiculous statement is pretty hard for most people. Ray still managed it though😅
Haha,, I'd be willing to bet he is. I've only read two of her pieces of writing, one because somebody recommended it, and though "okay, I think I get the gist..."
Wow.
Ray sounds like the parent of the kids I knew in high school that had inculcated a real grievance based on skin color because they had lived through the tail end of Jim Crow and frankly they were deservedly angry.
But…they couldn’t (and can’t) let it go.
So this means that they teach their kids to be suspicious and, if possible, viciously cruel to those with lighter skin because they are coming from a position of pain. Again, they deserve to express their pain. No question.
But what it means on the other end is some kid who was carefully raised by well meaning parents to try their best to love people equally gets shit on and abused because someone else’s parents told their kids to get even.
There was a LOT of damage done.
As always, damage done in the name of skin color ignores the human underneath that skin. Can we finally let it go? It’s decades after that pain - do we need to teach another generation that whitey is evil and act accordingly?
I can (and have) cried for my younger self, bullied for my skin tone over things I was raised to reject as evil.
With the bitterness and anger from Ray working its way through another generation, egged on by race profiteers who can’t simply proclaim victory, where does this really end?
Your thoughtfulness, Steve, keeps me hopeful. Your striving for truth, ability to cut through the crap, and willingness to peel back the stereotypical onion to find the kindred souls beneath- that’s hope that we can find a way forward that leaves behind the dross.
Thanks for sharing this -
Yeah absolutely. I think it's often forgotten that the most important battle in the fight against racism is for the minds of future generations. It's figuring out how to stop ourselves from passing all those years of anger and distrust and hatred onto our children.
In a perverse way, I think people like Ray are enjoying this moment where white people are being demonised for the colour of their skin. After all, it's not even a fraction of what people from his generation experienced. I don't think he wants to let go. I think he wants payback.
But of course, all it leads to is more anger and distrust and hatred. I wonder how many white children growing up today are learning to think of black people as the enemy because of how they're being treated over things they had nothing to do with. On and on it goes. We desperately need to break this cycle.
Sorry again for the brain-dump, and TYTY for the "American Dream" speech.
This phrase I use is neither racist nor anti-racist. Just ironic. Came off the top of my head one day. Used it with six people, I thin'. You're either the sixth or seventh, Steve. The first I used on two different occasions, with Mehmet.
You're diamond amongst coal, Steve!
You don't know me WELL, but You might surmise that I don't flatter. Never was any good at it; don't see it serves any purpose in the long run. Besides, fundamentally it's against my principles: https://medium.com/illumination-curated/why-im-constitutionally-incapable-of-lying-f5016015993b
All that to say... Jen's and Your writings are priceless.
"I know you don’t believe this. Care to explain what you’re actually trying to say here?" I love this. I'm going to try using it.
It's actually pretty effective at breaking down that first layer of online hyperbole. Doubling down on an obviously ridiculous statement is pretty hard for most people. Ray still managed it though😅
I am guessing that Ray is a big Marley K fan?
Haha,, I'd be willing to bet he is. I've only read two of her pieces of writing, one because somebody recommended it, and though "okay, I think I get the gist..."