This comment is radically under-appreciated by straight men IMHO. Much has been written on it since the 70’s and 80’s, dissecting the specifics.
Notes on clothes:
Somewhere in the late 70’s and early 80’s, it became acceptable for adult women to wear underwear as outerwear, as the expression goes, in professional situations, as well as wea…
This comment is radically under-appreciated by straight men IMHO. Much has been written on it since the 70’s and 80’s, dissecting the specifics.
Notes on clothes:
Somewhere in the late 70’s and early 80’s, it became acceptable for adult women to wear underwear as outerwear, as the expression goes, in professional situations, as well as wearing nothing under outerwear. Men, not so much.
Men cannot wear a racer-back tank top and shorts with a 3” inseam to the office. Men cannot wear sleeveless skintight jersey-knit tops to the office. Men cannot wear a large shirt and tights to an office. Men cannot wear a buttoned jacket and no shirt to an office. There is no context where a man could wear a sheer blouse over a tight muscle-contouring tank top and thigh-length shorts to an office. Even with a jacket. There is no context in fact where a man can expose hairy legs from ankle to calf, knee, thigh, or lower buttocks. A man might be able to wear short-sleeves or rolled up sleeves, if they were not too hairy. but sleeves above the elbow, sleeves mid-bicep, upper bicep or exposing hair on deltoids is unacceptable. Men with extremely hairy chests, hairy collars, hairy necks is unacceptable to expose. Men with beards are acceptable to other men now, longer beards less so, ZZ-top beards are not, no matter how well-groomed.
In effect, men must always be covered from the tip of their toe to their neck, from wrist to neck with some exception of forearm. Skintight sweaters are not possible. Leather shirts and pants are not possible.
There was a 20-year period in my life when I maintained a competitive bodybuilding sized body, and I have always had a beard since I was 19. Wearing a polo shirt with 21” biceps was extraordinarily distracting to those around me. Wearing a form-fitting button-down shirt where my pectorals visibly bounce, every flex, was distracting. I had men and women in meetings wanting to touch my trapezius, my biceps, my deltoids, to the amazement of business colleagues. My wardrobe became either black sweaters or baggy shirts and trousers, and jackets.
—-
Being gay, I’m immune to female skin exposure distraction, for the most part, but it is amusing to watch straight men get flustered. It would have been an amusing exercise to come to a large meeting sometime, in a spaghetti-strap tank top and jacket, and matching expensive shorts, with my shaved head and blond beard, all 250lbs of me, and take the jacket off, my blond body hair a light carpet over chest, shoulders, back, arms, every muscle flexing and dancing under my skin and do an hour long presentation of a complex financial/technical matter: just to see the reaction. An exaggeration, perhaps, but that’s what the double-standard is.
—-
Women don’t dress for men, they dress for other reasons, a complex set of signals of dominance and submission, youth vs experience, and consciousness of sexual desirability to women only, which men don’t read unless interested in fashion.
—-
Men dress to indicate they are not a threat; they aren’t a 250lb muscular male, they don’t have secondary sex characteristics fully developed and arrayed to intimidate, they dress to seem unselfconscious, and to suppress any intimation of physical challenge. Men dress to seem like they would never ever attack, or even could do so, or ever be attacked. The modern western shirt and trousers and jacket is an evolution of the articulated medieval suit of armor.
—-
The one thing women do consistently is expose their neck, their throat to the collar bone, as far as they can around it to shoulders and back, as far down as possible to the pectorals. The apotheosis is the strapless gown, but that’s completely unacceptable for the office.
The one thing men cannot do is expose their neck to the collar bone, the back of their neck, along their shoulders, below the collar bone to the pectoral muscles.
In sociobiology, exposing the neck and belly maximally in animal groups is an appeasement gesture to group leadership. It exists in multiple classes of mammals, from Lions / cats, to Wolves / dogs, Primates / humans, even Dolphins, Meerkats, Rats, Otters and Giraffes.
When you’re aware of it, it simplifies a lot of discussion about office dress.
This comment is radically under-appreciated by straight men IMHO. Much has been written on it since the 70’s and 80’s, dissecting the specifics.
Notes on clothes:
Somewhere in the late 70’s and early 80’s, it became acceptable for adult women to wear underwear as outerwear, as the expression goes, in professional situations, as well as wearing nothing under outerwear. Men, not so much.
Men cannot wear a racer-back tank top and shorts with a 3” inseam to the office. Men cannot wear sleeveless skintight jersey-knit tops to the office. Men cannot wear a large shirt and tights to an office. Men cannot wear a buttoned jacket and no shirt to an office. There is no context where a man could wear a sheer blouse over a tight muscle-contouring tank top and thigh-length shorts to an office. Even with a jacket. There is no context in fact where a man can expose hairy legs from ankle to calf, knee, thigh, or lower buttocks. A man might be able to wear short-sleeves or rolled up sleeves, if they were not too hairy. but sleeves above the elbow, sleeves mid-bicep, upper bicep or exposing hair on deltoids is unacceptable. Men with extremely hairy chests, hairy collars, hairy necks is unacceptable to expose. Men with beards are acceptable to other men now, longer beards less so, ZZ-top beards are not, no matter how well-groomed.
In effect, men must always be covered from the tip of their toe to their neck, from wrist to neck with some exception of forearm. Skintight sweaters are not possible. Leather shirts and pants are not possible.
There was a 20-year period in my life when I maintained a competitive bodybuilding sized body, and I have always had a beard since I was 19. Wearing a polo shirt with 21” biceps was extraordinarily distracting to those around me. Wearing a form-fitting button-down shirt where my pectorals visibly bounce, every flex, was distracting. I had men and women in meetings wanting to touch my trapezius, my biceps, my deltoids, to the amazement of business colleagues. My wardrobe became either black sweaters or baggy shirts and trousers, and jackets.
—-
Being gay, I’m immune to female skin exposure distraction, for the most part, but it is amusing to watch straight men get flustered. It would have been an amusing exercise to come to a large meeting sometime, in a spaghetti-strap tank top and jacket, and matching expensive shorts, with my shaved head and blond beard, all 250lbs of me, and take the jacket off, my blond body hair a light carpet over chest, shoulders, back, arms, every muscle flexing and dancing under my skin and do an hour long presentation of a complex financial/technical matter: just to see the reaction. An exaggeration, perhaps, but that’s what the double-standard is.
—-
Women don’t dress for men, they dress for other reasons, a complex set of signals of dominance and submission, youth vs experience, and consciousness of sexual desirability to women only, which men don’t read unless interested in fashion.
—-
Men dress to indicate they are not a threat; they aren’t a 250lb muscular male, they don’t have secondary sex characteristics fully developed and arrayed to intimidate, they dress to seem unselfconscious, and to suppress any intimation of physical challenge. Men dress to seem like they would never ever attack, or even could do so, or ever be attacked. The modern western shirt and trousers and jacket is an evolution of the articulated medieval suit of armor.
—-
The one thing women do consistently is expose their neck, their throat to the collar bone, as far as they can around it to shoulders and back, as far down as possible to the pectorals. The apotheosis is the strapless gown, but that’s completely unacceptable for the office.
The one thing men cannot do is expose their neck to the collar bone, the back of their neck, along their shoulders, below the collar bone to the pectoral muscles.
In sociobiology, exposing the neck and belly maximally in animal groups is an appeasement gesture to group leadership. It exists in multiple classes of mammals, from Lions / cats, to Wolves / dogs, Primates / humans, even Dolphins, Meerkats, Rats, Otters and Giraffes.
When you’re aware of it, it simplifies a lot of discussion about office dress.