Sorry for the only tangentially related take here, but every time it is repeated that women are soft-spoken or demure, even during the not-so-distant time when most were home-makers, I am also reminded of countless stories and also my own observation of women that were very sure and vocal of what they wanted, and often their husbands sim…
Sorry for the only tangentially related take here, but every time it is repeated that women are soft-spoken or demure, even during the not-so-distant time when most were home-makers, I am also reminded of countless stories and also my own observation of women that were very sure and vocal of what they wanted, and often their husbands simply complied. I just don't think women were ever uniformly cowed, despite uneven economic and educational opportunities. Once upon a time, good men highly valued their women to the point of conceding many points of real decisions and power. I just don't buy this whole 'little lady' narrative that is just assumed of our not-so-distant past. From whence rose the lionesses of today? Their lioness mothers of course and their fathers who believed in them. The stereotype is tired and was never really true for many, many women.
I think the idea of the sweet demure damsel was patriarchy's wishful thinking and a projection. The complex reality of women as a real human being (especially the sexual side) is just too threatening an idea, so we hang onto the myth. I think your observations are correct. Remember that children's rhyme about girls being made of sugar, spice an all things nice, and boys made of snails and puppy dog's tails? Little boys are the sweetest, most trusting people on earth, while little girls are ready to run the world by age 7. We all know it and see it in our real lives but the myth is obviously too valuable to let go of, but it's probably well past time we did.
That hit home. I felt bad for my son who has an older sister as I could not possibly be as close to him as I was with her. I was wrong. He was/is sweeter. To this day many years later, we cannot part ways without him expressing his love many times.
Sorry for the only tangentially related take here, but every time it is repeated that women are soft-spoken or demure, even during the not-so-distant time when most were home-makers, I am also reminded of countless stories and also my own observation of women that were very sure and vocal of what they wanted, and often their husbands simply complied. I just don't think women were ever uniformly cowed, despite uneven economic and educational opportunities. Once upon a time, good men highly valued their women to the point of conceding many points of real decisions and power. I just don't buy this whole 'little lady' narrative that is just assumed of our not-so-distant past. From whence rose the lionesses of today? Their lioness mothers of course and their fathers who believed in them. The stereotype is tired and was never really true for many, many women.
I think the idea of the sweet demure damsel was patriarchy's wishful thinking and a projection. The complex reality of women as a real human being (especially the sexual side) is just too threatening an idea, so we hang onto the myth. I think your observations are correct. Remember that children's rhyme about girls being made of sugar, spice an all things nice, and boys made of snails and puppy dog's tails? Little boys are the sweetest, most trusting people on earth, while little girls are ready to run the world by age 7. We all know it and see it in our real lives but the myth is obviously too valuable to let go of, but it's probably well past time we did.
That hit home. I felt bad for my son who has an older sister as I could not possibly be as close to him as I was with her. I was wrong. He was/is sweeter. To this day many years later, we cannot part ways without him expressing his love many times.
That's so lovely.
Of course context matters. In the world I grew up in, being outspoken was cause for loss of social capital and/or censure. YMMV.