"So, even though the big picture is that we can’t fight racism with racism, J comes across to me as expressing a bit of white fragility. "
Oh absolutely. I dislike the term "white fragility", but fragility for sure.
I don't think a balanced response is possible when you're responding to somebody's *fears* about what you said instead of what you *actually said*. A conversation can only happen if both parties are listening to each other. Otherwise it's just two people talking past each other.
I'd completely understand J's defensiveness if I'd written something about how all white people are evil or racist or whatever garbage people are churning out. I don't think it's fragile to object to being generalised in this way. But if he's going to lie about having read something instead of bothering to read it, there's not a lot I can do.
"So, even though the big picture is that we can’t fight racism with racism, J comes across to me as expressing a bit of white fragility. "
Oh absolutely. I dislike the term "white fragility", but fragility for sure.
I don't think a balanced response is possible when you're responding to somebody's *fears* about what you said instead of what you *actually said*. A conversation can only happen if both parties are listening to each other. Otherwise it's just two people talking past each other.
I'd completely understand J's defensiveness if I'd written something about how all white people are evil or racist or whatever garbage people are churning out. I don't think it's fragile to object to being generalised in this way. But if he's going to lie about having read something instead of bothering to read it, there's not a lot I can do.