Trans Men: The Great Clarifiers Of The “Trans Debate”

If I’ve learned anything over the past few years of writing about social issues, it’s that the people who get the most attention rarely speak for those who deserve the most attention. 

So in my article, Trans Men: The Great Clarifiers Of The “Trans Debate”, I shone a light on a segment of the trans community we don’t often hear from: trans men.

I pointed out that while most of the controversy about trans inclusion focuses on trans women, trans men effortlessly clarify several aspects of the “sex vs gender” debate.

It appears somebody at Medium disagreed. 

Because while I do my best to keep my tin-foil hat in its tin-foil box, it’s extremely obvious that the article’s reach has been limited. In fact, given how limited the article’s reach has been, it’s received a fair amount of love (though if you feel like heading over and giving it a clap or fifty, I’d appreciate it).

So, to help it reach as large an audience as possible, I’ve decided to post the full article here. And breaking with tradition for Friday posts, I’m leaving it paywall free. Feel free to share it with anyone you think might find it interesting. 

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Let’s start with a riddle:

A boy and his father are in a car accident. Both are seriously injured and get taken to hospital. The father goes to intensive care. But the boy, needing brain surgery, is prepped and taken into theatre. The surgeon sees him and says “I can’t operate, he’s my son.”

How is this possible?

I’ve asked family, friends, and even a few strangers this question (see also the replies at the link above). And it’s notable how many people, both men and women, will assume that the boy’s parents are a gay couple or that the critically injured father tried to perform the surgery or even that a time machine was somehow involved, before they considered the possibility that the surgeon is the boy’s mother.

From the operating theatre to the political arena, from the boardroom to Broadway, we’re so used to focusing on men that sometimes we forget women exist. And yet, mysteriously enough, we see precisely the opposite in discussions about trans inclusion.

“Is it fair for trans women to compete in women’s sports?” “Should trans women be housed in women’s prisons or use women’s bathrooms?” “Heck, what even is a woman?" Here, it’s trans men (women who identify as men) who get overlooked.

But it turns out, remembering that trans men exist clarifies several issues in the “sex vs gender” debate. Bathrooms, sports, prisons, trans men shine a light on them all.

So maybe, just this once, we should pay attention to them.

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Our first demonstration of trans men’s powers comes in the form of a tweet sent by a trans man shortly after North Carolina’s infamous bathroom bill passed.

No legalese. No statistics. No appeals to emotion. Just a selfie and a gentle reminder that the law now required his beard, trucker cap and unmistakably manly gaze to use the same bathroom as Governor McCrory’s wife.

As popular YouTuber, Contrapoints points out, bathrooms are segregated by how you look, not what’s between your legs. Women who aren’t “feminine enough” already face scrutiny in women’s bathrooms (a problem that’s only gotten worse in the current climate), and trans women who “pass” for women already use them without issue.

But this leaves the thorny question of what trans women who don’t “pass” should do. And here, again, trans men come to our rescue.

After all, trans men who don’t yet pass as men use the women’s bathroom, right? Because that’s safer and more comfortable for all concerned.

I mean, maybe it’s just a coincidence, but I’ve certainly never seen a trans man as eager to use the men’s bathroom as some trans women are to use the women’s...

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Next, let’s trans-man-splain sports. I’ve written about this topic a few times before. So I won’t rehash the biological arguments or the PED analogies or the many, many, many times mid-level male athletes have suddenly transitioned into record breakers when competing against women.

Instead, let’s ask ourselves why trans men haven’t enjoyed similar success.

After all, according to the International Olympic Committee rules, “[athletes] who transition from female to male are eligible to compete in the male category without restriction.”

Trans men can inject as much testosterone as they like into their bodies. Far more than would naturally occur in men. And yet there isn’t a single trans man dominating (or even making an impression) in top-flight male sports.

Why?

Because trans men are at a disadvantage against male athletes for precisely the same reason that trans women have an advantage over female athletes: athletic performance has nothing to do with gender identity.

Usain Bolt would run just as fast if he put on hair extensions and make-up. Serena Williams would still lose to Andy Murray at tennis if she changed her pronouns. Lebron James would be just as much of a force on the basketball court if he chose to wear high heels off the court.

I genuinely cannot believe it’s necessary to explain any of this.

Heck, in moments of uncharacteristic (and frantically deleted) honesty, even some prominent trans activists have admitted this.

There’s a reason we don’t see trans men breaking records in male sports. Just as there’s a reason we don’t see trans men demanding to get undressed in male changing rooms.

Instead, we see trans men going out of their way to avoid sharing changing rooms with men so that they can feel “comfortable." The same comfort it’s apparently “transphobic” for other female athletes to hope for.

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So that brings us to prisons. And while some of these other issues have been controversial, you’ll be relieved to hear that this one’s simple enough for everybody to agree on:

Trans women should be housed in women’s prisons out of respect for their gender identity, and trans men should…wait…also be housed in women’s prisons because of their sex?!

That’s right, as one trans man explains, after an initial medical exam at a men’s prison revealed he was female, “[the Texas Department of Criminal Justice] moved as fast as they could to get me out of there.”

But wait.

If gender identity should decide which prison you belong in, if trans women should be housed in women’s prisons (even violent offenders like Isla Brysonor Ian Bullock or Lexi-Rose Crawford), then surely trans men should be housed in men’s prisons too.

Yet mysteriously enough, I’ve never seen anybody, TERF or trans activist, arguing for this.

Because everybody understands, even if they pretend they don’t, that sex segregation in prisons isn’t about transphobia. It’s about the very simple fact that prisoners with vaginas face enormous danger of sexual assault if they’re locked up with criminals with penises. Far more danger even than a trans woman.

The importance of sex-based segregation in prisons is so mind-numbingly obvious, that it’s written into three separate articles of the Geneva Convention. It’s why countries like Thailand, that embraced gender diversity long before the West, don’t house pre-op trans women in female prisons.

Trans women are at risk in men’s prisons too, of course. I’m sure we can agree that more needs to be done to protect all prisoners from abuse, regardless of gender identity. I’m just not sure why anybody thinks that burden should fall entirely on women’s shoulders.

Because if you think both trans men and trans women should be housed in women’s prisons, you’re not arguing for inclusion or validation or kindness, you don’t think gender identity is more important than biological sex, you just think female prisons should act as an escape hatch for anybody who feels unsafe in a male prison.

Which, for the record, is everybody.

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The debate around trans inclusion is the most polarised and toxic I can think of. Not because most people, whether they’re trans or not, aren’t kind and reasonable and compassionate. But because the loudest, most aggressive, most entitled people in marginalised groups talk over everybody else.

It’s notable how many of these people will dismiss women’s concerns or threaten them with rape or insist that all disagreement is rooted in hatred before considering the possibility that immediately and unquestioningly validating any man who says he’s a woman might bring unintended consequences.

Yet, mysteriously enough, plenty of trans men recognise the potential conflicts between women’s rights and trans rights. Plenty of trans men speak out against the erasure of womanhood. Plenty of trans men are asking to have an honest and compassionate conversation about trans inclusion.

Maybe, just this once, we should pay attention to them.

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