Back around 2008 I ran across a former coworker who was down and out, he'd been kicked out of his apartment and his stuff placed outside to be hauled away by opportunists, including his CD collection; this was the guy who turned me on to Coil and started me buying music for the first time in…
Back around 2008 I ran across a former coworker who was down and out, he'd been kicked out of his apartment and his stuff placed outside to be hauled away by opportunists, including his CD collection; this was the guy who turned me on to Coil and started me buying music for the first time in 16 years, aside from classical and a few artists I followed.
I should have seen red flags a lot sooner.
He kept talking about child abuse, child rape, crazier and crazier stories, finally passing the point where it was possible to believe him at all. Everyone he had ever known or trusted had raped him, our boss had raped him (I doubt this boss could screw his own hand), his parents had farmed him out thousands of times ... then came this tale of a rollercoaster at Disneyland (he was ALWAYS talking about Disneyland) that took a secret turn and delivered its passengers to a room where people including Janet Reno used them in kinky sex.
He was psychotic.
He got a job at Microsoft and emailed public figures about his crazy obsession from his MS email account and you an guess where that led.
In the end I had the cops take him out of my house and had nothing more to do with him.
Now we talk on Facebook; I've had to tell him that if he ever brings up child rape or anything connected with his obsession ever again I will block him, who knows if Vietnamese cops are reading my FB pages and maybe getting confused about who's who.
He is on some kind of psych disability but decades later he is still preoccupied with child abuse. I bet there are people who prey on kids who think about it a lot less than he does.
One of the weirder entries in my gallery of oddballs.
"One of the weirder entries in my gallery of oddballs."
Yikes! Yeah, there's this horribly unfortunate tension between recognising abnormal behaviour and being seen as (and even seeing yourself as) small-minded or unkind.
I don't think there's a way to get this balance completely correct. There is, obviously, such a thing as a person who is weird but not bad. But the main reason we miss red flags is that we get the balance badly wrong.
One of the many things we have to thank critical theory and postmodernism for is the erosion and stigmatisation of our concept of "normal." As I wrote recently, normal should be as broad a category as we can reasonably make it. But it desperately needs limits. For everybody's sake.
The reason I had the cops take him out, aside from the fact that he refused to leave and locked his bedroom door (in my house), was because I no longer felt safe with him in the house. He wasn't violent but he was manipulative; for example he told the cop that I'd threatened him with "physical violence" because I told him I intended to "kick" him out.
There was one time I just snapped; I had a package delivery while away and he refused to accept it. "It might contain DRUGS!" That was a turning point.
I paid my crazy dues with a schizophrenic roommate who nearly murdered me one night and broke my arm. I wasn't paying again.
"Child abuse is a distinctly un-festive topic."
Back around 2008 I ran across a former coworker who was down and out, he'd been kicked out of his apartment and his stuff placed outside to be hauled away by opportunists, including his CD collection; this was the guy who turned me on to Coil and started me buying music for the first time in 16 years, aside from classical and a few artists I followed.
I should have seen red flags a lot sooner.
He kept talking about child abuse, child rape, crazier and crazier stories, finally passing the point where it was possible to believe him at all. Everyone he had ever known or trusted had raped him, our boss had raped him (I doubt this boss could screw his own hand), his parents had farmed him out thousands of times ... then came this tale of a rollercoaster at Disneyland (he was ALWAYS talking about Disneyland) that took a secret turn and delivered its passengers to a room where people including Janet Reno used them in kinky sex.
He was psychotic.
He got a job at Microsoft and emailed public figures about his crazy obsession from his MS email account and you an guess where that led.
In the end I had the cops take him out of my house and had nothing more to do with him.
Now we talk on Facebook; I've had to tell him that if he ever brings up child rape or anything connected with his obsession ever again I will block him, who knows if Vietnamese cops are reading my FB pages and maybe getting confused about who's who.
He is on some kind of psych disability but decades later he is still preoccupied with child abuse. I bet there are people who prey on kids who think about it a lot less than he does.
One of the weirder entries in my gallery of oddballs.
"One of the weirder entries in my gallery of oddballs."
Yikes! Yeah, there's this horribly unfortunate tension between recognising abnormal behaviour and being seen as (and even seeing yourself as) small-minded or unkind.
I don't think there's a way to get this balance completely correct. There is, obviously, such a thing as a person who is weird but not bad. But the main reason we miss red flags is that we get the balance badly wrong.
One of the many things we have to thank critical theory and postmodernism for is the erosion and stigmatisation of our concept of "normal." As I wrote recently, normal should be as broad a category as we can reasonably make it. But it desperately needs limits. For everybody's sake.
The reason I had the cops take him out, aside from the fact that he refused to leave and locked his bedroom door (in my house), was because I no longer felt safe with him in the house. He wasn't violent but he was manipulative; for example he told the cop that I'd threatened him with "physical violence" because I told him I intended to "kick" him out.
There was one time I just snapped; I had a package delivery while away and he refused to accept it. "It might contain DRUGS!" That was a turning point.
I paid my crazy dues with a schizophrenic roommate who nearly murdered me one night and broke my arm. I wasn't paying again.