I struggled to decide which conversation to post today because they all shared the same theme. Namely, divisiveness. And sadly, it’s a theme that comes up more regularly than I’d like.
In my article, The Unspoken Evils Of “Whiteness”, I wrote about how stupid and divisive the term “whiteness” is. But I might just as easily have written about “toxic masculinity” or “leftists” or “the alt-right.”
Whether it’s racism, sexism, political partisanship or something else entirely, our discourse is polluted with divisive generalisations that make productive conversation all but impossible. Because, as they’re typically used, these terms don’t mean anything except, "you’re the enemy."
Then, to make matters worse, a surprising number of people (I’d be surprised by any number above zero to be fair) are so easily triggered, so primed to attack, that they barely even read the words before reacting.
Although honestly, Emilio’s “attack” was probably the nicest I’ve ever received.
Emilio:
Stop with this racist nonsense. Put your obvious quality writing to more productive and constructive issues.
Steve QJ:
It's no small feat to write a comment that simultaneously compliments my writing and makes it clear that you didn't read it. Bravo. And thank you. 😅
Emilio:
No I did read it ...and several times. I just felt that your message, while granted I could've misinterpreted ,was to basically call whiteness by its real name racism. There is something ironic that the discussion itself has made the issue worse rather than better.
A few other readers were similarly triggered by this article. And they also lied about having read it.
Not trying to toot my own horn here, but I consider myself a good enough writer that it’s impossible to get the polar opposite meaning from my writing if you commit to reading the words in order.
But again, the problem is that people are so primed to attack, they don’t read. And once that’s happened, admitting they might have misunderstood or overreacted requires that oh-so-difficult climb down.
Steve QJ:
“was to basically call whiteness by its real name racism.”
I pointed out three ways in which the term "whiteness" harms racial discourse and is detrimental to black people and white people. I fail to see how this is racist. Never mind "racist nonsense".
The entire aim of the piece, and of all my race writing, is to make racial discourse better. I cannot understand how you could have read the piece and not understood this. Skimming is not reading.
Emilio:
You're right. Let me explain myself. I got triggered by the same buzzwords which are meant to divide and destruct. My comment was not to the article per se but the use of the words ie whiteness , white fragility etc. which I classify as racist nonsense and engaging in their discussion as a waste of time and so called " playing their game". I feel these terms are rabbit holes to distract from the real issue.
Steve QJ:
“My comment was not to the article per se but the use of the words ie whiteness , white fragility etc. which I classify as racist nonsense and engaging in their discussion as a waste of time and so called ‘playing their game’”
I completely agree. Terms like "white fragility" and "whiteness" are divisive and racist and racial discourse would be much better and more productive without them. But I can't criticise them without using them 😅
A few other readers got triggered too. I never imagined that things had gotten so bad that just seeing the word on a page would shut down people's thinking. But I do understand the frustration.
I highly recommend just muting the more racist writers. They aren't going to say anything valuable and they're not aiming to improve life for anybody. Black or white. They just want to spew their hatred and insecurity into the world.
We’re in a discursive environment where people are so used to being bashed for one immutable trait or another that it’s frankly embarrassingly easy to put people on the defensive. And the people doing that bashing are, at least in my opinion, just as responsible for the breakdown in communication as the Emilios of the world.
Women writing “all men are trash” articles get plenty of male fragility in their comments. And I’m not defending those fragile men. But I’m also not defending people who attack others for their biology.
Black people writing “all white people are trash” articles get plenty of white fragility in their comments. And I’m not defending those fragile white people. But I’m also not defending people who attack others for their skin colour.
Liberals writing “all conservatives are trash/racist/fascist” articles get plenty of MAGA fragility in their comments. And I’m not defending those fragile Republicans. But I’m also not defending…well, you get the idea by now.
The silver lining, if there is one, is that we all know how this feels to some degree. Unless you’re that one black, female, politically unbiased, disabled, autistic, trans person on the planet, somebody, somewhere, thinks you’re an “oppressor” for something you can’t control.
Maybe we should all give each other a bit more grace.
Purposeful insults proclaim that the people using them don't want meaningful discussion. If you spit in someone's eye you are just looking for a fight. I could quote Mike Tyson here.
It becomes almost comical when it's between groups that outsiders see as indistinguishable.
When I had learned enough Vietnamese to progress outside the classroom I got on a site where northern and southern Vietnamese were having a hatefest mostly over their dialects.
[There are two major dialects of Vietnamese, which is a tonal language, but to someone like me to whom the tones are just pronunciation rather than, as for them, at the very foundation of comprehension, switching between the two is effortless. By choice I speak the northern "dialect" because it sounds more educated].
These were people that not even other Asians could tell apart but for the way they talk and on this forum they were going at each other with just incredible hatred. Nothing at all to do with history or that war, just "you guys sound like cats fighting!"
The first time I worked up the courage to make my maiden voyage in the language, in a deli I had been frequenting for years, a man in front of me whirled around and asked, "How is it you speak northern dialect!" I was kinda proud that my pronunciation was good enough to be regionally pegged.
Edit: go 20 km outside the city and not even native speakers can reliably understand villagers, and *nobody* understands the dialect from Huế. The tones are literally backwards.