"Whenever someone invokes their childhood sexual abuse, the conversation is no longer about whatever you thought you were talking about."
I completely understand why you'd say this. I understand and share the concern about sexual (or any childhood) abuse in general. But I disagree with your conclusion in this case.
"Whenever someone invokes their childhood sexual abuse, the conversation is no longer about whatever you thought you were talking about."
I completely understand why you'd say this. I understand and share the concern about sexual (or any childhood) abuse in general. But I disagree with your conclusion in this case.
If Eli chooses to disclose this information to me, a complete stranger, during a conversation which, as you say, is totally unrelated to what we were talking about, I don't feel like it's my responsibility to manage that disclosure.
Of course, I'd never say anything about her situation. Or judge it in any way. But I feel like if she's ready to bring that into our conversation, unprompted and needlessly, then it's well processed enough that I don't need to tiptoe. Wouldn't you say?
I appreciate that you thought about this and have simply come to a different conclusion.
I tend to think the opposite. When someone’s trauma bubbles up unexpectedly into a conversation like this, often overtaking the conversation and/or interfering with their ability to remain centered and engaged, I assume that trauma has not been fully processed in a more appropriate setting. Assuming I am centered myself (not always the case for any of us), my inclination is to pause, let go of where I thought we were headed, and take in the new surroundings.
"Whenever someone invokes their childhood sexual abuse, the conversation is no longer about whatever you thought you were talking about."
I completely understand why you'd say this. I understand and share the concern about sexual (or any childhood) abuse in general. But I disagree with your conclusion in this case.
If Eli chooses to disclose this information to me, a complete stranger, during a conversation which, as you say, is totally unrelated to what we were talking about, I don't feel like it's my responsibility to manage that disclosure.
Of course, I'd never say anything about her situation. Or judge it in any way. But I feel like if she's ready to bring that into our conversation, unprompted and needlessly, then it's well processed enough that I don't need to tiptoe. Wouldn't you say?
I appreciate that you thought about this and have simply come to a different conclusion.
I tend to think the opposite. When someone’s trauma bubbles up unexpectedly into a conversation like this, often overtaking the conversation and/or interfering with their ability to remain centered and engaged, I assume that trauma has not been fully processed in a more appropriate setting. Assuming I am centered myself (not always the case for any of us), my inclination is to pause, let go of where I thought we were headed, and take in the new surroundings.