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Chris Fox's avatar

I am stunned at your impression of japan. Mine was precisely opposite. Waiters looked at me like they were annoyed that their jobs kept them from spitting in my face.

I was so disgusted with the bigotry that when I left I dumped all my remaining Japanese currency on a counter in the airport.

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Steve QJ's avatar

Interesting. The only issues I've had were with the police. They obviously took it for granted that they could speak Japanese in front of me and I wouldn't understand (I was happy to play up the "dumb gaijin" role) and the fact that I was black came up more than once.

But people in general? I found them notably kind and welcoming and helpful. As I say below, I think it made a big difference that I was obviously a visitor rather than somebody trying to live in Japan.

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Reuben Salsa's avatar

Had a similar experience in South Korea but that was thanks mainly to the presence of American bases. Military had run over a Korean person and everyone was tense. And then there was the ice-skating at the Olympics. It seemed any little incident set off their xenophobia. Outside the cities, it was friendly and mostly curiousity.

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Peaceful Dave's avatar

I found the Koreans to be among the most hospitable people on the planet. Where else will people fetch you from the hotel to have raw squid, garlic cloves, jalapeno peppers and soju for breakfast and then take you to church on a Sunday morning.

The night before they got me smashed on soju while eating raw eels and fish. Wonderful people ;0)

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Reuben Salsa's avatar

Agreed. I had a great 2 years teaching over there. Like I said, it was the occasional flare up that bought out their jingoistic fervor. The world cup in 2002 was the best time!

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Mark Monday's avatar

When my black friend went to Japan to teach English in a village, her arrival made the village paper's front page. Despite, no one attempted to socialize with her during her entire time there. When she went to larger cities, children would point her out to their parents in awe. Overall, she still kinda loved Japan but felt like such an outsider that she cut off her experience a year in. It was just too isolating & lonely for her, despite her love of Japanese culture.

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Steve QJ's avatar

"When she went to larger cities, children would point her out to their parents in awe. "

I had a very similar experience in Vietnam. It was honestly like being a celebrity. Literally every day I had people running up to me to take pictures and chat (read: practice their English). People invited me to their homes for dinner or wanted to buy me drinks.

It was definitely a little overwhelming at times, but generally a really nice experience, because it all came from a place of genuine newness and curiosity. Everyone was polite and respectful, but in many cases had just never seen somebody who looked like me in the flesh.

My experiences in Japan weren't like that at all, except when I was in very small towns. In big cities, people mostly didn't bat an eyelid. But yes, the reason I've never lived in Japan, despite loving it so much, is that I've heard several stories, even from people whose ethnicity is Japanese but who grew up elsewhere, that the deeply ingrained social etiquette and othering of people who don't fit in perfectly, make it almost impossible to truly integrate.

Being a visitor is fine, but if you want to build a life there, whatever colour you are, I hear there's a lot of resistance.

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Chris Fox's avatar

I bet they showed you around. The acquaintance of a westerner brings status. The fact that I donтАЩt drink alcohol spares me most of this. They hear тАЬI donтАЩt drinkтАЭ as тАЬI wonтАЩt drink with you.тАЭ

A Chinese, not do much. Ethnic Chinese are second class citizens here.

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Steve QJ's avatar

Yeah, China was a very different animal to Japan or Vietnam or pretty much any other Asian country IтАЩve been to.

The people there seemed a lot less welcoming to foreigners and I definitely had the impression there was more of an anti-black tinge to it.

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Chris Fox's avatar

I canтАЩt claim to know anything about that but I felt serious hostility in Japan. Chinese tend to be pretty bigoted.

Ok I wasnтАЩt in Japan long, but after all is said and done I didnтАЩt like them. TheyтАЩre the only people IтАЩve ever seen smoke while eating. I had a headache over a week from a one-day layover.

I was dating a Japanese guy for a while. We got along great. Suddenly I started getting the voicemail. I forget how I finally managed to see him in person but eventually got through that something totally innocent I had said weeks before he had later reinterpreted in Japanese terns and decided IтАЩd, I donтАЩt know, insulted him or something. It was kind of painful.

IтАЩve never dated another Japanese since.

TheyтАЩre the most insular people on the planet.

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Chris Fox's avatar

IтАЩve heard a thousand variations on this theme. They may be polite but they will never fully accept someone who isnтАЩt Japanese.

And they have no grasp of cultural relativism at all. If I use the wrong form of address in Vietnam, itтАЩs okay, IтАЩm a foreigner. A similar faux pas in Japan, they wonтАЩt say a thing but youтАЩll go to voicemail forever after.

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Chris Fox's avatar

For a while I spoke conversational Cantonese; since I never learned to read it, it's long gone and forgotten.

But I remember several times being around Chinese people who would talk openly about how inferior and brutish black people were, presuming nobody else could understand them.

Where I live now I am likely the only westerner that a lot of people have ever seen. They don't point, but they stare. Probably trying to figure out how to get me to give them money.

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Peaceful Dave's avatar

I was once in an out of the way place in Thailand at a time that Westerners were very rare there. It was the holiday where people float little boats with candles. I asked my wife to be why everyone was looking at me and smiling (not the land of smiles smile). Her reply was, "Because you are a giant." If you've never seen anyone who was 6'3" you would think them a giant.

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Chris Fox's avatar

Well I am in no danger of that. I peaked at under 5тАЩ10тАЭ and after a bad accident and age shrinkage I think IтАЩm 5тАЩ8тАЭ now.

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Peaceful Dave's avatar

Age shrank me to 6'2" which still leaves me in the bump my head on everything realm.

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Chris Fox's avatar

Vietnam is going through what Japan did after WWII. Forbidden a military they had vastly more money and the standard of living soared. Including diet. A generation grew up with as much protein as they wanted and youтАЩd see families with the sons a head taller than their parents.

You donтАЩt see a lot of six foot tall teens here but in 1998 there were none.

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Peaceful Dave's avatar

My experiences in Japan have been positive. The only negative was my shock at the genres of soft core porn on open display in stores. I need not name them, if you spent much time there you saw it. That and seeing young women get felt up on crowded trains. Not to my liking but their country and culture, not mine.

I found them generally to be quite hospitable. I had some rather hilarious experiences that people with thinner skin or a less robust sense of humor might have found uncomfortable. Maybe my ability to turn on a Ricky Gervais-like attitude helps me fail to notice, or care about, microaggression.

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Chris Fox's avatar

They have a real thing with bondage porn.

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