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Peaceful Dave's avatar

Fascinating. Rather than address the idea that the victim mentality harms the person clinging to it she chose to make it about you. Top that with a 200 IQ CEO saying that her thoughts are about her anger at you for addressing the issue are at the core of her response. Several themes occurred to me other than me hoping there is no stock from her business, if it's public and not a non-profit, in anyone's mutual fund.

I am grateful for my white male privilege which does not lead to a victim mentality or the idea that every negative thing in my life is about ethnicity or gender. It would be a heavy burden and you addressing it seems to me to me to be about setting people free from that. That's not sarcasm.

I understand that people's feelings are important to them, and I can be a bit callous about it which is a personal flaw. Having said that, feeling can degrade thinking. She repeatedly expressed her anger. 𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓. It led to her assigning her thoughts to you.

There is what I mean when I say something. That could be a window to something about me, but before someone starts analyzing me, they might want to think about what I said and address that. What do they find wrong with my idea? That is a frequent breakdown in discussion. Especially when what they find wrong is stereotype or projection driven. What people "hear" is sometimes not what you said, and what they think you were thinking is in fact what they are thinking.

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Steve QJ's avatar

"what you said, and what they think you were thinking is in fact what they are thinking."

Yep, this is astonishingly often the case. Especially online. Some people really don't seem to understand that their emotions and gut feelings can be mistaken. This cognitive flaw drives conspiracy thinking, 90% of trans discourse, 99% of discourse about micro aggressions, and a worrying amount of modern-day political discourse.

So much of the hyperbole and black and white thinking that plagues our discourse is just emotional projection. One of the first lessons I had to learn when I started writing was how to recognise this instead of absorbing it

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jen segal's avatar

Yes people often seem to skim the surface seeking that which agitates their priors. Not really hearing or considering what’s being said - such that you’re not even sure they hear you at all. It’s rather eerie.

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