When I was a little kid, Pollyanna, was one of my favorite books. Pollyanna’s glad-game was my magic too; when everything was going wrong, I could always find something good. I got so good at the glad-game people called me Pollyanna (they still do).
Pollyanna did not spread gladness, by making shit up. Pollyanna listene…
When I was a little kid, Pollyanna, was one of my favorite books. Pollyanna’s glad-game was my magic too; when everything was going wrong, I could always find something good. I got so good at the glad-game people called me Pollyanna (they still do).
Pollyanna did not spread gladness, by making shit up. Pollyanna listened for the reasons people were bickering, arguing and angry. When Pollyanna spoke those reasons out loud, it melted hearts and changed minds.
The reasons we fight and argue make us feel so small and vulnerable, even stupid, no one has the courage to say their reasons out loud. People can shout and scream, even kill, but they cannot bring themselves to say their reasons out loud.
Let me take the first leap. Instead of telling you all about my fights, arguments, disagreements, negativity and anger, I will tell you the reasons I do all those things. Here goes… I am leaping
My reason is that I want a peaceful life where I can spend my time with the people I love, doing the work I love, in places that I love. That’s it. That’s the reason I do and say most everything I do and say. I want that so much that I will fight global corporations, presidents, politicians, billionaires, cops, soldiers, neighbors, teachers… anyone and everyone who tries to keep me from it.
I just told everyone here, my honest reason, and half of you are laughing, making fun of me, shaking your heads in disbelief at my naivete and stupidity and ready to hit the keyboard and type “Grow the fuck up”. Other readers, just dismissed me and moved on to another comment.
For those who stayed, I wonder can you tell us your reasons. You know what you do NOT want. Do you know what you want? Do you need to write pages of words to express your reasons? Or have you thought about what you want so deeply you can express it in a short and simple sentence? How about you, Steve, will you take the leap?
My point is simple. People who are afraid to say their reasons out loud, blame other people for not getting it – and that’s what causes fights.
We cannot fight FOR something, if we don’t know what that something is. Until people start saying what they want, out loud, we will keep on fighting.
"I just told everyone here, my honest reason, and half of you are laughing, making fun of me, shaking your heads in disbelief at my naivete and stupidity and ready to hit the keyboard and type 'Grow the fuck up'."
Hey Raffey! I'm really surprised you're braced for this reaction! I don't think anybody here, and most people in general, would have this reaction to what you wrote. And, in fact, I think the vast majority of people can completely relate to it. I certainly can.
I also don't really think it's a leap to state one's motivations. I've stated them here on more than one occasion, and in my writing pretty much all the time.
I want to live in a world where we aren't divided by meaningless things like skin colour or sexuality or gender. I want us to be able to work together and communicate honestly and generously when we disagree, and I want us to celebrate our differences instead of hating and fearing each other over them.
I want that so much that I'm willing to face criticism and abuse and attacks on my character. I'm willing to put myself out there and spend hours of my free time trying to understand different perspectives. And I want this because if humanity started pulling in the same direction, for our common benefit, it takes my breath away to imagine how wonderful the world could be.
"Hey Raffey! I'm really surprised you're braced for this reaction! I don't think anybody here, and most people in general, would have this reaction to what you wrote."
Argh. I forgot I was on your page. You're right - accusing the people in your space, of behaving like people outside of it, was wrong. I apologize to you and your readers. In the future, I will try to remember who might be reading what I write.
No problem, no apologies necessary.😁 But yeah, I think you're far less alone in your feelings than you seem to think. Only a very few people would ridicule you for saying that. And many of them, only because they're too scared to admit it themselves.
Steve, our conversation nagged at me. After I thought it over, I decided to return.
Gaging one's audience is important. On your substack page, we pay money to read your work – and it is fair to assume people here are interested in conversations with you and like-minded people. Hence, my assuming on these people was wrong, and you rightly brought that to my attention.
You also write on Medium and I read your work in both places. In the future, I must try to keep these different audiences in mind.
That said, I’ve been saying what I wrote here, in public, for a very, very long time and I was responding to the responses I’ve received in real life – I was not imagining or exaggerating them.
Here in the virtual world, civic activists are safer than those of us who work in full public view. In fact, I do not know one civic activist or organizer working in the real world who has NOT faced real threats and real violence at one time or another.
Surprisingly enough, the behaviour we’ve all been seeing at school board meetings this year, over CRT, library books, the 1619 project, and history classes has been going on in rural communities for 20+ years. Since the media does not cover rural communities, most Americans never knew this was happening until it had moved into the suburbs.
I liken it to the canary in the cage miners take down into mines. People in rural communities have been coping with on-line violence spilling over into real life for a very long time. I first encountered it fifteen years ago.
In 2007, our small-town, rural newspaper had just started an on-line comment section, when some serious problems emerged in our school district. By the time anonymous people in our little town newspaper’s virtual world were done with me, my home had been torched (arson), my car had thousands of dollars in damage, and my children, my employees and I had coped with dozens of filthy, disgusting, vile, threatening letters and packages containing realistic toy guns, knives and bombs mailed to my home and business. And I had spent 18 months under police protection.
If you wonder what I did to attract this kind of attention, here is the answer. Racism and the corruption it cultivates in rural institutions, such as schools, hospitals, policing, economic development, and housing is rampant. I’d taken a firm stand against racism and corruption in our school district for a very long time. Suddenly, when our school district was faced with state receivership, 64% of local voters put me on our school board.
Cleaning house wasn’t easy, and opposition to my efforts led to a recall election. Following a two year long, expensive and heated recall campaign, 61% of local voters kept me in office.
At the time, no one could figure out why the opposition (aka recall proponents) spent more than $50,000. to recall me – when the next regular election for my seat would be just 3 months after a recall election could possibly be held. We could not figure out why the Republican party (I mean that literally) paid for large 4 color glossy postcards and mailing costs in a small school district in the middle of dumb-f—k nowhere. We could not figure out why a Washington DC lobbyist (I mean that literally too) organized and ran the recall campaign against me. Harder still, in the midst of the 2008/2009 global economic crisis, and housing market crash, that recall election cost our school district over $100,000.
Steve, can you figure any of that out? Does any of that make sense to you?
Well, we finally figured it out. I had been used as an example. After seeing what happened to people who fought racism and corruption, people refused to risk their families and businesses by serving in local office. As a result, ultra-conservative candidates ran un-opposed in local elections and ended up controlling every local government agency in our community. Using me as an example turned out to be a dirt-cheap way for the Republican Party to assume control of rural communities. And they did it all across America.
I am not whining or asking for sympathy. I am simply saying that activists working in the real world confront very different experiences than activists in the virtual world.
Obviously, I had tons of support, but I have never felt as alone as I did, when I was a target in the real world. While that did not happen here, in your space, I thought explaining it might help inform discussion. :)
"I’ve been saying what I wrote here, in public, for a very, very long time and I was responding to the responses I’ve received in real life – I was not imagining or exaggerating them."
I feel like there's a layer to this conversation that I'm missing. In fact, I kind of had that feeling from your first post. You spoke about the importance of saying what you're *for*. Even though I think I've done so many times before. In fact, you asked me to do so directly. And as part of that request, you explained your reasons:
"My reason is that I want a peaceful life where I can spend my time with the people I love, doing the work I love, in places that I love. That’s it."
Now, I don't know you. I don't know where you live or who you spend time with. I don't know about your personal experiences. All I can respond to is the words you write on the screen. And the quote above is just so perfectly reasonable and universal that I can't see how 99% of people would have any problem with it.
I'm not accusing you of imagining anything, I'm not saying you're exaggerating, I'm saying that If you're expecting people to laugh, or make fun of you, or tell you to "grow the f*ck up," for saying *this* I don't think the people you're talking about are representative of most people.
The abuse you describe above sounds absolutely awful. I know a thing or two about abuse myself, both online and in real life, though nothing on this level. Any body would feel alone if they were treated like this. But I didn't say that activists in real life don't face different challenges to those online. Nor did anybody in the conversation.
I really hope it doesn't feel like I'm trying to dismiss what you're saying. I'm not. I just don't understand where this is coming from.
When I was a little kid, Pollyanna, was one of my favorite books. Pollyanna’s glad-game was my magic too; when everything was going wrong, I could always find something good. I got so good at the glad-game people called me Pollyanna (they still do).
Pollyanna did not spread gladness, by making shit up. Pollyanna listened for the reasons people were bickering, arguing and angry. When Pollyanna spoke those reasons out loud, it melted hearts and changed minds.
The reasons we fight and argue make us feel so small and vulnerable, even stupid, no one has the courage to say their reasons out loud. People can shout and scream, even kill, but they cannot bring themselves to say their reasons out loud.
Let me take the first leap. Instead of telling you all about my fights, arguments, disagreements, negativity and anger, I will tell you the reasons I do all those things. Here goes… I am leaping
My reason is that I want a peaceful life where I can spend my time with the people I love, doing the work I love, in places that I love. That’s it. That’s the reason I do and say most everything I do and say. I want that so much that I will fight global corporations, presidents, politicians, billionaires, cops, soldiers, neighbors, teachers… anyone and everyone who tries to keep me from it.
I just told everyone here, my honest reason, and half of you are laughing, making fun of me, shaking your heads in disbelief at my naivete and stupidity and ready to hit the keyboard and type “Grow the fuck up”. Other readers, just dismissed me and moved on to another comment.
For those who stayed, I wonder can you tell us your reasons. You know what you do NOT want. Do you know what you want? Do you need to write pages of words to express your reasons? Or have you thought about what you want so deeply you can express it in a short and simple sentence? How about you, Steve, will you take the leap?
My point is simple. People who are afraid to say their reasons out loud, blame other people for not getting it – and that’s what causes fights.
We cannot fight FOR something, if we don’t know what that something is. Until people start saying what they want, out loud, we will keep on fighting.
"I just told everyone here, my honest reason, and half of you are laughing, making fun of me, shaking your heads in disbelief at my naivete and stupidity and ready to hit the keyboard and type 'Grow the fuck up'."
Hey Raffey! I'm really surprised you're braced for this reaction! I don't think anybody here, and most people in general, would have this reaction to what you wrote. And, in fact, I think the vast majority of people can completely relate to it. I certainly can.
I also don't really think it's a leap to state one's motivations. I've stated them here on more than one occasion, and in my writing pretty much all the time.
I want to live in a world where we aren't divided by meaningless things like skin colour or sexuality or gender. I want us to be able to work together and communicate honestly and generously when we disagree, and I want us to celebrate our differences instead of hating and fearing each other over them.
I want that so much that I'm willing to face criticism and abuse and attacks on my character. I'm willing to put myself out there and spend hours of my free time trying to understand different perspectives. And I want this because if humanity started pulling in the same direction, for our common benefit, it takes my breath away to imagine how wonderful the world could be.
"Hey Raffey! I'm really surprised you're braced for this reaction! I don't think anybody here, and most people in general, would have this reaction to what you wrote."
Argh. I forgot I was on your page. You're right - accusing the people in your space, of behaving like people outside of it, was wrong. I apologize to you and your readers. In the future, I will try to remember who might be reading what I write.
Again, my apologies.
No problem, no apologies necessary.😁 But yeah, I think you're far less alone in your feelings than you seem to think. Only a very few people would ridicule you for saying that. And many of them, only because they're too scared to admit it themselves.
Steve, our conversation nagged at me. After I thought it over, I decided to return.
Gaging one's audience is important. On your substack page, we pay money to read your work – and it is fair to assume people here are interested in conversations with you and like-minded people. Hence, my assuming on these people was wrong, and you rightly brought that to my attention.
You also write on Medium and I read your work in both places. In the future, I must try to keep these different audiences in mind.
That said, I’ve been saying what I wrote here, in public, for a very, very long time and I was responding to the responses I’ve received in real life – I was not imagining or exaggerating them.
Here in the virtual world, civic activists are safer than those of us who work in full public view. In fact, I do not know one civic activist or organizer working in the real world who has NOT faced real threats and real violence at one time or another.
Surprisingly enough, the behaviour we’ve all been seeing at school board meetings this year, over CRT, library books, the 1619 project, and history classes has been going on in rural communities for 20+ years. Since the media does not cover rural communities, most Americans never knew this was happening until it had moved into the suburbs.
I liken it to the canary in the cage miners take down into mines. People in rural communities have been coping with on-line violence spilling over into real life for a very long time. I first encountered it fifteen years ago.
In 2007, our small-town, rural newspaper had just started an on-line comment section, when some serious problems emerged in our school district. By the time anonymous people in our little town newspaper’s virtual world were done with me, my home had been torched (arson), my car had thousands of dollars in damage, and my children, my employees and I had coped with dozens of filthy, disgusting, vile, threatening letters and packages containing realistic toy guns, knives and bombs mailed to my home and business. And I had spent 18 months under police protection.
If you wonder what I did to attract this kind of attention, here is the answer. Racism and the corruption it cultivates in rural institutions, such as schools, hospitals, policing, economic development, and housing is rampant. I’d taken a firm stand against racism and corruption in our school district for a very long time. Suddenly, when our school district was faced with state receivership, 64% of local voters put me on our school board.
Cleaning house wasn’t easy, and opposition to my efforts led to a recall election. Following a two year long, expensive and heated recall campaign, 61% of local voters kept me in office.
At the time, no one could figure out why the opposition (aka recall proponents) spent more than $50,000. to recall me – when the next regular election for my seat would be just 3 months after a recall election could possibly be held. We could not figure out why the Republican party (I mean that literally) paid for large 4 color glossy postcards and mailing costs in a small school district in the middle of dumb-f—k nowhere. We could not figure out why a Washington DC lobbyist (I mean that literally too) organized and ran the recall campaign against me. Harder still, in the midst of the 2008/2009 global economic crisis, and housing market crash, that recall election cost our school district over $100,000.
Steve, can you figure any of that out? Does any of that make sense to you?
Well, we finally figured it out. I had been used as an example. After seeing what happened to people who fought racism and corruption, people refused to risk their families and businesses by serving in local office. As a result, ultra-conservative candidates ran un-opposed in local elections and ended up controlling every local government agency in our community. Using me as an example turned out to be a dirt-cheap way for the Republican Party to assume control of rural communities. And they did it all across America.
I am not whining or asking for sympathy. I am simply saying that activists working in the real world confront very different experiences than activists in the virtual world.
Obviously, I had tons of support, but I have never felt as alone as I did, when I was a target in the real world. While that did not happen here, in your space, I thought explaining it might help inform discussion. :)
"I’ve been saying what I wrote here, in public, for a very, very long time and I was responding to the responses I’ve received in real life – I was not imagining or exaggerating them."
I feel like there's a layer to this conversation that I'm missing. In fact, I kind of had that feeling from your first post. You spoke about the importance of saying what you're *for*. Even though I think I've done so many times before. In fact, you asked me to do so directly. And as part of that request, you explained your reasons:
"My reason is that I want a peaceful life where I can spend my time with the people I love, doing the work I love, in places that I love. That’s it."
Now, I don't know you. I don't know where you live or who you spend time with. I don't know about your personal experiences. All I can respond to is the words you write on the screen. And the quote above is just so perfectly reasonable and universal that I can't see how 99% of people would have any problem with it.
I'm not accusing you of imagining anything, I'm not saying you're exaggerating, I'm saying that If you're expecting people to laugh, or make fun of you, or tell you to "grow the f*ck up," for saying *this* I don't think the people you're talking about are representative of most people.
The abuse you describe above sounds absolutely awful. I know a thing or two about abuse myself, both online and in real life, though nothing on this level. Any body would feel alone if they were treated like this. But I didn't say that activists in real life don't face different challenges to those online. Nor did anybody in the conversation.
I really hope it doesn't feel like I'm trying to dismiss what you're saying. I'm not. I just don't understand where this is coming from.