Amen. I agree with your analysis and most of the responses. I'll offer a slightly different view from my life - somewhat of a self-esteem issue fed by media/culture/etc. If you feel down or like you're not successful, it's nice to yearn for group solidarity. Some find this in beliefs (church) or practice (sports group), etc - these are a…
Amen. I agree with your analysis and most of the responses. I'll offer a slightly different view from my life - somewhat of a self-esteem issue fed by media/culture/etc. If you feel down or like you're not successful, it's nice to yearn for group solidarity. Some find this in beliefs (church) or practice (sports group), etc - these are all positive forms of solidarity. The laziest and most negative way of all is to say "my skin is dark and I have curly hair texture". My life is unsatisfactory because of how I look. And there's a new book, slavery movie, or NYT editorial all the time to feed into that. There is no encouragement for positive engagement, forward-looking building, etc. My heritage is very mixed so I was on the outside of all the groups, I suppose it was natural for me to see through this all some years ago. I am very much a "race abolitionist" and think it obscures or confounds almost every cultural problem we have, making it worse. I always enter "human" in the surveys and try to talk to people who are trying to "do better". I've seen it first hand in my own workplace (I used to get jokes about my skin color, and it didn't bother me at all! they assumed I was a different "race" and it impacted nothing of value) and now at society at large. Most troublingly in "decolonizing" science and "anti-racist" medicine. The child's way is the best way. May we be wise enough to grow young.
"My life is unsatisfactory because of how I look. And there's a new book, slavery movie, or NYT editorial all the time to feed into that"
Ugh, this is so true and so infuriating. And I get it. I saw the women in my family struggling with their hair because they thought their tight afros weren't beautiful enough. I saw how difficult it was for them to find stylists who had any idea what to do with it. But I also saw the self hypnosis some of them put themselves under, repeating the mantra that men only liked "blonde bimbos." Telling themselves that nobody wanted to date them and sabotaging themselves because of it.
Even today, I notice how reflexively some of them exaggerate the struggles of life as a black person. And I know that if they thought they could get away with it, they'd tell me I didn't know what I was talking about when I call them out for it.
As with several issues that affect black people, there are problems from without and within. There's no denying that there are ways in which society doesn't treat black people and white people as equals. But some black people refuse to see how they themselves uphold that narrative in their minds in ways that make it far worse than it is.
Amen. I agree with your analysis and most of the responses. I'll offer a slightly different view from my life - somewhat of a self-esteem issue fed by media/culture/etc. If you feel down or like you're not successful, it's nice to yearn for group solidarity. Some find this in beliefs (church) or practice (sports group), etc - these are all positive forms of solidarity. The laziest and most negative way of all is to say "my skin is dark and I have curly hair texture". My life is unsatisfactory because of how I look. And there's a new book, slavery movie, or NYT editorial all the time to feed into that. There is no encouragement for positive engagement, forward-looking building, etc. My heritage is very mixed so I was on the outside of all the groups, I suppose it was natural for me to see through this all some years ago. I am very much a "race abolitionist" and think it obscures or confounds almost every cultural problem we have, making it worse. I always enter "human" in the surveys and try to talk to people who are trying to "do better". I've seen it first hand in my own workplace (I used to get jokes about my skin color, and it didn't bother me at all! they assumed I was a different "race" and it impacted nothing of value) and now at society at large. Most troublingly in "decolonizing" science and "anti-racist" medicine. The child's way is the best way. May we be wise enough to grow young.
"My life is unsatisfactory because of how I look. And there's a new book, slavery movie, or NYT editorial all the time to feed into that"
Ugh, this is so true and so infuriating. And I get it. I saw the women in my family struggling with their hair because they thought their tight afros weren't beautiful enough. I saw how difficult it was for them to find stylists who had any idea what to do with it. But I also saw the self hypnosis some of them put themselves under, repeating the mantra that men only liked "blonde bimbos." Telling themselves that nobody wanted to date them and sabotaging themselves because of it.
Even today, I notice how reflexively some of them exaggerate the struggles of life as a black person. And I know that if they thought they could get away with it, they'd tell me I didn't know what I was talking about when I call them out for it.
As with several issues that affect black people, there are problems from without and within. There's no denying that there are ways in which society doesn't treat black people and white people as equals. But some black people refuse to see how they themselves uphold that narrative in their minds in ways that make it far worse than it is.
Entirely agreed. I see all sides of it here personally.