It's not fair that victims have to do the work of moving beyond the trauma, but that's how it's been for humanity for millions of years, whether it's 'shit happens' (Maui fires destroy your entire 'hood) or someone does something intentionally horrible to you. It's not fair, but we all know what our parents tell us when we complain about…
It's not fair that victims have to do the work of moving beyond the trauma, but that's how it's been for humanity for millions of years, whether it's 'shit happens' (Maui fires destroy your entire 'hood) or someone does something intentionally horrible to you. It's not fair, but we all know what our parents tell us when we complain about that.
What many of today's young people don't understand, have never been taught I guess, is emotional resilience. It's been noted that suicide is higher for white men than black men; one theory why is that growing up in a racist society teaches one emotional resilience. A similar theory has been offered for why women seem to handle living alone better than many men; being alone before marriage, and then marriage where many of them still feel very alone, teaches them how to live with the loneliness.
Unfortunately, letting yourself be triggered by words is one's *choice* - I hope Julia finds the help she needs. Don't know if she needs professional help or not, but if she can't afford it, she can find support elsewhere. That was one of the earliest positive uses of the Internet, esp back in the largley AOL/Prodigy/The WELL days - finding your tribe and providing support (AIDS, breast cancer, 'coming out', various mental health struggles).
It's not fair that victims have to do the work of moving beyond the trauma, but that's how it's been for humanity for millions of years, whether it's 'shit happens' (Maui fires destroy your entire 'hood) or someone does something intentionally horrible to you. It's not fair, but we all know what our parents tell us when we complain about that.
What many of today's young people don't understand, have never been taught I guess, is emotional resilience. It's been noted that suicide is higher for white men than black men; one theory why is that growing up in a racist society teaches one emotional resilience. A similar theory has been offered for why women seem to handle living alone better than many men; being alone before marriage, and then marriage where many of them still feel very alone, teaches them how to live with the loneliness.
Unfortunately, letting yourself be triggered by words is one's *choice* - I hope Julia finds the help she needs. Don't know if she needs professional help or not, but if she can't afford it, she can find support elsewhere. That was one of the earliest positive uses of the Internet, esp back in the largley AOL/Prodigy/The WELL days - finding your tribe and providing support (AIDS, breast cancer, 'coming out', various mental health struggles).