"social currency of victimhood confers power on victims. So, no surprise that the definition of who is a "victim" explodes. It's almost a competition now."
Right. And it offers an ever-present excuse for bad behaviour that few people will be willing to challenge. After all, who wants to be the jerk questioning somebody's trauma reaction? …
"social currency of victimhood confers power on victims. So, no surprise that the definition of who is a "victim" explodes. It's almost a competition now."
Right. And it offers an ever-present excuse for bad behaviour that few people will be willing to challenge. After all, who wants to be the jerk questioning somebody's trauma reaction? Even if they're obviously being disingenuous.
Resilience, I think, has been one of the casualties of the war on masculinity. And it's a fine line. Too much resilience *can* look a lot like the stoic, don't talk about your feelings, bottle everything up brand of manliness that breeds school shooters and wife-beaters. It's important for the manliest of men to know when and how to talk about their feelings.
But too little resilience gives us the fragile, self-obsessed, everything that doesn't make me feel "validated" is hate, mindset we're seeing today.
As Haidt put it, what doesn't kill you makes you weaker.
You’re right, it’s a fine line. We’re way over it.
Stoicism gets a bad rap. The mental approach you expressed in the post is stoic--focus on what you can control versus what you can’t. I am a huge fan of Epictetus. Stoicism has little to do with suppressing your emotions. To the contrary, it’s the one thing you CAN control. And yes, people should control their emotions. That doesn’t mean don’t express them, only that they are not an excuse for selfishness or bad behavior. That is Epictetus’ message.
Nor do I think that stoicism, properly understood, has anything to do with school shooters, who are usually emotionally stunted cowards, not stoics. Ditto wife beaters. They are the opposite of stoics.
Nor do I think that stoicism is necessarily masculine. I agree with second wave feminism that that is a harmful stereotype.
Resilience is a virtue that has no gender. Other than that, I fully agree with what you say, Steve.
"social currency of victimhood confers power on victims. So, no surprise that the definition of who is a "victim" explodes. It's almost a competition now."
Right. And it offers an ever-present excuse for bad behaviour that few people will be willing to challenge. After all, who wants to be the jerk questioning somebody's trauma reaction? Even if they're obviously being disingenuous.
Resilience, I think, has been one of the casualties of the war on masculinity. And it's a fine line. Too much resilience *can* look a lot like the stoic, don't talk about your feelings, bottle everything up brand of manliness that breeds school shooters and wife-beaters. It's important for the manliest of men to know when and how to talk about their feelings.
But too little resilience gives us the fragile, self-obsessed, everything that doesn't make me feel "validated" is hate, mindset we're seeing today.
As Haidt put it, what doesn't kill you makes you weaker.
You’re right, it’s a fine line. We’re way over it.
Stoicism gets a bad rap. The mental approach you expressed in the post is stoic--focus on what you can control versus what you can’t. I am a huge fan of Epictetus. Stoicism has little to do with suppressing your emotions. To the contrary, it’s the one thing you CAN control. And yes, people should control their emotions. That doesn’t mean don’t express them, only that they are not an excuse for selfishness or bad behavior. That is Epictetus’ message.
Nor do I think that stoicism, properly understood, has anything to do with school shooters, who are usually emotionally stunted cowards, not stoics. Ditto wife beaters. They are the opposite of stoics.
Nor do I think that stoicism is necessarily masculine. I agree with second wave feminism that that is a harmful stereotype.
Resilience is a virtue that has no gender. Other than that, I fully agree with what you say, Steve.