2 Comments
User's avatar
⭠ Return to thread
jen segal's avatar

Empathy is everything. Skin color is not. I find the ability to connect with another person entirely dependent on the degree to which they embrace empathy as a way to build understanding.

Of note, we recently visited a relative who had spent the Covid time encased in fear and at home. I get fear. It’s scary. But this experience blinded them to the incredible adverse costs borne by those that couldn’t hide at home - those that had to be out there, in the mix, day after day. So our inputs to the discussion were met with a kind of condescending ‘there, there’ pat on the head and ‘gee, you’re so angry’ but it was all ok because hey, they were safe. Empathy score = 0.

I don’t discount real experience - I just think it’s an over used metric of what matters. Of course what you lived through informs who you are - but how do you live your life? Do you act with integrity toward other people? You don’t get a pass from me because someone crapped in your space - everyone has that experience. What do you do after? That’s what matters - how you stand up and how you go forward.

Expand full comment
Steve QJ's avatar

"Of course what you lived through informs who you are - but how do you live your life?"

Yep, exactly. To what extent does your personality affect your perception of the world, for example? Or your levels of self-esteem? Or blind luck? Experience is, by definition, subjective.

This doesn't mean it's useless, but it does mean we can't use it as the one true path to knowledge.

Expand full comment