"if there is any possible way to interpret my words as talking down to you, you will seize upon that interpretation and not give consideration or weight to any more benign interpretation."
Let me start by saying that on reflection, I shouldn't have added that bit about "the reactions that are frustrating you." I see how that could easily …
"if there is any possible way to interpret my words as talking down to you, you will seize upon that interpretation and not give consideration or weight to any more benign interpretation."
Let me start by saying that on reflection, I shouldn't have added that bit about "the reactions that are frustrating you." I see how that could easily be interpreted as a snipe. I apologise.
I think a significant part of this reset, at least for me, will be to stop analysing past disagreements or misinterpretations. We obviously have our own ways of communicating and view the words we read through our own lenses, so as you say here, the best way forward is just to assume good intent from each other.
Even if I wasn't already convinced of your sincerity, which I was, your reply here underlines your desire to move forward more positively. A desire which I absolutely share.
My only real quibble is with the quote above. I can promise you that there is no intent or desire to interpret your words as talking down to me. And I don't think the interpretation has anything to do with anything in our past. I believe I'd interpret them the same way even if this was the first time I'd seen them and they were directed at somebody else. Again, to be clear, not as deliberately condescending, they just come across as kind of patronising. I 100% believe that isn't your intention, and that settles the matter as far as I'm concerned.
Having all your interactions with somebody be as words on a screen removes all of the nuance that would, I'm sure, immediately resolve these misunderstandings. And often, we don't even write the same way we speak, so more scope for misunderstanding presents itself. I really appreciate your reply. If you're happy to, I'm ready to close the door on this and be internet buds.
I have great appreciation for you and the products of your amazing mind. Even if I disagree at times, much more often I agree with at least the main points, maybe everything.
(Alas, I do realize that I spend more words on trying to describe and explain the disagreements, while just briefly noting the agreements - so it could seem as if I'm mostly at odds with you. It's more that when I agree, there us usually much less to say! If you nailed it; I don't have to go over that point by point; at most I might add some additional facets at times. But if I disagree, even with 1/20 of what you wrote, I try to explain *why*, the shape of it. I can see how that might give a distorted view).
I would be honored to be internet buds. I'd likely enjoy being in person buds even more if you were local, with the greater richness of communication compared to "words on a screen", as you say.
"if there is any possible way to interpret my words as talking down to you, you will seize upon that interpretation and not give consideration or weight to any more benign interpretation."
Let me start by saying that on reflection, I shouldn't have added that bit about "the reactions that are frustrating you." I see how that could easily be interpreted as a snipe. I apologise.
I think a significant part of this reset, at least for me, will be to stop analysing past disagreements or misinterpretations. We obviously have our own ways of communicating and view the words we read through our own lenses, so as you say here, the best way forward is just to assume good intent from each other.
Even if I wasn't already convinced of your sincerity, which I was, your reply here underlines your desire to move forward more positively. A desire which I absolutely share.
My only real quibble is with the quote above. I can promise you that there is no intent or desire to interpret your words as talking down to me. And I don't think the interpretation has anything to do with anything in our past. I believe I'd interpret them the same way even if this was the first time I'd seen them and they were directed at somebody else. Again, to be clear, not as deliberately condescending, they just come across as kind of patronising. I 100% believe that isn't your intention, and that settles the matter as far as I'm concerned.
Having all your interactions with somebody be as words on a screen removes all of the nuance that would, I'm sure, immediately resolve these misunderstandings. And often, we don't even write the same way we speak, so more scope for misunderstanding presents itself. I really appreciate your reply. If you're happy to, I'm ready to close the door on this and be internet buds.
Absolutely.
I have great appreciation for you and the products of your amazing mind. Even if I disagree at times, much more often I agree with at least the main points, maybe everything.
(Alas, I do realize that I spend more words on trying to describe and explain the disagreements, while just briefly noting the agreements - so it could seem as if I'm mostly at odds with you. It's more that when I agree, there us usually much less to say! If you nailed it; I don't have to go over that point by point; at most I might add some additional facets at times. But if I disagree, even with 1/20 of what you wrote, I try to explain *why*, the shape of it. I can see how that might give a distorted view).
I would be honored to be internet buds. I'd likely enjoy being in person buds even more if you were local, with the greater richness of communication compared to "words on a screen", as you say.
If we stumble, let's pick ourselves up.