“ Google and Youtube search box with "motivational speaker" can help you find a lot of these people”
Come on now, this is silly. The fact that there are lots of motivational speakers in the world does not mean there are lots of people speaking accurately and empathetic ally to young men about the problems they face.
“ Google and Youtube search box with "motivational speaker" can help you find a lot of these people”
Come on now, this is silly. The fact that there are lots of motivational speakers in the world does not mean there are lots of people speaking accurately and empathetic ally to young men about the problems they face.
“ One has to ask why "incels" are not socializing with their parents,”
One has to ask why the only way you can conceive of struggling young men is that they’re incels or part of the “manosphere.” I know the clue is in your name, but come on. How are you so comfortable embracing such a one dimensional view?
I’m right in the middle of writing an article that starts with the story of Elliott Rodger. I’m familiar with incels. If you think those freaks represent young men, you’ve lost the plot.
All that said, yes, Dr. K is absolutely fantastic. I really admire him and the work he’s doing. Not familiar with Hamza. But yes, better than Tate isn’t too high a bar. I would love to see more people like Dr K out there. Truly. Sadly, I think the reason his audience isn’t ten times larger is just that he doesn’t attest the drama that kids of all ages and sexes are drawn to.
Incel just means involuntarily celibate, not necessarily homicidal maniac. The media keeps pushing out this narrative of "young men are sexless, young men are lonely" and that's the root of their issues. That's why I refer to "incels" a lot. Hamza is far above Tate as he's not a criminal and doesn't spew hateful rhetoric .
"Incel just means involuntarily celibate, not necessarily homicidal maniac."
This is a bit like arguing that Nazi just means national socialist, no? Incel is widely used in a pejorative sense to describe weak, bitter, failed men whose self-loathing has turned--or is just about to turn--into a deep hatred of women.
It functions in exactly the same way as terms like "Karen" and "feminazi" and "woke"; to collectivise a bunch of people to avoid the danger of thinking about them seriously and accidentally humanising them.
Maybe you're in a different bubble to me, but I very rarely see the narrative you're describing. The news media very rarely talks about young men in any meaningful, empathetic way. And even more rarely in a positive or productive way.
Incels in the online world have only themselves to blame for their bad reputation considering that forums are chockful of comments and posts praising Eliot Rodger and other killers, what to speak of the general hateful rants about "foids" and others.
The term "incel" was first coined over a decade ago by a WOMAN (if I recall correctly, a lesbian) who used it to describe her situation.
The news media are churning out a lot of pieces about the "epidemic" of loneliness and, get this, sexlessness, of young men today. Especially conservatives and the right wing somehow think sexlessness amongst unmarried men is now somehow a problem.
“Incels in the online world have only themselves to blame for their bad reputation”
I’m not sure how to make this point any clearer than I already have. I’m not defending “incels.” I’m not speaking up for the people idolising Rodger or going on hateful rants about women. I’m trying, in what feels increasingly like a futile effort, to help you see that the vast majority of young men don’t fall into this category.
The commonly understood meanings of words change. “Woke” didn’t always mean what it generally means today. Nor did “Karen.”
I’ve not seen the pieces you’re talking about. Again, we probably get our news from different algorithms. But whether or not you think it’s silly, sexual (and the attendant romantic), relationships are really important to most young men. The changing rules of these relationships, brought on by many factors including the rise of online dating and the unrealistic expectations of social media, are extremely difficult for many men to navigate. And are worth talking about as far as they’re concerned (especially given that men are still almost exclusively *expected* to navigate them).
I strongly suspect the way conservative media is talking about it isn’t the way I’d like to see it talked about. But that doesn’t make the whole issue meaningless.
"I’ve not seen the pieces you’re talking about. Again, we probably get our news from different algorithms. "
I'm not talking about "news" I'm talking about incel forums.
"the vast majority of young men don’t fall into this category."
I work with some to help them develop male friendships, communal living spaces, bond with their families of origin as well as volunteer in their neighborhoods. These are things these young men need and they are doable. Romantic relationships may never happen for many of them and they need to acknowledge that, move on, and create relationships where they can instead of living in a fantasy world that devolves into depression.
“ Google and Youtube search box with "motivational speaker" can help you find a lot of these people”
Come on now, this is silly. The fact that there are lots of motivational speakers in the world does not mean there are lots of people speaking accurately and empathetic ally to young men about the problems they face.
“ One has to ask why "incels" are not socializing with their parents,”
One has to ask why the only way you can conceive of struggling young men is that they’re incels or part of the “manosphere.” I know the clue is in your name, but come on. How are you so comfortable embracing such a one dimensional view?
I’m right in the middle of writing an article that starts with the story of Elliott Rodger. I’m familiar with incels. If you think those freaks represent young men, you’ve lost the plot.
All that said, yes, Dr. K is absolutely fantastic. I really admire him and the work he’s doing. Not familiar with Hamza. But yes, better than Tate isn’t too high a bar. I would love to see more people like Dr K out there. Truly. Sadly, I think the reason his audience isn’t ten times larger is just that he doesn’t attest the drama that kids of all ages and sexes are drawn to.
Incel just means involuntarily celibate, not necessarily homicidal maniac. The media keeps pushing out this narrative of "young men are sexless, young men are lonely" and that's the root of their issues. That's why I refer to "incels" a lot. Hamza is far above Tate as he's not a criminal and doesn't spew hateful rhetoric .
"Incel just means involuntarily celibate, not necessarily homicidal maniac."
This is a bit like arguing that Nazi just means national socialist, no? Incel is widely used in a pejorative sense to describe weak, bitter, failed men whose self-loathing has turned--or is just about to turn--into a deep hatred of women.
It functions in exactly the same way as terms like "Karen" and "feminazi" and "woke"; to collectivise a bunch of people to avoid the danger of thinking about them seriously and accidentally humanising them.
Maybe you're in a different bubble to me, but I very rarely see the narrative you're describing. The news media very rarely talks about young men in any meaningful, empathetic way. And even more rarely in a positive or productive way.
Incels in the online world have only themselves to blame for their bad reputation considering that forums are chockful of comments and posts praising Eliot Rodger and other killers, what to speak of the general hateful rants about "foids" and others.
The term "incel" was first coined over a decade ago by a WOMAN (if I recall correctly, a lesbian) who used it to describe her situation.
The news media are churning out a lot of pieces about the "epidemic" of loneliness and, get this, sexlessness, of young men today. Especially conservatives and the right wing somehow think sexlessness amongst unmarried men is now somehow a problem.
“Incels in the online world have only themselves to blame for their bad reputation”
I’m not sure how to make this point any clearer than I already have. I’m not defending “incels.” I’m not speaking up for the people idolising Rodger or going on hateful rants about women. I’m trying, in what feels increasingly like a futile effort, to help you see that the vast majority of young men don’t fall into this category.
The commonly understood meanings of words change. “Woke” didn’t always mean what it generally means today. Nor did “Karen.”
I’ve not seen the pieces you’re talking about. Again, we probably get our news from different algorithms. But whether or not you think it’s silly, sexual (and the attendant romantic), relationships are really important to most young men. The changing rules of these relationships, brought on by many factors including the rise of online dating and the unrealistic expectations of social media, are extremely difficult for many men to navigate. And are worth talking about as far as they’re concerned (especially given that men are still almost exclusively *expected* to navigate them).
I strongly suspect the way conservative media is talking about it isn’t the way I’d like to see it talked about. But that doesn’t make the whole issue meaningless.
"I’ve not seen the pieces you’re talking about. Again, we probably get our news from different algorithms. "
I'm not talking about "news" I'm talking about incel forums.
"the vast majority of young men don’t fall into this category."
I work with some to help them develop male friendships, communal living spaces, bond with their families of origin as well as volunteer in their neighborhoods. These are things these young men need and they are doable. Romantic relationships may never happen for many of them and they need to acknowledge that, move on, and create relationships where they can instead of living in a fantasy world that devolves into depression.