"They are defensive because they (correctly) feel it is attacked."
Yeah exactly. There's a degree to which it's always reasonable to get defensive if you're being attacked. Even if you're not insecure about the thing you're being attacked *for*. To degree, the mere existence of the attack justifies defensiveness, right? But it's the level…
"They are defensive because they (correctly) feel it is attacked."
Yeah exactly. There's a degree to which it's always reasonable to get defensive if you're being attacked. Even if you're not insecure about the thing you're being attacked *for*. To degree, the mere existence of the attack justifies defensiveness, right? But it's the level and nature of the defensiveness that's the issue.
If somebody continually tries to make fun of my height, say, I'll eventually get annoyed about it, even though I'm over 6 feet. But not because I'm not confident about my height, because it's annoying to have somebody try to attack you over anything.
The issue with the n-word is the disproportionate level of upset it causes. About a trait that should never be a negative in the mind of the person hearing it. If somebody calls me a n****er, depending on my mood that day, I might be offended that they're trying to attack me. But my offence isn't caused by the *way* they're trying to attack me. If anything, the fact that I immediately think so little of anybody who would use that word as na attack would make whatever they had to say easier to ignore.
"They are defensive because they (correctly) feel it is attacked."
Yeah exactly. There's a degree to which it's always reasonable to get defensive if you're being attacked. Even if you're not insecure about the thing you're being attacked *for*. To degree, the mere existence of the attack justifies defensiveness, right? But it's the level and nature of the defensiveness that's the issue.
If somebody continually tries to make fun of my height, say, I'll eventually get annoyed about it, even though I'm over 6 feet. But not because I'm not confident about my height, because it's annoying to have somebody try to attack you over anything.
The issue with the n-word is the disproportionate level of upset it causes. About a trait that should never be a negative in the mind of the person hearing it. If somebody calls me a n****er, depending on my mood that day, I might be offended that they're trying to attack me. But my offence isn't caused by the *way* they're trying to attack me. If anything, the fact that I immediately think so little of anybody who would use that word as na attack would make whatever they had to say easier to ignore.