"used to define not just a person but an attitude, a work ethic, a lifestyle, everything that embodies being a person, all of it negative."
Yeah, I understand where you're coming from here too, I guess this is where we have to seriously consider intent (something that people in social justice seem hell-bent on ignoring lately). If somebody uses the n-word in a quote, or when reading Mark Twain, that's very different to using it as a slur. And the disproportionate power this word has comes from our failure to acknowledge the difference.
I'd never criticise somebody for being offended if it's used as a slur against them. When somebody uses it as a slur, their *intention* is to offend. It's reasonable to take that intention personally regardless of the words used. But if the word is used in a way that clearly isn't intended to offend or attack anybody, it's infantilising to pretend that it's reasonable for an adult to fall to pieces over it.
I think I've ever used the word once in conversation in my entire life. As you say, it's extremely rare that there's any need to use it. Especially if you're capable of thinking an d speaking coherently. But the word can't lose its power if it retains its *ultimate taboo* status.
Growing up in the '60s in Florida, my mother taught me the eeny meeny miney moe verse but she said 'tiger' instead of the n-word which was commonly used in the South, although I don't remember the other kids saying it. She explained how others used the n-word with the verse although by then she didn't need to explain why it was wrong...that's one of the earliest conversations I can remember having with my mother, before I was in school....black people and how they are NEVER to be called ugly names, esp not that one.
"used to define not just a person but an attitude, a work ethic, a lifestyle, everything that embodies being a person, all of it negative."
Yeah, I understand where you're coming from here too, I guess this is where we have to seriously consider intent (something that people in social justice seem hell-bent on ignoring lately). If somebody uses the n-word in a quote, or when reading Mark Twain, that's very different to using it as a slur. And the disproportionate power this word has comes from our failure to acknowledge the difference.
I'd never criticise somebody for being offended if it's used as a slur against them. When somebody uses it as a slur, their *intention* is to offend. It's reasonable to take that intention personally regardless of the words used. But if the word is used in a way that clearly isn't intended to offend or attack anybody, it's infantilising to pretend that it's reasonable for an adult to fall to pieces over it.
I think I've ever used the word once in conversation in my entire life. As you say, it's extremely rare that there's any need to use it. Especially if you're capable of thinking an d speaking coherently. But the word can't lose its power if it retains its *ultimate taboo* status.
Growing up in the '60s in Florida, my mother taught me the eeny meeny miney moe verse but she said 'tiger' instead of the n-word which was commonly used in the South, although I don't remember the other kids saying it. She explained how others used the n-word with the verse although by then she didn't need to explain why it was wrong...that's one of the earliest conversations I can remember having with my mother, before I was in school....black people and how they are NEVER to be called ugly names, esp not that one.