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I grew up in a strange and violent home. The perpetrator was my very intelligent, extremely emotionally disturbed mother, who was also a prescription drug addict. The focus of her hatred towards men was taken out on my father, an ordinary good hearted man who totally supported my mom, me and my 2 half sisters who he adopted. (My mom didn…
I grew up in a strange and violent home. The perpetrator was my very intelligent, extremely emotionally disturbed mother, who was also a prescription drug addict. The focus of her hatred towards men was taken out on my father, an ordinary good hearted man who totally supported my mom, me and my 2 half sisters who he adopted. (My mom didn't work outside the home until I was in highschool.) Without going into the horrific details, suffice to say he had scars all over his body and a trail of humiliation from that woman. He stayed because of us kids. Until she locked him out of the house and took him 'to the cleaners' in a divorce. He was born in 1930. Men of that generation didn't talk about being abused. He later said he had no idea there were people like my mom and that he never hated her. Amazing! I want people to know and hear the men's side of a story. Abused and marginalized men are out there a plenty. May they find a safe place to speak. May we open our hearts and listen.
Wow, what a story. Thank you Ruth.
I truly feel for men in this position. Because, as well as their own issues with speaking up, there is so little room for them to be heard. Some people, who are compassionate in many other contexts, will struggle to even hear a story like this without turning it into some kind of competition. So many many just don't bother.
Thank you for listening Steve. Would it be ok to publish this or a similar writing on Medium? I'm not sure of the etiquette of publishing a comment as a new story.
Hi Ruth, yes of course! Feel free.
I've got a friend who was married to an abusive and physically violent woman. When the cops showed up it with the assumption that he was the bad guy and he's even been placed in the back of a squad car in handcuff before they figured out the issue was her. He wasn't a man who would use violence with her. They ended up divorced which was tough on him as a devout catholic.
Unfortunately, I feel that even in today's world men abused by women are uncomfortable speaking out. Other men might judge them. Yet I believe it happens often.
I have no idea how common it is and my friend did not widely discuss it. I do suspect that it may be more of a two way street than is openly discussed.
The strangest case I witnessed was a couple that was friends with my wife and me. We were following them down Racetrack Road in Ft Walton Beach fifty years ago. They pulled over to the side of the road. I pulled in behind them thinking they had car trouble. They both got out of the car and started Kung Fu fighting! Seriously, fists and feet. Their marriage didn't last.
We went back several years after we moved away to visit another couple. She had a big black eye. He had been out messing around and when he came home she hit him in the head with a frying pan. When he came to he punched her in the eye. Another failed marriage. They had two beautiful children.
As a side note, so much for the myth of the subservient Asian woman. Both women were Thai.