There is nothing that grates so much on my nerves as that particular, "But I luuuuuuuv him!"
I suspect it is, Chris. In Nicole Brown's case, like a lot of women of my generation, they didn't really quesiton what was going on. Nicole's mom wasn't abused, but she was controlled, he was quietly dominant. She never taught her daughter that it…
There is nothing that grates so much on my nerves as that particular, "But I luuuuuuuv him!"
I suspect it is, Chris. In Nicole Brown's case, like a lot of women of my generation, they didn't really quesiton what was going on. Nicole's mom wasn't abused, but she was controlled, he was quietly dominant. She never taught her daughter that it was never acceptable for a man to hit or otherwise assault a woman, probably because she didn't know it herself. Many women accept that "Well that's just how men are," thing. Well, look around you. Not *every* woman is getting the shit kicked out of her by the man she loves. What are those other women doing (or not) that you don't know about?
I was lucky enough to have a mother who drilled it into my head what was acceptable, and unacceptable behaviour in a man. "Nicole, the first time he hits you is his last! You leave him! You never look back!" I've never been hit by a male partner. I don't tolerate it. I don't *allow* controlling, denigrating, abusive behaviour, out of his mouth or from his fists.
I don't know what the evolutionary function this serves but it probably has something to do with keeping the family together - at least until their children are old enough to function on their own. But I'm just guessing.
I get really, really aggravated with 'feminists' who refuse to acknowledge how much victims can collaborate in their own abuse. The abuser is always 100% responsible for his behaviour but every time she goes back to him she gives him permission to hurt her again. I tell feminists....
Thankfully today's young women are much less likely to put up with even being annoyed by a man for very long, abuse is out of the question. That's what's got "conservatives" all riled up crying over "sexless men" and "plummeting birthrates".
True, but not enough yet. I'm trying to figure out how to get young women, possible future mothers, to understand they should never accept abuse in a relationship and to teach their daughters never to tolerate it. I'm also curious as to the dynamics behind the reverse - men abused by female partners. I'm pretty sure the dynamics are different since these guys can almost always defend themselves against violence, unlike the reverse, but they don't for legal reasons (or because they were taught never to hit a girl - which happened to my ex - who never hit back his physically abusive then-wife).
If the sex is good men will tolerate a lot. Where do you think the trope of "crazy women are the best in bed" comes from? If the "crazy" shows up in physical abuse, since they are most times physically stronger than women, a slap or even a punch isn't going to feel as bad or do as much damage as a man hitting a woman so they probably think "that didn't hurt, I can take it." They also probably think the first time is a one-off and won't turn into a habit.
The pathologies seem to be closely related in both sexes - the willingness to be a victim for certain trade-offs - good sex, a guy who's 'otherwise a good guy', or a good provider, or whatever. With women and celebrity spouses, it might be the trade-off of being with a rich, famous guy - think Janay Palmer or Nicole Brown Simpson.
There is nothing that grates so much on my nerves as that particular, "But I luuuuuuuv him!"
I suspect it is, Chris. In Nicole Brown's case, like a lot of women of my generation, they didn't really quesiton what was going on. Nicole's mom wasn't abused, but she was controlled, he was quietly dominant. She never taught her daughter that it was never acceptable for a man to hit or otherwise assault a woman, probably because she didn't know it herself. Many women accept that "Well that's just how men are," thing. Well, look around you. Not *every* woman is getting the shit kicked out of her by the man she loves. What are those other women doing (or not) that you don't know about?
I was lucky enough to have a mother who drilled it into my head what was acceptable, and unacceptable behaviour in a man. "Nicole, the first time he hits you is his last! You leave him! You never look back!" I've never been hit by a male partner. I don't tolerate it. I don't *allow* controlling, denigrating, abusive behaviour, out of his mouth or from his fists.
I don't know what the evolutionary function this serves but it probably has something to do with keeping the family together - at least until their children are old enough to function on their own. But I'm just guessing.
I get really, really aggravated with 'feminists' who refuse to acknowledge how much victims can collaborate in their own abuse. The abuser is always 100% responsible for his behaviour but every time she goes back to him she gives him permission to hurt her again. I tell feminists....
"He can't hit a woman who isn't there!"
Thankfully today's young women are much less likely to put up with even being annoyed by a man for very long, abuse is out of the question. That's what's got "conservatives" all riled up crying over "sexless men" and "plummeting birthrates".
True, but not enough yet. I'm trying to figure out how to get young women, possible future mothers, to understand they should never accept abuse in a relationship and to teach their daughters never to tolerate it. I'm also curious as to the dynamics behind the reverse - men abused by female partners. I'm pretty sure the dynamics are different since these guys can almost always defend themselves against violence, unlike the reverse, but they don't for legal reasons (or because they were taught never to hit a girl - which happened to my ex - who never hit back his physically abusive then-wife).
If the sex is good men will tolerate a lot. Where do you think the trope of "crazy women are the best in bed" comes from? If the "crazy" shows up in physical abuse, since they are most times physically stronger than women, a slap or even a punch isn't going to feel as bad or do as much damage as a man hitting a woman so they probably think "that didn't hurt, I can take it." They also probably think the first time is a one-off and won't turn into a habit.
The pathologies seem to be closely related in both sexes - the willingness to be a victim for certain trade-offs - good sex, a guy who's 'otherwise a good guy', or a good provider, or whatever. With women and celebrity spouses, it might be the trade-off of being with a rich, famous guy - think Janay Palmer or Nicole Brown Simpson.