If you’ve spent any time arguing on the internet, you’ve come across somebody like Van. Somebody so convinced that they’re right, that they assume anybody who disagrees with them is a liar, and there’s absolutely no possibility that they’re the ones who are missing something.
Hi Steve, just signed on. Here's a prosaic possible explanation for your complaint about people like Van: One of the things I am is an ex-pro musician. People like me are often invited to jam sessions. I try to find out who'll be participating and then I usually decline. There is a sharp dividing line between the kind of sincere amateur musician who can play an instrument but has little experience playing together with other musicians, and those who do have this kind of experience. The inexperienced amateur simply does not listen. There is virtually no communication. The amateur ponders on, noodling incessantly or sometimes playing way off key and even off-rhythm, (which I think requires a special level of detachment.) Often such jams will bring together several people like this; a solipsist's orchestra. They just have no idea how to communicate musically with each other. They don't even know what they are missing. In contrast, gather some experienced musicians together, (jazz musicians seem to listen better most), and they'll bounce ideas around, back off into a supporting role when someone takes the lead, give up the lead to someone else, and often just not play for a bit if they have nothing cogent to contribute. You can see where I'm going here. Many people can read and write. Far fewer can handle communicating ideas. If you were a fly on the wall listening in on their in-person conversations, you'd likely hear the smallest of small talk, likely of the "and he said," "and then I told her," creative transcriptions of imaginary interactions where they claim to have actually said what they later came up with in retrospect. But they do know a few politically correct words on this or that topic and they will write them in comments. It's harmony and counterpoint that are beyond them. This is why when I'm invited to a party, I usually try to find out who will be there, and I often decide not to go. :)
Bonus points for the jazz analogy! Yep, I think this nails it. Some people genuinely don't seem to realise that a conversation means listening *as well* as talking. It's also increasingly common to be absolutely certain of an opinion without ever doing the research to earn that certainty.
Hi Steve, just signed on. Here's a prosaic possible explanation for your complaint about people like Van: One of the things I am is an ex-pro musician. People like me are often invited to jam sessions. I try to find out who'll be participating and then I usually decline. There is a sharp dividing line between the kind of sincere amateur musician who can play an instrument but has little experience playing together with other musicians, and those who do have this kind of experience. The inexperienced amateur simply does not listen. There is virtually no communication. The amateur ponders on, noodling incessantly or sometimes playing way off key and even off-rhythm, (which I think requires a special level of detachment.) Often such jams will bring together several people like this; a solipsist's orchestra. They just have no idea how to communicate musically with each other. They don't even know what they are missing. In contrast, gather some experienced musicians together, (jazz musicians seem to listen better most), and they'll bounce ideas around, back off into a supporting role when someone takes the lead, give up the lead to someone else, and often just not play for a bit if they have nothing cogent to contribute. You can see where I'm going here. Many people can read and write. Far fewer can handle communicating ideas. If you were a fly on the wall listening in on their in-person conversations, you'd likely hear the smallest of small talk, likely of the "and he said," "and then I told her," creative transcriptions of imaginary interactions where they claim to have actually said what they later came up with in retrospect. But they do know a few politically correct words on this or that topic and they will write them in comments. It's harmony and counterpoint that are beyond them. This is why when I'm invited to a party, I usually try to find out who will be there, and I often decide not to go. :)
Bonus points for the jazz analogy! Yep, I think this nails it. Some people genuinely don't seem to realise that a conversation means listening *as well* as talking. It's also increasingly common to be absolutely certain of an opinion without ever doing the research to earn that certainty.