As the saying goes, if you always expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed. Set your expectations low. Fixate on worst-case scenarios. Visualise failure. What could possibly go wrong? In my article, The Remarkably Unpopular Tale Of Black Progress, I wrote about Surya Bonaly, a black figure skater who certainly wasn’t expecting the worst when she performed the first (and still only) single-legged backflip at the Olympics. Bonaly did this,
Way back when I was a grad student in CS, I missed a qualifier question, which I thought was graded incorrectly. I wrote an appeal, and while it was pending someone showed me the response from the question’s author, which was a long personal attack on the gaul I had questioning a Professor. Now, I’m Jewish and he had a definitely German name, and I did wonders if anti-semitism was the issue — his personal attack was so crazy.
But I was being hypersensitive, and I’m glad that I forced down that paranoia. Life would have been much worse had I retreated into being scared of being a victim of anti-semitism instead of participating fully in American society.
FWIW, years later, apres Google, I learned that professor came here as a Jewish refugee from the Nazis. My bad — turns out he just didn’t like being questioned by annoying students.
"FWIW, years later, apres Google, I learned that professor came here as a Jewish refugee from the Nazis. My bad — turns out he just didn’t like being questioned by annoying students."
😂 Forcing down that paranoia is a great way to put it. It's so easy to jump to conclusions when we think we've been treated unfairly. The maturity to stop that train of thought until there's some evidence to back it up is a tragically dying skill.
"I'd love to know what you think of these groups that say People of Color feel unsafe hiking in American state and national parks"
😅I can't even bear to read this.I've seen this idiocy so many times before though. Including about hiking and swimming and going to the theatre. I think this is just projection. I've seen it in countless people, of all colours, over all kinds of issues.
If you feel inferior or insecure, you have two choices. You can look inwards and work through what's causing it (this is hard), or you can blame something external and convince yourself that your inferiority complex is the fault of the outside world (this is easy). This works even better if you can find a group of people who are insecure in the same way.
The ladies who piled on are not quite my vintage but old enough that I would think they have experienced racism far beyond the idiotic, but common, racism of low expectations expressed in the link I shared above, at least years ago. That is the part that I find disappointing. They are old enough to have seen the improvement with their own eyes and experience.
Is it a matter of best is the enemy of better, or a desire to participate in the victim Olympics? I don't know and don't assume. I understand impatience even when it is an unrealistic demand. But justifying the pessimism while it may seem valid, does not address the issue that you were writing about. The damage done by that negativity. That was ignored.
I bow to option 2. And to people like you, Steve, who tirelessly seek truth and challenge rhetoric that no longer serves any of us. Does anyone remember we actually elected Obama and Michelle into the white house?!? The most gracious, savvy, articulate and beautiful president and first Lady to represent our country?!? Ever?!? People of colour my age (64 now) and older realized a dream they never dared to believe would become a reality. Despite the fact that politics took an angry nose dive in the years following, we can still see that amazing progress has occurred. Barack and Michelle continue to contribute excellent writing and perspectives about current events.
Mrs. C is a prefect example of the problem with the concept of "anti-racism" in general: by assuming racism is behind everything, one is indeed constantly on the prowl for it, and the social points one scores by finding (or thinking they found) it are truly addictive.
"When I began to grow stronger and more confident, I was able to see that men are individual human beings - just like women - and that I needed to be brave enough to open my heart and view each man as a unique person, not as a subhuman predator. This opened up my world and healed my heart. Life got better for me."
Thank you Penny. This is so important. And the saddest part is, people who are stuck in that phase of hypervigilance will view people who try to pull them out of it as the enemy. Even though the only way to heal is to find a way out of it.
As you say, the biggest problem for black America is that this mindset of victimhood and hypervigilance is extremely actively encouraged. If I were more conspiratorially minded this would be near the top of my list of conspiracy theories. I know too many people personally who are stuck in this trap.
While all humans are potentially dangerous, men are undeniably dangerous. I have recognized that throughout my lifetime but as a 6'3" man it has (perhaps foolishly) had less influence on my behavior than it has had on my 5'0" wife. She quite properly, in my opinion, exercises a degree of caution around men in isolated places.
I don't think that makes her a bigot. In her barefoot childhood she was bitten by farmer's dogs. She loves dogs, but exercises caution around dogs unknown to her.
I think that the line between appropriate caution of dangerous things and bigotry is actually clear or should be.
Way back when I was a grad student in CS, I missed a qualifier question, which I thought was graded incorrectly. I wrote an appeal, and while it was pending someone showed me the response from the question’s author, which was a long personal attack on the gaul I had questioning a Professor. Now, I’m Jewish and he had a definitely German name, and I did wonders if anti-semitism was the issue — his personal attack was so crazy.
But I was being hypersensitive, and I’m glad that I forced down that paranoia. Life would have been much worse had I retreated into being scared of being a victim of anti-semitism instead of participating fully in American society.
FWIW, years later, apres Google, I learned that professor came here as a Jewish refugee from the Nazis. My bad — turns out he just didn’t like being questioned by annoying students.
"FWIW, years later, apres Google, I learned that professor came here as a Jewish refugee from the Nazis. My bad — turns out he just didn’t like being questioned by annoying students."
😂 Forcing down that paranoia is a great way to put it. It's so easy to jump to conclusions when we think we've been treated unfairly. The maturity to stop that train of thought until there's some evidence to back it up is a tragically dying skill.
Steve, I'd love to know what you think of these groups that say People of Color feel unsafe hiking in American state and national parks: https://www.oregonlive.com/travel/2023/07/oregon-groups-create-a-path-for-people-of-color-to-feel-safe-on-wilderness-trails.html
"I'd love to know what you think of these groups that say People of Color feel unsafe hiking in American state and national parks"
😅I can't even bear to read this.I've seen this idiocy so many times before though. Including about hiking and swimming and going to the theatre. I think this is just projection. I've seen it in countless people, of all colours, over all kinds of issues.
If you feel inferior or insecure, you have two choices. You can look inwards and work through what's causing it (this is hard), or you can blame something external and convince yourself that your inferiority complex is the fault of the outside world (this is easy). This works even better if you can find a group of people who are insecure in the same way.
With apologies to Arlo Guthry, "You can find anything you want, at your Twitter account".
https://twitter.com/shoveitjack/status/1674511330252931072/photo/1
The ladies who piled on are not quite my vintage but old enough that I would think they have experienced racism far beyond the idiotic, but common, racism of low expectations expressed in the link I shared above, at least years ago. That is the part that I find disappointing. They are old enough to have seen the improvement with their own eyes and experience.
Is it a matter of best is the enemy of better, or a desire to participate in the victim Olympics? I don't know and don't assume. I understand impatience even when it is an unrealistic demand. But justifying the pessimism while it may seem valid, does not address the issue that you were writing about. The damage done by that negativity. That was ignored.
I bow to option 2. And to people like you, Steve, who tirelessly seek truth and challenge rhetoric that no longer serves any of us. Does anyone remember we actually elected Obama and Michelle into the white house?!? The most gracious, savvy, articulate and beautiful president and first Lady to represent our country?!? Ever?!? People of colour my age (64 now) and older realized a dream they never dared to believe would become a reality. Despite the fact that politics took an angry nose dive in the years following, we can still see that amazing progress has occurred. Barack and Michelle continue to contribute excellent writing and perspectives about current events.
Mrs. C is a prefect example of the problem with the concept of "anti-racism" in general: by assuming racism is behind everything, one is indeed constantly on the prowl for it, and the social points one scores by finding (or thinking they found) it are truly addictive.
"When I began to grow stronger and more confident, I was able to see that men are individual human beings - just like women - and that I needed to be brave enough to open my heart and view each man as a unique person, not as a subhuman predator. This opened up my world and healed my heart. Life got better for me."
Thank you Penny. This is so important. And the saddest part is, people who are stuck in that phase of hypervigilance will view people who try to pull them out of it as the enemy. Even though the only way to heal is to find a way out of it.
As you say, the biggest problem for black America is that this mindset of victimhood and hypervigilance is extremely actively encouraged. If I were more conspiratorially minded this would be near the top of my list of conspiracy theories. I know too many people personally who are stuck in this trap.
While all humans are potentially dangerous, men are undeniably dangerous. I have recognized that throughout my lifetime but as a 6'3" man it has (perhaps foolishly) had less influence on my behavior than it has had on my 5'0" wife. She quite properly, in my opinion, exercises a degree of caution around men in isolated places.
I don't think that makes her a bigot. In her barefoot childhood she was bitten by farmer's dogs. She loves dogs, but exercises caution around dogs unknown to her.
I think that the line between appropriate caution of dangerous things and bigotry is actually clear or should be.