"*But*, as I've noted before, many of the problems that certain black communities face are the result of very different manifestations of racism. It's unfair to talk about the former without recognising the latter, as there's a straight line between the two. And ironically, the people in those marginalised communities are far more likely…
"*But*, as I've noted before, many of the problems that certain black communities face are the result of very different manifestations of racism. It's unfair to talk about the former without recognising the latter, as there's a straight line between the two. And ironically, the people in those marginalised communities are far more likely to be reasonable and rational and clear about the changes they want to see both within and without their communities than the hysterical, pampered children on Medium who act as if every micro aggression they experience in Starbucks is the same as slavery."
Thirty years ago I lived in the state of Georgia. I worked a 2nd shift as a technician and there was an old black woman who changed parts for me. I spent quite a few cumulative hours talking with her, or more accurately listening to her. She had a lot to get off her chest having direct memory of burning crosses. While she was quite honest about her extreme low opinion of white men and sometimes her words were quite harsh, she needed me to listen as much as I needed to listen to her.
The thing is, it was easier for me sit sit next to her and listen than it is today to read the thoughts of the Starbucks drinkers. It's not that they have nothing to say that is valid, they do, but sitting with her where i could "feel" both her venom, pain and the genuineness of her words is different. That is a real deficiency of the internet.
I am an avid bid whist player and in those days I was "Salt" at the "black table" in the break room when I was on day shift in the sea of white pinochle tables. One day one of the guys let slip words that quickly caused him to say, "Excuse me Salt. I shouldn't have said that in front of you. Looking at my card you blend in." He didn't apologize for the words or the thought behind them, just for letting me hear them. It didn't bother me, I got it and needed to hear them more that the others at the table and the crowd of kibitzers that you find at a hot seat bid whist game.
We do need to listen, but it was disheartening to read "Sit down and shut up white man, you have nothing to say" when I gave an opinion on Medium. From a white woman I considered a friend at that. We need two way communication. Listening to idiots is a thing too, but as you wrote, that needs to go through a filter of "nobody elected this person spokesperson for a monolithic group.
"it was disheartening to read "Sit down and shut up white man, you have nothing to say" when I gave an opinion on Medium"
I completely agree. I'm so tired of hearing this across all of the various, arbitrary divides. Men can't talk about women's issues. White people can't talk about black issues. Non-trans people can't talk about trans issues. It's so obviously divisive and stupid. And increasingly, it's not even a divide of identity, it's a divide of opinion. Black people attack other black people with the "wrong" opinions. Women attack women, trans people attack other trans people. I've said it before but it just doesn't stop being true; we need to learn to talk with people who disagree with us without demonising them.
You make a good point about talking in person vs reading online too. Online discourse really sucks the humanity out of people and makes context so much more difficult to appreciate. That's why it takes extra special effort to do it compassionately. As online is the way most of us connect these days, it's effort we all need to make.
Sad to hear about that guy at the whist table though. The issue is what he said, not whether you were there to hear it. The fact that he clearly doesn't appreciate that is disheartening frankly.
"*But*, as I've noted before, many of the problems that certain black communities face are the result of very different manifestations of racism. It's unfair to talk about the former without recognising the latter, as there's a straight line between the two. And ironically, the people in those marginalised communities are far more likely to be reasonable and rational and clear about the changes they want to see both within and without their communities than the hysterical, pampered children on Medium who act as if every micro aggression they experience in Starbucks is the same as slavery."
Thirty years ago I lived in the state of Georgia. I worked a 2nd shift as a technician and there was an old black woman who changed parts for me. I spent quite a few cumulative hours talking with her, or more accurately listening to her. She had a lot to get off her chest having direct memory of burning crosses. While she was quite honest about her extreme low opinion of white men and sometimes her words were quite harsh, she needed me to listen as much as I needed to listen to her.
The thing is, it was easier for me sit sit next to her and listen than it is today to read the thoughts of the Starbucks drinkers. It's not that they have nothing to say that is valid, they do, but sitting with her where i could "feel" both her venom, pain and the genuineness of her words is different. That is a real deficiency of the internet.
I am an avid bid whist player and in those days I was "Salt" at the "black table" in the break room when I was on day shift in the sea of white pinochle tables. One day one of the guys let slip words that quickly caused him to say, "Excuse me Salt. I shouldn't have said that in front of you. Looking at my card you blend in." He didn't apologize for the words or the thought behind them, just for letting me hear them. It didn't bother me, I got it and needed to hear them more that the others at the table and the crowd of kibitzers that you find at a hot seat bid whist game.
We do need to listen, but it was disheartening to read "Sit down and shut up white man, you have nothing to say" when I gave an opinion on Medium. From a white woman I considered a friend at that. We need two way communication. Listening to idiots is a thing too, but as you wrote, that needs to go through a filter of "nobody elected this person spokesperson for a monolithic group.
"it was disheartening to read "Sit down and shut up white man, you have nothing to say" when I gave an opinion on Medium"
I completely agree. I'm so tired of hearing this across all of the various, arbitrary divides. Men can't talk about women's issues. White people can't talk about black issues. Non-trans people can't talk about trans issues. It's so obviously divisive and stupid. And increasingly, it's not even a divide of identity, it's a divide of opinion. Black people attack other black people with the "wrong" opinions. Women attack women, trans people attack other trans people. I've said it before but it just doesn't stop being true; we need to learn to talk with people who disagree with us without demonising them.
You make a good point about talking in person vs reading online too. Online discourse really sucks the humanity out of people and makes context so much more difficult to appreciate. That's why it takes extra special effort to do it compassionately. As online is the way most of us connect these days, it's effort we all need to make.
Sad to hear about that guy at the whist table though. The issue is what he said, not whether you were there to hear it. The fact that he clearly doesn't appreciate that is disheartening frankly.