What Is A Trans Kid?

For as long as he could remember, Jason knew he was different from the other boys. But like most young children, he didn’t yet have the words to express his feelings. 

All he knew is that his body felt wrong.

At first he tried to ignore it, hoping he'd feel better as he got older, but the feelings only grew more intense as he began to go through puberty. He struggled alone for years, battling suicidal thoughts, fearing judgement from his peers, afraid to tell even the people closest to him what he was going through. 

In high school, hormones and the overwhelming pressure to be “normal” helped him to put his feelings aside. He fell in love and began building a career, but the feeling still wouldn’t go away. And when his “distraction” cost him his relationship, he knew it was time to stop running from who he was. 

And so, after years of hiding and wishing, Jason decided to boldly live his truth…by chopping off his right hand a few inches above the wrist.

It’s worth emphasising that Jason didn’t do this impulsively. It wasn’t a phase or a fetish or a social trend. He meticulously planned the amputation, testing various techniques on animal parts that he’d secured from a local butcher. 

John had spent his life desperate to align his internal sense of himself with external reality. He spent years trying to fight it. In the end, he just decided to take matters into his own hand.

Of course, no sane, morally intact adult would encourage a child in Jason’s situation. 

We’d all see how doing so would increase the chances of him doing something he’d deeply regret. We’d all object to “affirming” him by letting him wear growth-impairing devices to simulate his desired disability. We’d all discourage him from hanging around with friends who pretended to see him as disabled. 

And, at least in Jason’s case, we’d all be wrong. 

Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) is a rare but recognised condition where sufferers wish to become disabled (often, but not always, through the amputation of a limb). Rates of suicide ideation are high (well over 50%), the desire for amputation is extremely persistent (in one case, a man went through with his plan to have both legs amputated even after losing his right arm in an unrelated accident), and in the small studies carried out so far, rates of regret are low.

There comes a point where forcing people to do what’s right for almost everyone else is more damaging than letting them do what’s right for them. 

But until five cultural minutes ago, we recognised that therapy is one of the best ways to figure out where that point lies. We understood that it’s not hateful to question people before they make drastic, life-altering decisions. And most importantly, we recognised that in pretty much every aspect of life, the time to make those decisions is adulthood.

Getting a tattoo, joining the army, consenting to sex, drinking alcohol, we’re allowed, no, expected, to guide children through decisions that have long-term consequences. In many cases, we’re legally required to protect kids from their impulsive, hormone-addled brains.

And the only exception, the only case where parents can lose custody of their child or be sent to jail if they don’t unquestioningly affirm their kids is when they’re a trans kid. The only time anyone claims that informing parents about changes to their child’s behaviour is “dangerous” is when they have a trans kid. The only time questioning the safety of a medication puts your livelihood at risk is when it's for a…well, you get the idea. 

Trans kids, we're told, are uniquely vulnerable. But not in the kinds of ways that mean they shouldn’t be “protected” from people who love them. Not in the sense that they might be confused or ill-informed about a decision that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Not in the sense that they could be misled by cutesy euphemisms like “top surgery” and “bottom surgery” (instead of grown-up terms like “bi-lateral mastectomy” and “penile inversion").