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Passion guided by reason's avatar

Another thing I noticed in the interchange - that tendency to project, either unconsciously or tactically.

I see the core of the "victimhood narrative" as being the concept that victimhood is valorized and is used as justification for more power over others; the more victimized you can portray yourself, the more power you get. But I see people on the side which seems to specialize more in this behavior, call anybody who criticizes or objects in any way "playing the victim".

Conservatives have used the term "snowflake" for what they feel are fragile children who will melt at the least offense. But now I see people calling any conservative who criticizes or objects in any way a "snowflake".

I'll skip other examples (like "fragility") and return to your post. Taking offense is also something which can be used to try to acquire power over others. Any criticism or objection in any way to that dynamics, is called "being offended" by it.

The pattern is - ignore the actual dynamics being asserted (victimhood valorization, snowflake fragility, offense taking as power seeking) and just (mis)-use the same word in the other direction. There is no way to criticize or object without being mislabeled as "doing the same thing".

It's a word game, it is not honest good faith engagement.

This reminds me that I decided over a decade ago to stop using the word "whining" to describe other people's actions, because I began to realize that absolutely any complaint, no matter how legitimate or wrongheaded, can be easily smeared and dismissed by labeling it "whining". If you say, "gee the weather is hot today" that can be called whining about the weather. If you say that the concentration of wealth and power among a small elites is alarming, that can be called whining. If you say you were told that the grad schools you applied for have no more positions for white men, that will be called whining. There is not way one can criticize or object to anything which cannot easily be reframed as whining. So now I very rarely characterized anything as "whining"; I find a more substantial characterization, rather than a all purpose disparaging slur.

(More recently, I also don't use "snowflake". And I question myself any time I might be tempted to say that I'm offended, and usually find a better what of expressing myself).

Alas, there are those who wallow in such tactics rather than choosing to avoid them.

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Mark Monday's avatar

Really liked this one!

Especially this part: 'I’ll just start taking a shot every time somebody uses the word “gaslighting” or “harm” or “lived experience” to deflect an argument they’re having trouble with.'

Oh boy come to SF and work at a nonprofit and be drunk before noon!

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