People Easily Become Overly Sensitive
We’ve lost a lot of words to overuse lately. Mainly because it’s become trendy to go straight for the top-shelf words to communicate distress or confusion or distaste.
Genocide, bigotry, hatred, fascism, the list goes on. And one that I find particularly irritating; trauma.
In my article, The Self-Imposed Infantilization of Black People, I wrote about Frederick Joseph, who claimed to have “experienced trauma” after a white woman suggested that he “stay in his hood” during a minor quarrel at a dog park.
I gently suggested that this was, in fact, bulls**t. Joseph might well have been annoyed or irked or peeved, vexed even. But a brief, non-physical disagreement with somebody who is half your size is not “traumatic” for any vaguely emotionally mature adult.
Pepe wasn’t so ready to discount those top-shelf words. He begins with a quote from the article.
Pepe:
“But tell me he “experienced trauma” because he was told to “stay in his hood” (not even to stay in the hood mind you), and I’m calling bulls**t.”
There's a big chance he really did experience trauma. In a world where victimhood is glorified, people easily become overly sensitive. When victimhood gives you the sweet taste of importance and attention, you attach to it, which shapes you into a more vulnerable person. You feel good in this cosy place and the traumatic experiences you gather feed your victimhood.
The problem you are addressing is embeded into very deep an complex layers of humanity. By trying to "protect" from anything at any cost we are producing weak people who are easily stressed and need even more protection.
My bet is that the society has conditioned him into victimhood so much, that he really did experience trauma.
Steve QJ:
“My bet is that the society has conditioned him into victimhood so much, that he really did experience trauma.”
I see your point, but I'm not sure I buy this. Yes, there is a concerted effort to convince people that they should be offended by everything. And this especially produces weak people. But real life is still free enough of this nonsense (and still a far bigger influence), that I don't believe the "snowflake culture" is dominating.
Joseph is a NYT bestselling author. That alone demonstrates a level of resilience most people don't have. He's also pulled this kind of stunt a number of times before. Crying racism seems to be his MO when he needs a little attention.
Again, and this isn't exclusive to black people, I refuse to normalise the idea that people are such weaklings. And if they are, I'm putting the onus firmly on them, and on society to help them, to be stronger.
Trauma doesn't mean "he was annoyed for a few hours" or "he got his feelings hurt". We can't lose track of what these words mean, because the people who experience genuine trauma need us to understand the difference.
Pepe:
You're right. I didn't know Joseph's background... now that you put it in this perspective, he was probably faking his trauma for his personal gain.
I still believe the cult of victimhood has a complex impact on the society. Once it becomes a dominant narative it can produce people who not only are week, but enjoy the mental cosiness of collective weakness. If this happens (I'd say it's already happening in a certain amount), it wont't be a clearly visible change, but something which happens gradually, subconsciously in small steps without anyone noticing.
Definitely something to watch for.
Steve QJ:
“but enjoy the mental cosiness of collective weakness.”
Yeah, I completely agree, and it's definitely already happening. I guess all we're disagreeing about (and not that strongly to be fair), is how genuine this is.
So I completely agree; some people enjoy the mental cosiness of collective weakness. They enjoy crying "victim" and wielding the power it gives them. But I think they know exactly what they're doing.
Just as, for example, Amy Cooper knew what she was doing when she repeatedly told the police "There's an African American man threatening my life" in that fake "damsel in distress" voice she put on.
Of course she wasn't really afraid. But if she hadn't been caught on camera, she'd have insisted that she was in fear for her life until her dying day.
Victimhood is big business in 2023. But you have to learn the lingo.
Don’t talk about black people, “black bodies” is far more emotive. Were you confronted with a fact that challenges your worldview? Don’t forget to claim that you feel “unsafe.” Is your right to do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want, being questioned? My God! Don’t you see they’re challenging your right to “exist”?
Manipulating language in this way allows dishonest people to weaponise kindness. Because they know most decent people are eager not to offend. So if they can win the emotional argument, they hardly ever need to bother with the intellectual bit.
But frankly, I refuse to play along with this. I have enough respect for people, including people I disagree with, that I refuse to shield them from minor disagreements. I refuse to wrap each word in cotton wool as if I were talking to a child. I refuse to validate the idea that a difference of opinion will “traumatise” anybody.
And perhaps most importantly, I want to reserve those top-shelf words for when they’re genuinely needed.
Another great article. Yes, language has fallen prey to the culture of victimhood. A key question, which was not addressed in your example, is "who is the audience?" If it is just the "offending" party, then an exaggerated response to a perceived slight is an attempt to assert the moral high ground, however unjustified.
But the REAL damage occurs when the exaggerated response is directed at third parties or the public at large. And here, I would argue, is where the real cultural change has taken place, in that these exaggerated claims of offense are VALIDATED by workplace HR departments, college disciplinary bodies, Twitter mobs, etc. Validation by society or by authoritative bodies is what makes it a "culture" of victimhood as opposed to one person just trying to shut the other person down.
When people resort to hyperbole and expect people to take it seriously it is difficult to remain polite and not just call it bullshit. It is so frequent in internet discussion that it seems like it has become the norm. When coupled with mindreading (assumption of motivation) it is amplified.
Pepe may have a point. Many, if not most of the 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 are examples of first world pampered and privileged people who have never experienced emotional discomfort beyond things that should have a micro prefix. But as Steve points out, are they really so fragile that they are traumatized by things considered trivial in most of the world? Probably not, they are trying to collect undeserved sympathy as empathy.
Teakettle tempests Karen and Ken may richly deserve the blowback that "traumatizes" them but the people they claim to represent may not.