I’m So Over The Concept That They Magically Become Adults At 18

Human beings instinctively put things into categories. Good/bad, friend/foe, hot/not.

Categories make complexity easier to understand, they help us to generalise, they allow us to set boundaries. Unfortunately, more and more people see categories as nothing but “power structures” that oppress people.

In my article, Okay, Seriously, Can We Talk About The Sexualisation Of Kids? I wrote about the gradual erosion of the categories; sexually appropriate/inappropriate. Especially as it relates to children. I wrote about how flagrant safeguarding violations are being wrongly justified as “support” for the LGBT community.

Rogue seemed unclear on why the category of “child” even exists.

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Rogue:

As a gay man, so much to process here. Some top of mind thoughts.

#1. In terms of the teacher with huge boob. They are high schoolers. They are not “kids”. I’m so over the concept that they magically become adults at 18. They are very likely much more aware than you are on “kinks” given the internet. I raised two daughters. Now they are over 30 they are telling me all the things they did. That was 20 years ago

#2. For high school, there is nothing that is inappropriate to expose them to. Exposing them gets it out of the dark into the light! Let’s talk about it! They need to learn to think. Assuming they can’t handle it is indoctrination.

#3 for younger than high school. It’s a challenging discuss. You are ok with gay couples. Are you ok with a single gay person. Can they have a discussion on who the single gay person is dating. Can they talk about what they do on dates? Are you ok with a trans person? Can the trans person say they are trans? The big boob and drag queen things are distractions from my perspective. But I’m very careful about judging given how I as a gay person hid who I was.

#4. Can you specifically itemize what is appropriate. Is a teacher who uses AAVE appropriate? Is discussing the 1619 project appropriate? Who gets to define appropriate?

Kids who are Christians have studied the Bible for ages. Is that appropriate given what the Bible covers?

You and I have already talked about your hang ups with nudity in the locker room. Can boys still use gang showers. Kids use to swim nude. Why is that a problem today?

Society in the divided states is totally hung up on what are norms for kids. Most kids don’t care. The parents are the ones who care and are defining their view of appropriate?

I’m all for communities figuring out what is appropriate in their community. I’m not for some expansive concept at the state or federal government level on that. It didn’t work out well for me as a gay guy when I was a kid or in high school!

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Steve QJ:

“I’m so over the concept that they magically become adults at 18.”

#1 & 2. This argument ends in disaster though, no? From multiple angles.

Age of consent is arbitrary. No argument from me. But that doesn't make it any less necessary. If we start saying, "well, they're 17, that's close enough to adulthood," where is the sensible place to stop? Sometimes slippery slopes really are slippery.

But even if we ignore that and say that some 17-year-olds are mature enough to be exposed to an adult teacher's fetish, what about those who aren't okay with it? Numerous students complained and said they were uncomfortable. How many of them is it okay to make uncomfortable to satisfy an obvious adult fetish? 10? 20? 1?

And lastly, why should these kids have to indulge this adult? Why do the adult's feelings get precedence?Adults get to indulge their sexuality whenever they want. Whatever you're into, there's a club or a website where you make it happen. I know because I've been to a number of those clubs. I am very, very much not a prude. But I draw a bright red line around children. And I respect the age of consent on principle. This is one of the very rare cases where nuance is not a good thing in my opinion.

#3. Yes I have absolutely no issue with children learning that gay people and trans people exist. Absolutely none. I have a problem with talk about or demonstration of sexual activity for 4-year-olds. This absolutely extends to heterosexual sexual activity too.

#4. This is a weird segue. And seems a little disingenuous unless you're expecting a very long list. I don't have hang ups about nudity. It's weird how attacked you seem to feel by this issue. I simply think that adults should consider the comfort of those around them. Especially when it's easy to do so. I also think there should be some very obvious basic standards of decency around children that we can all agree on.

I don't think there are many adult human beings naive enough to look at that teacher and not see a fetishistic display. Of course there will be grey areas of acceptability. I think it's quite possible to have reasonable, genuine disagreements about those. This is not a grey area.

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Rogue:

Thanks for the response.

The different ways we look at the concepts of sex, nudity and fetish is exactly the point.